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It surprised him how easily the media ate up Jacob’s lies. But Nate thought he shouldn’t be surprised at all. It wasn’t the first time the man lied on national television and he seemed so fearless about it too.
Tshepo voiced what he was thinking. “If you are thinking Jacob Henderson has friends in high places you are not wrong. Arresting him will be difficult. I have dug through a lot of his messes in the past and that sex trade of his is far more complicated than you and I can ever think about. We are talking Jeffrey Epstein's type of business. He has senators, tycoons, governors even Monarchs in the palm of his hands. He is an underdog with much more power than the man on the seat.”
“So you are saying you cannot put a stop to his evil?” Nate asked, annoyed that he already knew Tshepo’s answer.
Tshepo shook his head. “Not until I know what his endgame is. There is a bigger picture here, I can’t tell you the details neither can I tell you about my suspicions but keeping you safe is the best I can do right now.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Tshepo asked aghast that Nate would even ask what he thought was a stupid question. “Because his recent attack proves that he is only interested in you. Jacob Henderson is a very strategic man and that’s obvious by all he has done recently. He not just going to go for the throat, he is going to topple your very essence as a human being and when you have nothing left he is going to go for the jugular and finish you completely. Nate, whatever you do be careful. And for Rachel’s sake, I need you to stay away from her.”
“She is never going to hurt me.”
“Maybe not voluntarily but if Jacob has something on her, a string of some sort she would not hesitate to kill you to save her skin. Also, you need to consider her safety after what Jacob tried to do to her. The man is a monster.”
“Rachel would never hurt me,” Nate argued but he knew Tshepo was right. He couldn’t put Rachel’s life in danger by being seen with her again but the more he thought about her the more he ached for her again and it wasn’t just his body that ached for her, even his mind, his heart…his totality wanted to convince himself that she was safe.
She must hate him.
He knew she did given her rejection of him that day at Philippe Giovanni’s. He didn’t blame her. He had months to think about everything he did to her. He found himself watching the tapes he made of her. There were some she didn’t even know about, some tapes that showed her in her vulnerable moments. He realized with burning guilt that he had been unfair. After all, she wasn’t Vera yet he had treated her like she was the object of his betrayal.
After all, she had been nothing but submissive to him. He dictated that she offered herself for his pleasure and she had done so even though she had just been hurt by another man, the one she called her husband.
She hadn’t punished him for another man’s sin yet he had hurt her for the sins of another woman.
Yet he spoke of trust to her at every turn.
He!
A man torn apart by mistrust had used such a word on a woman like her. He had cajoled her into trusting him so that he would pull the rug out from under her and hurt her in the most hurtful way possible.
Sure he had succeeded but he had also succeeded in hurting himself too.
He made up his mind hours after Tshepo left that he had to see. He needed to see her.
He just needed to find a way out of the handcuff and out of the hospital - the handcuff on his injured hand was removed.
But before he could come up with a plan to leave he got a surprise visitor 5 days later.
Vera.
She walked into the ward so quietly he almost didn’t hear her footsteps. It wasn’t until her shadow, lengthened by the dying light streaming in through the window and fell against him that he became aware of her presence.
He raised his eyes to her sharp black eyes, his gaze stone cold and hard. “Did you slither through the guards like a snake then?” he asked.
She moved the lone chair in the room toward his bed and took her seat. She was as beautiful as ever. Her willowy figure perfectly filled out her self-designed velvet red gown. “That seems to be the only way to get through to you, isn’t it? I have to be as cunning as a snake around you.”
“Leave.”
She didn’t show any sign of leaving. Dropping her bag she held her hands in her lap and folded them. “Tshepo is very protective of you, isn’t he? He even has you tied up because he knows how hotheaded you can be. Why do you think so?”
Nate ignored her.
“What do you think Jacob wants?” she asked.
“Why don’t you go ask him? You did tell him about the contract, didn’t you? You helped ruin another woman’s life.”
“I didn’t have to tell Jacob about the contract for you to try to ruin her life. In fact, I think telling Jacob did make the impact of your betrayal a softer blow for her, Nathaniel. It’s what you do, you are quite the expert at ruining other people’s lives and you find it easy blaming someone else for your wrong. Let’s settle this like adults for the first time, Nate, and this time let’s not throw blames, let’s take responsibility for our actions.”
Nate was glaring at her with hate. If he could move he would snap her neck in half not just because of his hate, she was the second woman to destroy his trust after all, but because she was right and he didn’t want to admit it.
Vera who had been sitting primly in the seat suddenly slumped and bowed her head for a second. When she looked up again she laid her hands on Nate’s bed and sniffed. She didn't look so angry anymore when she spoke, “I take full responsibility for the part I played. I shouldn’t have gone to Jacob with news of the contract you served Rachel. After all, you did teach me that acting irrationally based off of emotions will end disastrously. I was a jealous woman trying to get what I lost back even though I willingly gave it away.”
She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them again she had a pleading look in her eyes. “I gave you away in my greed, Nathaniel. You weren’t a totally bad husband and I took advantage of that. I know you might think that what happened between us was premeditated but I assure you it wasn’t. My greed got the best of me and I acted not just on that greed alone but also fear.”
Nate tilted his head toward her and his frown disappeared for a few seconds and then it appeared again.
“Fear?” he mused aloud.
“Yes, Nathaniel, fear.” She sucked in a breath. “You scared me, Nathaniel. You introduced me to a new world of sex and loving and feeling – nothing like I ever experienced before but you were a monster in it. Every session with you in The Room felt like a punishment for me. I enjoyed it at the beginning but it got darker, the whips, the belts, the clamps, the hooks then the teeth, you got worse and I felt like I was watching the birth of a monster over and over again with every single session. Sure you were sweet afterward, but it doesn’t change the fact that some deep, dark part of you takes over when you have people tied up at your mercy.”
She released her breath and she relaxed in her seat again. Nate watched her movements eyes wide with surprise. She never spoke of these things during their divorce. He concluded she had cheated him out of his wealth out of greed – well she had – but he never knew she had other reasons for doing so. He didn’t want to interrupt her, he wanted to hear all she had to say.
“After all you told me about your early life in Gabore, I feel like such a terrible for doing what I did but when I couldn’t take it anymore…” she wiped her eyes and it was only then he realized she was crying. That was why she had been bowing her head intermittently. “You are a good man Nathaniel. I don’t care what you think about me but I know that you are a good man. And there are good people too, not all women are your mother who left you alone in this world. Not all men are the men you call fathers. You are not a murderer. You are not a monster. There are good people and Rachel, she is one of them. She wanted to help you. She wanted to change you. She thought she could. I wish I could have done that instead of choosing the coward’s way out. But that’s why I am here…you need help, Nathaniel. You need a therapist.”
His hands were shaking and he didn’t even realize it. All he heard were the echoes of Vera’s words. He needed help…not all men were his fathers…not all women were his mother…he needed help.
His eyes stung.
He needed help.
He heard Vera’s voice again. “I am sorry for what I did to you and Rachel. I realized now that I cannot eat my cake and have it. What I can do is help another woman save the man she loves. I have spoken to a few therapist friends of mine and if you are willing you can choose whoever you feel comfortable with. You need help, Nate,” she cried.
