Goodbye
KAYSEN*
I opened my door to my mom rocking Cora in the rocking chair I had in my room. Cora had her head rested on one of my dirty shirts that my mom had draped upon her chest.
Cora was asleep, but I could see that she had been crying. I should have known better. Cora always wakes up around three on the nights that I work. Typically that's when I would get home; Cora would always want cuddles, and I'm two hours late getting home.
My mom looked pissed beyond words. I walked over and picked Cora up, and she woke up slightly.
"Mommy, you are home," Cora said as she nuzzled her head into my chest. Mom didn't say anything and walked out of my room, leaving the door open.
"Yes, baby, so sorry mommy is late getting home tonight. Mommy is off for the next two days, so I'll make it up to you," I said as I sat in the rocking chair and began rocking Cora again until she fell back asleep.
Looking down at Cora's sleeping form, I started to think my mom was right. I shouldn't be stripping or working in a strip club, period. I realized that I needed to quit.
I have more than enough money to get Cora and me a lovely two-bedroom apartment. It wouldn't be the house I wanted, but it would still be ours. I have enough money saved up to get us by for a year or more.
I'll call Hector tomorrow and tell him that I needed to go down to only two nights a week and put in my notice that I would be leaving within the month.
I got up and walked Cora to her room, and laid her down in her Princess toddler bed, and then made way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I returned, my mom sat in the rocking chair, waiting for me. Here we go again.
"I know you're insistent about staying at your job, but you need to quit. This is not good for Cora or you either, for that matter. I don't feel that this is what Michael would have wanted for you both," mom said in a whisper.
I took off my shorts and put my phone, keys, and wallet on my nightstand. I crawled into bed and laid down, and brought the cover to my chin.
"I know, momma, you're right; I have already decided that I would leave. Just give me a month, ok. I will talk to Hector tomorrow night about working two nights a week until I leave. He has treated me well, so I don't want to leave him hanging," I said as I yawned.
"What about the man you have gone home with the last two nights? Will that lead to anything? Will we get a chance to meet him?" My mom asked.
"I don't know, momma. He told me tonight he never wants to get married and doesn't want his own children. However, he seemed fine about me having Cora. I wanted us to be for one night, but he asked me if we could be more tonight. I don't know; I'm confused," I said.
"Honey, that is not the type of man you need to have around Cora. You need a man who will love you and take care of you both," mom said.
"Momma, I don't need a man to take care of us. I can do fine on my own. I have one year of classes left, and then I'll be able to start my own business and work from home until Cora starts school," I said.
"I know you think that you have everything all figured out, but it's not that easy, especially with the field you are going into. You're biting off more than you can chew, Kaysen," my mom said.
"Michael owned his own business and was successful at being a publisher and editor, but that doesn't mean that you will be able to do the same, Kaysen," she said as she put her hands through my hair.
"I'll be fine, momma; I'm so tired it was a long night. Would you mind if we talk later? I need some sleep," I said as I yawned and buried myself into my bed further.
My mom turned off the lamp next to my bed. "I love you, Kaysen. I only want what's best for you and Cora," she said as she turned to walk away.
"I know, momma, I love you too," I said and breathed in the musky scent of Tanner's shirt.
I don't know what I'm getting myself into. I haven't reached Tanner's number; I only know where he lives, and I don't even know his last name. What's going to happen when I quit my job? I'm sure he'll love the fact that I wouldn't be showing off my body anymore.
It means, though, that we wouldn't be able to have any more wild nights like we have had the last two nights. My mom is right; as always, he isn't the type of man I should have around Cora; but I like him a lot. Michael, why did you have to leave me? I thought as I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
TANNER*
I had another fantastic night of sleep, no dreams, and didn't wake up once. Now that I can think more clearly, I knew I needed to let Kaysen go. She deserves so much better than me. I knew that I needed to stop this before things got too serious.
I should have left last night and not stayed to wait for Kaysen, but I had to feed my Kaysen addiction. I can't seem to get enough of her. One night has turned into two, and there doesn't need to be anymore.
There's one problem I don't have her number or anything. I know where she works, and that's about it.
I needed to get away from here for a little while, so I'm headed to Blaze's house. I'm going to talk to him about taking some much-needed time off. None of us have ever gone on vacation.
***
I'm seated in Blaze's armchair, starring down at my new baby niece. That I would be leaving for a month or so. I'm hoping to go to the coast and check out the land and see if it was an excellent place to expand.
I can't be here; I'll end up getting in deep with Kaysen, and that can't happen.
"What's up? Why are you here before nine o'clock on a Sunday? You know we're rushing around to get ready for church?" Blaze asked me as he sat down on the couch.
" I know I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving for a while. I'm not sure when I will return. I need to get away from here before going off the deep end. I'm going to the coast to see if it would be a good place to expand the business. I can work from the motel room; I can't be here anymore, though. I need a change in scenery," I said as I smiled at my two-month-old niece Bethany as she yawned and closed her eyes.
"This is unexpected and incredibly last minute, but if you promise to do office work, I'm ok with it. I think it might be good for you to get away for a little while. It probably needed to happen a long time ago. Now let me have Bethany so I can get her changed and ready for church," Blaze said as he took Bethany from me.
"Yeah, I better sneak out before Christopher and Adelaide realize I'm here, or you guys will never be able to leave," I said, and Blaze chuckled.
"Well, I got them ready and fed an hour ago. They are early risers like me. I try to let Lyra sleep in as long as I can. Bethany normally sleeps in as Lyra does, but she woke up early this morning. It has been crazy. You can go stick your head in the playroom and say hi if you would like," Blaze said.
"Sure, thank you, it would be nice to see them before I leave," I said as I made my way to the playroom.
"Jace and Vega will be here for lunch after church. If you would like to come back or come to church with us, it would be good for you.
" Uh, that's a no for me; I'm surprised Jace goes and you for that matter; it's not my scene, but thanks for asking. I'll come back for lunch, though," I said.
***
I called Connor to get Hector's number to receive Kaysen's number; I'm about to call her now. He said she was off for the next two nights.
Kaysen didn't answer, so I left her a message.
"Hey, it's me, Tanner. I got your number from Hector. Don't be pissed. I had some things come up at work. I will be leaving for a while. I think it's for the best that we don't see each other anymore. You deserve the world, and I can't give that to you. I know that I will be gone for at least a month, so don't wait for me, move on, ok. Take care, Kaysen," I said and pressed #.
I called her from the landline in my room so that she wouldn't have my cell number. That's pretty shady, but it's for the best.
I'll be flying out early in the morning, and I can't wait to get out of here.
Writer's Note
Wake up, Tanner; you're missing out on something good. Feel free toπHugs and Love Sapphirian J.π₯°
