Chapter 66

"You're saying the right things, Jimmy. I need to see you walking the walk. That fair?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Okay. I'll pay you a grand a week. You're going to be the studio guitar bitch. Anytime anyone needs a guitarist, you're it. I don't care about style, I don't care about how good the band or performer is, I don't care about anything other than you're playing your best every time with a fucking smile on your face. We'll find time every day to work together one on one. Good deal?"

"Sure. Good deal."

"Jimmy, you gotta be sober. That going to be an issue?"

"Uhm, no. I haven't touched anything in more than three weeks and I'm going to keep that up. But maybe we should start Monday. That'll give me a month dry. Sort of a nice, round number. It's not too bad. I just need to sorta get my head straight. I don't want to be flipping out on people here because I want a drink."

"Okay. If that's an issue, Big Mike can help. He's my sponsor."

"Your... Seriously? You're in a program?"

"Yup."

"Uhm, I don't think I'm at that point, but if it's worse than I thought, I'll let you know."

I believed him. He didn't have the signs of an issue so bad he'd get DTs or serious withdrawals. He went home and I told Lini and Mike. He'd be stringing instruments, teaching lessons, playing for anyone that needed it and anything else we could think of.

Towards the end of the day, I got a text from Em.

How many kids would be performing?

Not sure. 10? Maybe?

She soon replied.

U sure she's ready?

They will all be at her level. She'll be fine.

I had to wait at least five minutes for her reply.

Okay. Please set it up. Don't make me regret this.

Smiling, I made the call to arrange for her inclusion.

*****

Ember

Leia clutched at my hand in a way she hadn't since she was probably four or five.

"Mom, I thought it was just gonna be a few people."

With every ounce of motherly strength I could muster, I hid the fact that I, too, was terrified.

"It's not that many people, honey."

It was so many people.

"You won't even notice them once you're on stage."

Nothing I could say would make her feel better. It took Baylee squealing and grabbing Leia excitedly to turn the nerves into excitement.

"Leia, it's just like when we're playing at home, only you get to be a real rockstar this time!" She sighed dramatically, then giggled. "Remember me when you're famous!"

Leia turned red but her gap-toothed smile peeked shyly across her face.

"She's been begging all morning to go onstage and sing while Leia plays," Kelsie muttered in my ear. "If she asks, I checked with you and you said the guitar teacher said no."

I nodded, my face stony.

Ten kids, Alex had said. They'd all be at her level, he had said. It was just a small showcase to promote a local music school, he said. Mostly grandmas and grandpas and parents sitting in the food court at the mall, waiting for their own precious kid to get onstage and ignoring the rest of what was happening, he said.

Alex was so full of shit I was almost more angry at myself for believing him.

There was a stage set up on one side of the food court. Lights and microphones were being put on the stage, a bunch of chairs were set up in front of it, and people were milling about already. Not just grandmas and grandpas and parents, but people who looked like they knew what they were doing. They were there for a reason.

Leia and Baylee walked ahead, Leia clutching her guitar to her chest as she scanned for any sign of Alex. Her hair was French-braided into two shiny, tight pigtails that had taken me the majority of the morning. She had steadfastly refused to wear a dress, which was a good call on her part since it was just my own nervous anxiety at what the other mothers would think if I sent her up there in jeans and a T-shirt.

"That bastard," I muttered to Kelsie. "He told me this was a small thing."

"It's going to be fine," she muttered back. "It's not that huge a thing."

"Look at all these people!"

"Yeah, and did you see the big poster board over there or were you too busy freaking the fuck out?"

She tilted her head in the direction of said poster.

"I can't even see that from here."

She snorted. "It says the beginner level kids will be onstage from 4 to 5. I'm assuming that's Leia's group. I very much doubt that they're expecting a full house for a bunch of seven-year-olds. It's probably to make sure the mics work and everything."

I glared at her sidelong. "Since when do you know so much about music recitals?"

"Dude, I played piano for like thirteen years. I've been in shit like this."

"Jimmy never did shit like this."

"Jimmy didn't exactly have the standard upbringing, either."

I didn't have time to respond before Leia whirled around.

"Mom, he's not here yet," she said, ignoring Baylee's excited chatter. "And Mom, neither is Uncle Jimmy."

Her lower lip trembled and I forced a smile.

