16

Tino's POV

I huffed in annoyance as I threw off another set of clothes. Why did none of my clothes fit right? The door opened and Vin walked in with a giant smile on his face and fully dressed. He was wearing black jeans and a white button-up. I hated that he always looked so nice.

"Why are you still naked, Valentine?" His eyes went wide as he looked at me. I was still in my boxers and socks. The only things that seem to be working on my body.

"I can't find anything."

"It's probably because you have a shit taste in clothes." He smirked, walked to my drawers, and started pulling items out I didn't even know I had. He threw a pair of light wash, fitted jeans my way. And a loose olive green T-shirt.

I threw the clothes and some shoes and the rest of my jewelry.

"Are you nervous?" He asked me with a smirk.

"Shut up." I scoffed. "I take it you and Kona made up. You're in a good mood."

"Yeah, kind of. Still got some things to work out but, things are good. And can only get better." He smiled, his eyes staring off into space. I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. There was a small part of me that wanted to forget everything and throw in the towel. But I couldn't. There was too much at stake if I did.

"Where are we even going?" I asked him, trying to change the subject.

"A diner."

I stared at him, my face full of annoyance. I hated when he did short and cryptic answers like that. Or when anyone did. I mumbled whatever and finished getting ready. Not up for a conversation with him anymore. I grabbed my phone and keys and walked out, Vin close behind.

"Uhh, are you following me?" I asked him.

"Yeah stupid, I'm riding with you." Vin walked to the car passenger door and hopped in. I turned back to the house and I saw Vic looking out the window at us. But she pulled away once she noticed I saw her.

"We need to do something for Victoria," I said as I got in and started driving.

She had been avoiding us ever since the incident. And I hated it. I had grown so close to her that even after one day of not speaking it felt like an eternity.

"Yeah, we do. Maybe we can take her out this week? Before our passing ceremony?"

Oh shit. Our passing. It's next month. I would officially be the alpha, and Vin will be the Beta. We had maybe two weeks left until we had to start preparing for the ceremony. I nodded in agreement and we drove the rest of the way in silence. We were both nervous. Both were anxious for what was to come. Could I even have a real conversation with him? Without feeling anger or resentment? I guess we will find out.

We pulled up to a diner and from the looks of it, we were the last ones to make it. I saw through the window that Q and Jonah were already there chatting with Koa and Kona. I took a deep breath and jumped out of the car and walked in.

It was a quaint place, there were very few booths, but the ones that were there were filled. Mainly with families a couple of groups of people closer to Victoria's age. We walked to the booth and all of us were on us.

"Finally! You guys need to work on your timeliness." Jonah spoke, as he stood to hug Vin. Jonah was a cool guy and he treated Q with nothing but respect and loved him. Though I hated how Jonah looked more like Vin than I did. Both had dark blonde hair and similar color skin.

Q gave me a soft smile as he stood and let me slide into their side of the booth. My eyes immediately met Koa's and he had a soft smile on his face. He looked breathtaking. But he always did. And I don't think I would ever get used to it.

"Hey," I said softly grabbing a menu and looking over the options.

Vin sat on his side of the booth at the end sitting next to Kona and they started chatting away. He had a soft blush on her cheeks, as did Kona.

"How was your day?" Koa asked. For a moment he looked quiet...uncertain. But then he went back to his cool calm demeanor. The one I hated. I could never tell what he was feeling. But I sure as hell wasn't going to ask.

"My day is cool. I did some pack work." My answer was short and bland. Q must have heard it because he nudged me in my side to keep talking. I groaned in annoyance and rolled my eyes. "Yeah I mean, my dad has been passing off his pack work to me slowly. So I can be ready and know everything for the passing ceremony."

"Oh? That time has come already?" He perked up a bit at that.

"Yeah, in a few weeks, I will be alpha. Which is so weird to me if I am being honest." I told him truthfully.

"Why? Do you feel as though you are not prepared?"

There it is. His proper English. I was wondering when that was going to pop out and show itself. Still the same old Koa.

Though...

I guess in the grand scheme of things I don't know anything about him.

"No, I feel prepared. I just-- I don't know. I'm young." I kept my eyes low, focusing on the menu.

"Yes, you are. But from what I have seen, you have matured greatly. Even in you thinking you are not ready. Admitting our weakness, already makes you a great Alpha."

I tried to fight the fact that his words meant so much to me. So much to Zay. Even though he would never admit it, and he isn't speaking to me. Since he is a wolf and he was born to be in this role, we both were feeling insecure. It just felt too soon.

"Thanks," I mumbled and cleared my throat. I flicked my eyes up to look at him and of course, he was already looking at me. His lips curled up softly on the sides. Was this a smile? It caused my heart to flutter in my chest and I went back to looking at the menu.

Our waiter came over and he looked about 5'6. Had short brown hair, and round glasses that covered his face. And the only reason I mention that is because his eyes were GLUED to Koa.

"What can I get you to eat?" A giant smile spread on his face as he looked at Koa.

But that's not what made me almost go bonkers. Koa smiled back.

It was almost like I was transported back to Bobby's. Standing feet away as I watched him interact with another man, while not fulfilling the promises he gave to me. But this time was different. I couldn't react. And I wouldn't. I made my bed. Now I have to lay in it.

Q looked over at me and gave me a knowing look. But that just made it worse. I didn't need him to feel sorry for me. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I was fine.

"Yeah, could I get a double cheeseburger, onion rings, and a strawberry shake?" I have never seen Koa so casual before. So...comfortable.

"Anything for you." The guy said with a wink and a smirk. "I'll even throw in a cookie. Oatmeal raisin?"

Koa looked shocked at the question, but it made his smile only get bigger. "Yeah, how could you tell?" Yeah, how could he tell? Why couldn't I tell? Also oatmeal raisin? Gross.

