Chapter 34 Hate vs Something Else

Stefani's mind was a mess. Her body felt so cold she was shaking too much as she reached her father's study. Just then, she heard the voice of Jane from inside.

"I remember, there was a time when we were kids, Stefani told me Jonathan told her he's gonna marry her someday," Jane said, voice a lot sadder than her usual relaxed and neutral voice. "But too bad, Jonathan has a fever that time. And Jonathan always forgets what he does before he faints when he has a high fever. The doctor gave medications but they say it's kind of a psychological condition so they can't do anything about it. But Jonathan... My brother Jonathan, aside from those times of his fever, he has never once forgotten Stefani."

Jane gave out a sad smile before she continued, "When we were in Australia, he'd write letters for Stefani and wait for her response even if he knew it was hopeless. He would compose poems for Stefani even if he's not a romantic person. He would tell me stories about Stefani every night before we sleep. He would always stare outside when it's winter because he said Stefani loves snow. He studied martial arts because he said he wanted to be someone capable of protecting Stefani in the future."

"Jonathan... has worked harder than anyone else and it was all for Stefani. Actually, if not for Stefani, I don't think he'll ever come back to this country," Jane laughed softly.

What? What was Jane saying? Stefani couldn't understand. Jonathan left her. Jonathan abandoned her! Jonathan was the first one to forget about his promise!

"Y-You're kidding, right, big sister?" Stefani asked with a small trembling voice.

Mr. Hernandez and Jane were surprised to see Stefani standing by the door.

"There's no way... I-I mean... that monkey, that monkey left me, he forgot all his promises, big sister! He left me alone!" Stefani's tears began to fall.

"Stefani..." Mr. Hernandez and Jane called out.

Stefani stared at the two people before her, "No... that can't be it. That person doesn't care about me... He left me... he did not keep his promise. He hates me.. he hates me.."

Jane took a deep breath before softly speaking, "Stefani, Jonathan treasures you the most in this world. He doesn't hate you, Stefani. He never once did."

Stefani's eyes wavered as they cast down the floor. "No... There's no way..."

Jonathan had been doing everything for Stefani since the beginning. But Stefani... Stefani thought differently. Stefani thought Jonathan left her because he had enough of taking care of the young miss Stefani. Stefani assumed Jonathan hated her. Stefani was abandoned. Stefani was forgotten.

But Stefani was wrong. She has been, all this time.

Jonathan... Jonathan has been caring for her all this time, making her see his worth, making her special in every way he could. And Jonathan, Jonathan was leaving. Again.

Stefani's lips began to tremble as she looked up helplessly. Immediately, Jane was the first to take action as she called Pacholo, Stefani's bodyguard, and headed out of the mansion. Without looking back at Mr. Hernandez, Jane pushed Stefani inside the car.

"His flight is in two hours. You can still stop him, Nini," Jane said as she then instructed Pacholo what to do next.

Stefani stared blankly at Jane while feeling the tears on her cheek dried up as they drove their way to the airport. She couldn't think straight. She didn't know what to feel. She didn't know what to do. But she was sure of one thing.

She couldn’t let Jonathan go, not again.

"Young Miss!" Pacholo called out as he watched Stefani jump out of the car and sprinted inside the moment they reached the airport.

Stefani's heart was banging so loud against her chest as she looked around the vicinity, trying so hard to look for one person. Jonathan was leaving. He was leaving Stefani again. Stefani was being abandoned by the same person again!

She couldn't help but cry as she looked around, desperately searching for Jonathan, the man she hates so much in the entire whole world. How can Jonathan do this to her? How dare that person make her miserable the second time? How dare he make Stefani feel so helpless and powerless?

"Stefani?"

As if she were in a movie, Stefani's heartbeat stopped. Everything around her became a blur. Slowly, she turned around and there, she found, the source of her mind, body, and soul's anxiety.

"Stefani..." Jonathan was too surprised to see the younger all of a sudden. What more, Stefani looked like she was molested by someone with her red eyes, wrinkled clothes, and messy hair.

"Don't come near me!" Stefani said when Jonathan took a step towards her. They were about five feet apart and Stefani's heart was hurting, hurting too much as she looked at the man in front of her.

Still, Stefani bravely collected herself and held it in, "You... You said I talk too much. That's why you kissed me... That was the first time you kissed me... But who cares if I talk too much? I'm going to say everything I want and you will listen to every word I say!"

"When we were kids," Stefani began, "You promised you will never leave me alone and that you're going to marry me when we grow up. You said you're going to make me warm every winter and I believed you. I believed in you, I really did. But then... you left." Stefani's voice cracked, her body trembling as she looked down the floor, remembering the pain she had felt years and years ago. "...Do you know how much it hurt me?"

Jonathan took another step but Stefani shouted once again, "I said don't come near me!" Then she shot a glare at Jonathan, face full of bitterness as she continued.

"Then you came back and treated me as if I was just an ordinary person to you. I was so mad. So mad I began to hate you so much more. Do you know how much it hurt me? I hate how you always forget important things. I hate how you easily forgot our first kiss. I hate how you forgot the promise you told me when we were kids. I hate that you're just always following the orders of my dad and not yourself. I hate that you're letting yourself be controlled all the time. I hate... I hate that my father had to force you to marry me and that you agreed to it not because you want it but because it was my dad's order."

"I hate you. I hate you for doing gentle things to me and changing my views about you slowly. I hate you for kissing me as if you're attracted to me. I hate you for protecting me and even risking your life for me. I hate you for caring about me all the time and treating me as if I'm someone special to you. I hate you for giving me so many good memories I started to forget all the loneliness I felt when you left. I hate you. I hate you so much."

"That's why, I will continue hating you. And I don't care if you hate me too. I know you hate me for being a selfish immature brat but I don't care about that anymore. Even if people around me see me as an immature brat, even if they say you only love me out of order and obligation. But if that means you'll stay with me, then I will continue being a brat. From now on, I will tell you everything you can and can't do. That's why... I'm telling you this now. You can't go anywhere without me. You're not allowed to leave without me. I'm not going to let you go. This is an order. You have to stay with me no matter what. I hate you but still, you're mine!!" Stefani shouted, voice full of bitterness and sadness as tears streamed down her face, feeling her heart hurt a thousand times deeper this time than the past years.