"They'll be here, sweetie. It doesn't start for a little while still."

Even still, I pulled out my phone and typed a text to Jimmy.

Get your ass here asap I'm freaking out and Leia's starting to worry

"Calm yourself, I'm right here."

I jumped as Jimmy came up behind me, patting me on the back before dipping down so Leia could throw her arms around his neck. I took a breath as he lifted her off her feet, grinning over her shoulder as he whirled her around.

"Hey, munchkin," he said. "This is so cool, I can't wait to see you up there! You're going to do awesome."

My nerves settled as I watched the fear melt from Leia's face. She looked up to Jimmy, grinning broadly. He, in turn, had a genuine smile on his face as he patted her on the back.

"C'mon, Uncle Jimmy, where should you guys sit to watch me?"

"Run up and see if there's room in the third row, right near the aisle, okay?"

"What's so special about the third row?" I asked as the girls took off.

"Nothing, I just wanted to tell you to calm down, she's gonna be fine."

"Where's Alex?"

"I dunno, Em, probably on his way. Tone down the stress, it's just a recital."

"He said it was going to be way smaller—"

"Em." Jimmy looked at me with a sobering, mature calmness that was like nothing I'd ever seen before. "Alex knows his shit, he wouldn't put Leia up there if she wasn't ready, and he probably didn't realize there was a showcase after."

"You have two grown-ass adults telling you to calm down," Kelsie added. "Stop overreacting."

I stared at both of them for a moment before blinking and shaking my head.

"Okay. You're right. I won't kill him the second he walks in, I'll wait for him to explain himself."

"Who are we killing the second he walks in?"

I turned towards the sound of Alex's voice, ready to forget what I had just said and give him a piece of my mind. I then immediately forgot what I was about to say, even though the words had been ready to burst out of my mouth.

Alex was... hot.

Whenever we went to Leia's lessons, Alex was dressed in variations of the same outfit. Khaki pants, usually a golf shirt, stuff that I would consider to be standard wear for a guy not quite twice my age. Besides the tattoos that peeked out from his sleeves and collar, there was really no indication that Alex was anything besides a mild-mannered, clean-cut business owner.

Even dressed like that, he was damn good-looking. But his weekend wear was... well, the kind of thing that would have made that accidental-date a lot less accidental.

Fitted jeans. Black T-shirt. Leather jacket. And an expression on his face that was part bemusement, part cocky smirk, part waiting for me to finish whatever I'd been saying as the moment got longer and more awkward.

"Um."

"Who's Um?"

"What?"

Alex laughed. "I said who're you killing. You said Um. That your evil twin or something?"

Christ, it was like he didn't even realize he was dressed like... I mean, he had no idea. He strolled in, not even a little bit aware of how different he looked, how he was absolutely fucking dripping sex appeal.

"Well, since Em is apparently too rude to introduce us, hi." Kelsie elbowed past me and stuck out her hand. "I'm Kelsie. Em's best friend."

"Nice to meet you. Alex."

"Pleasure, Alex. So, you single?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Hmm." Kelsie smiled brightly. "Well, let's go take a seat, shall we?"

She maneuvered her way into the aisle first, forcing Baylee to sit next to her. Of course, that meant Leia had to sit next to Baylee, and she absolutely insisted that Jimmy sit next to her, leaving me and Alex sitting at the end of the row.

"Thanks a fucking lot," I mouthed at her.

"You're welcome," she said loudly.

After Alex spoke with Leia about what to expect and everyone was settled and waiting with various levels of eagerness for the first student to take the stage, Alex leaned toward me. I inhaled that same spiced scent of his cologne, so light it hardly seemed to be there, so enticing I had to stop myself from leaning closer.

"So why were you going to kill me when I walked in?"

"This just seemed a little bit more... elaborate... than you made it out to be."

He glanced around. "It's just a mall food court."

"I meant... you know, the stage and stuff. It's... I've realized now it's not as intense as I thought it was. So you're safe. For now."

He chuckled lightly.

"Well, how 'bout I make it up to you? Let me take you guys out to dinner after to celebrate Leia's first performance."

"It's a date," I said without thinking.

"Is it?"

Before I could reply, a man stepped onto the stage and tapped the mic, signaling the start of the recital.

