Chapter 97

"Ok, that's close. So, three billion men. Now if we divide them by age and we figure they range from birth to eighty, and we figure there about the same number of men in each age that would be 37,500,000 of any one age. How old a man do you want?"

"Somewhere between twenty-eight and forty."

"So, if we do the math you want a man between twenty-eight and forty. That's a twelve year range. Twelve years times 37,500,000 is 450,000,000."

"But, most of them are married!" She protested.

"Right! Lets say 75% are married and 8% are gay, in prison, mentally unfit, or terminally ugly. That's 88% of the 450 million men are disqualified. That still leaves 54 million men available for you to have a relationship with. So, let me understand this, there are 54 million men available for you to be in relationship with and you stand up in a room with four hundred people in it and tell me you cannot find anyone?"

"No. I've been single forever and I haven't found him."

"Ok. Obviously the big math isn't working for you. Lets do this: If you are a man between twenty-eight and forty stand up." Over a hundred men stood up.

"If you are in a relationship that you believe will soon lead to being married, sit down. If you are married, sit down." Very few men sat down.

"So, do you have something in you that says, he has to be three inches or more taller than me?"

"I'd like that, yes."

"How tall are you?"

"Five feet five."

"Gentlemen, if you are shorter than five eight, sit down." Fifteen men sat down. There were still over a hundred men standing.

"Any other deal breaker qualifications?"

"He must have a good job."

"You heard her. If you don't have a good job then please sit down." A few more sat down.

"Look around the room. There are nearly a hundred men in the room who say they want to be in a relationship. They meet your qualifications." Alan paused while she looked.

"Gentlemen, I'm making this offer to you. Look at her. If you would be willing to take a risk and go out to dinner with this woman, who is twenty-seven years old, has a good job, is five feet five and looks like... well you can see how she looks, then stay standing. Otherwise, sit down." Thirty men sat down.

"You want to be in a relationship? Pick one. Make room for her to get out of her row. Walk up to any man standing in the room and know that he is willing to go to dinner with you, willing to have a conversation of possibility with you about creating an US from two people who were complaining about not being in relationship." She was walking around the room, looking and not choosing.

"Stop. Why didn't you pick this one?" Alan pointed to a man she had just walked by. "Don't answer! I know the answer. You didn't pick anyone because you are so invested in being alone and embracing aloneness as a complaint that none of these men are good enough."

"No! I want..."

"Will you go to dinner with him?"

"I guess so." The man sat down.

"Please Sir, stand back up." Alan walked to him. "You sat down. You stood up saying you were willing. How tall are you?"

"Six foot."

"Job?"

"I have my own CPA firm."

"You like how she looks?" He nodded.

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-three."

"Alan turned to the woman and said, "He sat down because you weren't really looking for a relationship. You didn't pick him because you want to look at every single man in the 54 million men to make sure you get the best one. I do not want to go with you to the strawberry festival. You won't get any strawberries because you will be afraid if you pick one it won't be the best one." Alan paused.

"Thank you Sir for our conversation." The man sat back down. Alan turned back to the woman.

"Here's a truth, a lesson for all of you. Sue, will you please stand up?" Sue stood up. "Of the 54 million women available when I was going to meetings like this do you think Sue was the perfect woman for me? That no other woman could have been as good for my life as Sue? Don't be nuts! Sue was inside the box where all the appropriate women live. What makes her the woman for me is that we choose to make that so. I love Sue with all my heart. I decided to love her. Sue do you love me?"

"With all my heart."

"Did you fall in love with me?"