27 ~ The Lost Hope

Ryan POV

I couldn't sleep the whole night. My eyes noticed the glowing beauty beside me who was sunk in her sweat as the drug was doing its work, while I gave her sleeping drug which made her body numb leading to neglect the effect of Velina.

Though, I was able to affect Velina but what I could do with the effect she was having on me. Why the hell I couldn't stop myself last night. We kissed, WE DAMN KISSED!

It was forbidden for me. She was a human and there was no chance that she could be my mate. Moon goddess clearly mentioned that My mate would be someone whose generation was never touched by me or my pack and as much I remember, We have tried our hands on all creatures.

I looked at my hands, there were no powers, no sensations but an increased weakness and downfall in the morale of me. I was lost, I had lost the chance of becoming a werewolf again. I kissed the wrong one. Why the hell I couldn't stop myself.

A wave of immense regret was running down my body when the strong breathtake of her distracted me.

"Ryan,"

She moaned in her sleep and I quickly forwarded my hand to pat her head. I didn't know what was happening to me. Why I was feeling so much connected to her. Why were there so many feelings for her?

Suddenly, I noticed that she was wide awake and looking at me.

She blinked nervously, touching her head and I asked.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded silently and asked in her tired voice.

"Are you crying? What happened?"

"Nothing,"

I smiled weakly.

She tries to sit up covering her with the comforter and pressing her fingers on the forehead.

"It's hurting,"

She cried in pain.

"Ofcourse, you high on sex yesternight,"

Her eyes came out of socket all of sudden and looked at me.

"Se...sex?"

She asked hesitantly.

"Ofcourse, do you remember what you had yesterday?"

I scolded.

She shut her eyes close, trying to remember and then said.

"Velina… I had two glasses of it...th...then I came here, and then we…"

She stopped for sometime and looked at the bed with big eyes.

"We did it?"

I stayed silent.

Her eyes turned teary and I said.

"You should go to your room,"

A tear slipped her eyes and I walked away from there.

I excused myself to the bathing room. I was slightly disturbed with whatever happened.

I had lost my powers forever. Atleast, before I had a hope that I would get them back but now, there was no hope and nothing.

I didn't know how I gave in so easily. I thought I would make her fall in love with me so that I could ask her to learn the magic and treat me. And there I was, lost myself in the battle.

I stepped inside the pool and let the cold water cover my body. The visions of the moon goddess cursing, the battle we have ahead, all the things were scaring me.

Also, how I was going to reveal to my pack that their Alpha was now incurable. That their Alpha has lost his powers and the only hope.

I stayed breathless for sometime as I could see the loss everywhere.

What would happen now? Honestly, I was scared now.

"Ryan,"

Suddenly Cassandra's voice caught my attention from behind the doors.

I didn't answer anything and she finished.

"I am leaving,"

I stayed silent as I was really angry with myself. What kind of Alpha King I was who lost control on a girl.

I came out of the water and struggled for breath.

How would I win the war now?

I was lost.

These few words and the visuals of last night's were blurring my vision again and again when I was busy spending time in the water.

I came out after sometime as I had to meet Lucas and other pack members for the discussions of the war.

I quickly got ready, although my heart was broken and aching insanely. I didn't know how I was going to protect my people and Kingdom.

Changing into the fresh pair of black outfit. I asked for the breakfast. Although, I was not into the mood of eating but routine was routine.

Having a small meal, I left for the courtroom.

Entering it, I settled on the throne while other people settled on their designated couches.

The law head announced the initiation of the meeting with the door closed and Lucas stood up.

"Ryan, I have an idea,"

"Tell us,"

I stated.

"I think, it's high time we include women in the war,"

"You can't be serious, Lucas,"

"I am Ryan," he stated and continued.

"We have equal strength of women to men. Mostly of them are werewolves and if they are trained well and given opportunity. It can become the turning point,"

"But, how can we take such a huge risk? Our women are good in administration and takes good charge in running the pack,"

I brought out my point.

"I know that, but this is the best we can do now. The war is close and we have to make quick decisions. I have already started their training,"

Lucas stated.

I nodded looking at him. No doubt, he was a sensible person and the thing which he was saying seemed right to me too. But, if women would go to war. What would happen to the children?

"Also, only the werewolves will take part in the war. Other can take care of the rest of the things,"

Lucas finished.

But, before I could say anything there was a loud knock on the door.

I thinned my eyebrows and everyone took their positions.

The intensity of the knock increased and I asked.

"Open the door,"