*****

Alex

Leia went back to the section where the waiting performers gathered. She was fourth up. Clutching her guitar, she kept looking over at us pleadingly, as if we could somehow magically take away the butterflies that must have been swarming in her stomach. Em started to get up as the first little boy began playing his cello.

I put my hand on her thigh. "Let me get this. Trust me?"

She turned from her daughter to me and there was a pause before she nodded. I slipped from my seat as unobtrusively as possible. When I got up to her, Leia grabbed my forearm. She'd done this before and it was sort of odd. Most kids grabbed your hand.

"Hey, kiddo. A little nervous?"

"No, I'm okay."

Her voice was shaking.

"Good. Just what I wanted to hear. That being the case, you probably won't need it, but I have a surprise for you."

"Really?"

"Really. You know how you've been playing some songs with Uncle Jimmy?" She nodded her head again. "Well, he's right over there."

Jimmy was standing between a large sign listing the times for the performers and the stage. Unless you were actually behind him or on the stage, he couldn't be seen.

"So, we've played everything you're going to play a million times at the studio, right? Same thing. You know you can do it, because you've already done it. But, if you get a little nervous, Uncle Jimmy is going to be right there and he's going to be playing along with you on his guitar. Every note of every song, just like you do at home. If you need to, just look over at him. He'll be right there with you the whole way through."

Leia launched herself at me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I awkwardly just stood there for a minute before reaching down and patting her back.

"Okay, I gotta get back to my seat. You gonna be okay? Just look at me or your mom or at Uncle Jimmy. We've got you."

She nodded and when I turned to walk away, she grabbed my forearm again. "Thank you, Mr. Alex."

"You're very welcome, sweetie."

I tried to be as quiet as possible as I went back and took my seat. The other little kid, Leia's friend, stared at me the whole time as if I had stolen her candy. I had no idea what I'd done to piss her off. Earlier she'd called me "the guitar teacher" as if it was slightly worse than Gestapo leader. She'd insisted on singing Taylor Swift songs at me until the first performer started. And I do mean 'at me'. Like she was proving a point or something. Kids are weird.

They had chairs set up to the left of the stage that were mostly out of view of the audience. The waiting performers sat there or milled about. We'd see Leia pop into view every once in a while. Em was a wreck. When the third performer left the stage with her violin, Em grabbed my hand in a death grip. Leia was next.

She leaned over and whispered. "I'm a damned wreck."

"Looks like you picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

Em chuckled and mock-punched my arm. She used her left and continued holding my hand with her right.

I wasn't exactly friends with the organizer, but we had a good working relationship. He took the stairs up the stage two at a time, clapped his hands together once and walked briskly to the mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce our next performer. She's a guest with us today and represents Afterglow Studios. She'll be playing the guitar for your enjoyment. Let's give a warm welcome to Leia Reilly!"

Em jumped up and applauded like crazy. Leia walked up the steps and onto the stage and looked terrified. Halfway to the chair they had set up, she looked up, passed us and into the rear of the audience. She stopped in place, frozen and then waved widely, a huge grin breaking out on her face. Leia seemed to calm down, walked over and sat down. Turning around, I didn't see anything.

She did well for her first recital. Looking over at Jimmy when she got flustered, she made her way through four songs, under twenty minutes in total. The audience clapped politely and she ran over and leaped off the side of the stage, I'm assuming into Jimmy's arms. That was confirmed when he came walking around the stage and towards us, carrying her. When she saw everyone she blushed and pushed against him until he put her down.

Running over to us, she hugged everyone and took a seat. Em's friend wanted to leave until I explained that they could do what they wanted, but everyone around us sat through Leia's performance and I was going to do the same for the children that came after her. It took another 90 minutes, but we listened appreciatively and applauded after each kid played.

"So, kiddo, it looked like you settled down really quickly."

Leia looked up at me. "Yeah, I was really shaking, but then I saw Mr. Mike and I sort of felt okay."

"Big Mike was here?"

"Yeah, in the back."

Huh.

We walked off before the intermediate kids got started, letting their friends and family grab our seats. As we wandered through the Pueblo Mall, I was wondering what the etiquette was. Kelsie and her daughter were clearly tight enough with Em to be invited here, so I thought it was okay to ask them to join us.

"Hey, Kelsie. We were going to go get dinner. Can you guys join us?"

