Chapter 31 Better vs Best

It had been a week since Jonathan and Stefani returned safely to the city. The Chief Operations Officer was staring at the wide overlooking sight of the city through his office. The sun was up yet he couldn't feel any warmth in his body.

Somehow, Jonathan knew. Somehow, Jonathan had expected it already. Because deep inside, Jonathan knew he failed and he had to accept the consequences.

Jonathan breathed in and out, trying to calm himself as he slowly recalled his conversation with Mr. Hernandez a few days after they had returned.

"Jonathan, I know how much you've worked so hard for this company for the past years," Mr. Hernandez began. "And I know you've also done everything you could to... to tame my daughter."

Jonathan was silent as he just listened to his second father figure.

Mr. Hernandez looked down as he uttered, "I didn't expect things to go this far, Jonathan-ah. Stefani... To think Stefani went as far as to run away from home because of the engagement..."

Jonathan dug his fingers inside his palm so hard it began to hurt.

"My daughter Stefani... I think she can't really accept the idea of marrying you. Maybe... you're just not the right person for my daughter... It’s my fault. Everything is my fault. I did all of these plans and decisions without considering your and Stefani's feelings. I'm... I'm the one at fault."

Jonathan looked straight at Mr. Hernandez, "It's not your fault, Mr. Hernandez. You were only thinking what's best for your daughter. This, I understand without ill thoughts."

Mr. Hernandez smiled bitterly, "But I failed to consider your feelings and her feelings."

Jonathan looked down and fell quiet for a while before finally uttering the words he knew were the ones he'd been keeping inside his heart the whole time.

"That's not exactly true at all, Mr. Hernandez," Jonathan's eyes looked straight to Mr. Hernandez's, unwavering. "Because I... I love your daughter. I love Stefani and I want to marry her."

Mr. Hernandez paused and looked over Jonathan.

The two men fell silent as they talked through their eyes. Mr. Hernandez felt confused, not knowing what to do next now as he saw the sincerity and determination in Jonathan's eyes. He didn't know Jonathan loved his daughter. When did it happen? And how?

Before Mr. Hernandez could say anything, Jonathan spoke again.

"That's why... Please let me improve, Mr. Hernandez," Jonathan said. And to Mr. Hernandez's surprise, Jonathan bowed, "Please give me more time. Allow me to improve and be a better man. Please let me work harder and be better. Please let me be worthy of your daughter. Please let me be the right person to stand next to Stefani."

For Jonathan, it didn't matter how long it would be and what struggles he would face in the future. At this time, Jonathan only knew one thing and that was to have Stefani accept him and love him back. And if he wanted that to happen, Jonathan needed to be better. He wasn't enough right now so he must improve. Improve and improve until he can finally be accepted by Stefani. Wasn't it also the reason why he went to study abroad? How could Jonathan deny the fact that the main reason he went to pursue his studies abroad was to be worthy of Stefani?

When he was a kid, Jonathan had learned that Stefani was from a different world and that Jonathan would never be able to reach her if he would not work hard enough. It was true that the adult world was a scary place and Jonathan knew he needed to be someone who could provide everything Stefani needed and wanted, and be able to protect Stefani at all costs if he wanted them to live a happy life. That was the whole reason why Jonathan went abroad. He wanted to be the perfect candidate in Stefani's eyes. He wanted Stefani to see him as the best man in the world. He wanted to prove to everyone he was worthy of being with Stefani.

But Stefani has been cold the entire years of Jonathan's stay abroad. She never once replied to Jonathan's letters and Jonathan's heart became lonelier and lonelier as years passed by it couldn't remember what warmth was anymore. Jonathan allowed it to happen. And in the process of making his sad heart numb, Jonathan forgot his main goal.

When work became his life and he felt as if everything was going well to his black and white routines, Stefani came back to his life and that was how it started again. At first, Jonathan denied the feelings he had for Stefani. But fate had its own plan. For each time Jonathan tried forgetting his love for Stefani, Stefani did crazy things that made Jonathan fall for her more. Then Jonathan realized, the feelings he had for Stefani were actually there the whole time. They did not go away nor disappear; they only slept for a very long, lonely time.

"Sir, the car is ready," Ari, Jonathan's secretary, stated.

When Jonathan pleaded for more time, Mr. Hernandez mentioned their Japan branch. It was said that the branch there was currently having problems and they needed someone to help. Jonathan didn't know how long it would be this time to fix the problems but Jonathan already decided to go there himself.

"Your passport and luggage are inside the car. I've also checked your emails and replied to them as you instructed... Sir? Sir?" Ari called her boss again. Lately, she had been catching her boss looking from afar with a lonely pair of eyes. It was sad for Ari, she hoped someday, her boss would open his heart to her too.

"Okay," Jonathan said, finally, as he began to move.

His office was empty now, ready to be occupied by a new COO. Jonathan looked around his office for the last time and silently walked out of it.

Inside the car, Jonathan contemplated whether to call Stefani or not. Could he at least listen to Stefani's voice before he leaves the country? After all, Japan was miles and miles away. He pondered for minutes then decided not to. If he did that, Jonathan would miss the younger more. And Jonathan... Jonathan would be too weak to resist and see Stefani for the last time.

So instead of calling Stefani, Jonathan silently, strongly, kept his feelings to himself, and just thought of the one goal in his mindーbe the best man for Stefani.