57
CHAPTER FIFTY SEVEN
GABRIELLE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stared at Derek blankly as he led us towards the door, different thoughts were running through my mind, each leaving me even more confused than the last.
Here was Derek who has only ever loved me, Lucian on the other hand had caused me much pain and there was no guarantee that he would change, that he would get to love me in a normal way.
It should have been very easy to make a decision, if I walked out this door with Derek, then I probably would never see Lucian ever again, I wouldn't have to live in the constant fear that he would suddenly snap and hurt me. Despite knowing all these, my chest still felt too stuffy, my stomach was cramped with unease.
I felt as though I was betraying Lucian, I would be hurting him. I couldn't imagine how upset he would be, what if he abuses himself again? And what about me? Would I be able to go on with my life as though Lucian hadn't happened? I already knew the answer to that. Somehow, Lucian has already ruined me for everyone but himself, that was why I was feeling reluctant to leave.
He was a monster and could be beyond reasoning most times, then why do I still want to stay?
Could it be that I was a masochist who enjoys being hurt over and over again? He was toxic but I still find myself slowly falling for him.
It wasn't supposed to be like this, but I couldn't fight off this surge of feelings that threatened to suffocate me from the inside.
And the world would term me foolish for the decision I've come to. Whether I would regret it did not matter at this moment.
Just as Derek started to reach for the door handle, I suddenly tugged my hand free. He turned to face me, the questions burning in his eyes were clear, he was asking me why.
Inhaling deeply, I met his gaze, feeling a pinch of guilt strike at my heart.
"I'm sorry, I can't leave with you Derek, I'm really sorry, I just..." I trailed off not knowing what else to say, nothing would best explain the fact that I was abandoning him when he had risked his life to come here in other to save me from the man who had separated us, the same very person whom I now found myself drowning faster and deeper into his tainted desires.
"Why can't you? you want things to return as before right? You still love me right?" He searched my gaze as he spoke.
I kept silent to that, I couldn't give him the answer I knew he was searching for.
"Things can't return as there were, you are still the same but I already changed so much and it's not something you can fix. You can find your way out exactly how you got in." I said, averting my gaze from his. I didn't want to see the hurt look in his eyes, it made me feel even more guilt towards him.
"What's wrong with you Gabrielle!?" He shook my shoulders harshly as though I had lost my senses.
Well, maybe I had.
"It was hard enough to get in here to meet you, you don't have to be scared, I already said that I won't lose you to him a second time, I don't care how you've changed, we can sort that later"
"You don't understand!"
He lets out a sigh of frustration at my words.
"Then make me understand why you are hesitating? Is it that you still blame me for everything?" He spoke.
Faint sounds of footsteps reached my ears, it started to grow louder and I had no doubt that whoever it was was storming his way up here.
Was it Lucian?
My heart jumped with anxiety and apprehension, in as much as I didn't want to leave with Derek, it didn't mean that I want him hurt. If Lucian finds him here...it wouldn't be good. I snapped my gaze to Derek's, he seemed to have heard the sound too.
"I never said that I blame you, Listen, you just need to leave, no one can find you here!"
"Not until you make me understand! I'm not leaving you!" Now, he sounded both angry hurt, and frustrated. The louder the footsteps sounded, the faster my heart rate became, my knees turned weak when my name was shouted aloud.
Oh god, it was Lucian. And he sounded even closer than I thought. I shoved Derek's shoulders roughly, why didn't he understand the danger he was in?
"Why don't you get it! You need to leave! He's going to kill you! " I whispered harshly, when he still didn't leave, I knew that I had to make him.
"Since you want to know, then I'll tell you. I can't leave with you because I no longer love you, Derek, what we had was all in the past, it became over the moment I got married, and now I...I love Lucian and I want to stay with him, do you get it now?" I hissed harshly, glaring at him.
He was staring at me in anger and disbelief.
"I know you don't mean those words, you are just trying to make me leave, I can see very well in your eyes that you are scared, and I promise that you won't have to be, not anymore, because I'm about to put an end to this!"
My eyes widened when he pulled out something from the inside of his jacket. A gun.
"Brie, are you in there?" I heard Lucian's voice just before the door started to be pushed open.
Derek's finger clenched around the trigger as he aimed at the door.
"The moment he gets in here, I'm going to kill that motherfucker! Even if it's the fucking last thing I do before I die!" He whispered to my ears.
I stared at him in shock and horror, if Lucian enters at this moment...he was going to die.
Panic made me react instantly, I gripped Derek's arm tightly.
"No, you will not! Listen..." Just then the door was kicked open.
"Lucian Noo...!!" I screamed, but it was too late, a shot already rang out.
*
*