She looked at Em and then gave me a small frown. "Oh, I wish I'd known. I promised to take the kids to Mookie's for tacos." They looked like they were about to object. "And Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream. Why don't you and Em have a good time and I'll steal Jimmy to help me with the kids? You can pick up Leia at my place when you're done."

"Uh, yeah, okay. You sure?"

"Absolutely. Have a great time."

Em had no problems with a dinner for adults, so we parted company, letting Kelsie and Jimmy take the kids.

"Park East good? We could stretch our legs afterward at the Riverwalk."

"That's a little pricey. You sure?"

I knew she was careful with her money, but I had the studio, residuals coming in from our first three albums and the money from the songs I wrote with Bryn. Actually, those songs eclipsed my other revenue by a lot. I could eat there three meals a day, every day, but I didn't want to sound like a jackass.

"Well, it's a special occasion and I thought Leia and Jimmy would be with us, so it's actually going to be cheaper than I had planned."

"Okay, sounds great. Am I dressed okay?"

A voice called out from behind us. "Excuse me? I'm sorry, could I get a quick picture?"

Em closed her eyes for a second and spoke from the side of her mouth. "Keep walking. Ignore him."

"Hello? It'll just take a minute. I'm a huge fan."

She took my hand and sort of pulled me as she picked up the pace.

"Seriously, just two seconds. If you..."

Em turned and unleashed on the guy.

"Look, I don't know how you behave normally, but I'm out in public trying to talk to a friend. If you're a fan, you have the PO Box. Send something there. Just... What the hell is wrong with you people? Is being respectful too much to ask? There's a reason I haven't done an appearance in years, but that's not good enough for you, is it?"

Appearance? What the hell was she talking about? The guy looked as confused as I was.

"I, uh, I was talking to Fingers. But, yeah, sorry lady. Are you somebody?"

She turned beet red. "No... I... No, sorry. That was totally uncool. I... Fuck." She turned to me. "Alex?"

"Yeah, sure." I put my arm over the guy's shoulder and he took a quick selfie with his tongue hanging out and fingers sporting the horns.

"You're the best, man! You keep in touch with the guys?"

"No, not really. Once in a while. Christmas card stuff. I appreciate your listening. I'm sure they do as well. The fans are everything."

"You working on anything new? I follow all your session work."

"Uh, no, not really, but again, thanks. Really kind. Listen, we were heading out to dinner. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Okay, sure. Thanks, man. Made my week."

"No problem. Have a good one."

He turned to Em. "He's the best!"

She raised her eyebrows. "Apparently so."

He pumped his fist and started making a call as he walked away. Em looked at me as we continued towards the exit.

"So, want to explain what the hell that was?"

"I was going to say the same thing. Appearances?"

"You first. Who are the guys? How did he know you?"

I sighed. "Okay, so... Yeah, this was another lifetime ago. I was one of the founding members of Death Knight. I left after we recorded our third album but before it was released. I sort of still do some session work."

"The metal group? Are you shitting me?"

"Uhm, no. But that's not me anymore."

"Seriously? No lie, you were in one of the most famous bands in the world? And you're here living in Pueblo?"

"Yeah. Let's... Let's not make this a thing, okay?"

She paused for a minute. "Any other secrets? Are you also part of Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young and Franzetti? Got anything on Broadway? Have a few Grammys in your back pocket?"

"Uhm, no on the first two."

She sounded almost pissed. "You've got to be kidding. You have a Grammy?"

"Well, no. More than one."

"Alex... How many fucking Grammys do you have?"

"Two for Death Knight, nine for songs I've written with Bryn."

"Who... Nine? You have nine Grammys? You... What the living fuck? No one says anything to me? Does Jimmy know who you are? What am I saying, of course he knows who you are. And he never said anything to me."

"Not his fault. I asked him not to."

"Why? So you could play some sort of game of not letting the stupid local chick know she was dealing with some rock legend? Was it fun? Did the two of you have a good laugh behind my back?"

I was starting to get pissed. "It's not like that. At all. I left the band because... Look, some things happened. I... I had to get out of that life. It fucked everything up. It's not me anymore and I haven't been that guy in decades. I'd give up absolutely everything if I could redo my life and never have joined that fucking band, okay? You have no fucking clue what that cost me, so yeah, now I stay in the studio and work on songs for other people. You have a problem with that, it's on you."