"I'm good a reading people." Koa gave an approving nod as the waiter went and took the rest of our orders.

I had a million questions run through my mind watching him interact with this guy who was flirting with him. Why hadn't he done that with me? Did I force him to act a certain way around me? Was he not comfortable enough around me to be himself?

"What about you?" The guy asked pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked at him as he waited patiently. My eyes flickered to the menu, and now everything on there looked extremely unappetizing. My hunger is now gone.

"I'm okay. I don't want anything. I'm not hungry." My voice was low as I closed the menu and handed it back to the waiter. My brother's eyes went wide at that, and so did Q's.

"Well, this is a first." Vin scoffed.

"What do you mean?" Kona asked.

"Tino always eats. In all my years I have never heard this guy says he's not hungry." Vincent laughed at that, and I could feel Koa's eyes zoom in on me. Filled with concern.

"There's a first time for everything." I shrugged and crossed my arms and leaned back in the booth. I resisted the urge of getting up and running away. Going home to my room and being alone. The only way I can be safe.

The mates began talking to one another again. All wrapped up in their conversations.

'You said you were going to be his friend. So you have to act like his friend. Which means having a conversation.' Vin hissed out, annoyed at my silence.

That was one thing that changed about me when Koa left. I didn't talk much anymore. I found it hard to find words that explained how I felt. Also, I just found talking exhausting. But it's not like anyone listened to me anyways. All I know is that the last time I spoke and told him how I felt, he left. What if I did the same and he left again?

'Just ask him about his time away.' Vin suggested.

'His time away from me.'

"So...how was it overseas? What's it like over there?" I asked Koa once I caught his eyes. He looked surprised that I was talking to him. I hated that.

"It was interesting, to say the least. Quite a strange land, Switzerland is. The winter was a sight to be seen. The hills were blanketed in snow. Then the food was good, but nothing is better than a cheeseburger. We also saw the northern lights once. Such a beautiful sight."

I sat there in awe. My eyes are wide. I had never heard so many words flood out of this man's mouth before. I didn't think he knew this many words either. And he was nowhere close to done talking.

"Kona and I traveled through the land many times. Our favorite place was Zermatt. Such beautiful and crystal water. It reflected the mountains perfectly. I also took up skiing, though I was terrible. Kona caught on quickly. I think it's because of how big I am. Those adventures were mainly on the weekends or whenever Sloan gave us a break from practicing."

And though, part of me was happy to hear him not just speak, but talk to me. I couldn't help the sadness that filled me. His eyes were filled with light, a soft smile was on his face as he spoke about his time away.

Time away from me.

He seemed happy. He looked happy.

And yes, I was happy for him, but I was incredibly sad for him. How was it that he was able to find such enjoyment while we were separated? And I spent the first few months alone and crying in my bed? I was miserable. And truly, I still am. It's just numb now. Everything is numb now.

I can't remember the last time I truly smiled. The last time I laughed. The last time I was happy to wake up...

He must have noticed my change in demeanor as he finally looked at me and stopped his monologue.

"I'm sorry, I have been rambling." He chuckled nervously.

"No, you're fine. It sounds like you had a great time while you were away." Just in saying those words I could feel my eyes want to start tearing up. But I fought the urge. Nope. I will not cry. I don't cry.

"I supposed you can say that. I would call it more so pockets of fun if anything." I nodded at his response.

I don't know what I was expecting when he came back. It wasn't this. Maybe I was expecting him to put up more of a fight for me. Be more aggressive in his approach towards me. Or perhaps beg me to take him back. Anything but this. He was sitting here smiling, laughing. Like my absence was nothing to him.

"How about you? What has happened with you these past years?"

He shouldn't have asked that.

One thing I never wanted to do was lie. I wanted him to know always how I felt, how much anger and betrayal I feel.

But now...I have to lie. Because I knew he couldn't handle the truth.

The truth was my mate abandoned me.

The truth was before I met him I was the most confident person I knew. And now I am nothing but a shell of insecurities.

The truth was that I cried to the point where I could no longer breathe. That I am now numb to any feelings and emotions other than hurt and anger.

The truth IS that I am hurting still, mourning my mate that is now in front of me. As he talks about all the good things that happened while he was away from me. And now I am forced to forgive him and get over everything because he had a 'good reason' for leaving. And though it was a good reason, does it mean that it invalidates mine?

So no. I can't tell him the truth.

"Things were great. Truly. I graduated, go me. Then started training almost immediately after. I got super close with Victoria. We've gone on maybe two or three family trips. And that's a big deal because my dad rarely ever leaves the pack. But other than that. Things are...things." I forced a small smile on my face as I looked at him.

It was almost like he let out a breath of relief at what I said. Like he no longer had to feel guilty for leaving because I was okay.

Here I am again, sacrificing myself for the sake of others.

"That's wonderful to hear. I was--" He was cut off as the waiter set down the tray of food rather loudly I might add. And Koa drew his attention away from me and towards that boy.

He began to pass out the food, and once the smell of fried goodness hit my nose, I immediately regretted not ordering anything.

"Here is your cookie. And don't worry it's on the house." He winked at Koa again and walked away.

"Man I wish he would have flirted with me, then I could have gotten a free cookie," Jonah spoke up, slightly pouting.

"And if he had, he'd be dead." Q growled. Jonah leaned over and pulled him to his chest trying to calm his mate down.

"Flirting? No, he was just being nice." Koa scoffed and started digging in.

I pulled out my phone to try and occupy the time, and a unfamiliar number came across it.

'Hey, it's Genna.'

I texted back immediately.

'Hey! It's good to hear from you...'

'Yeah, you can't get rid of me now. Friends for life.'

'What are you doing in like an hour?'

Nerves flooded my body as I asked that. Was I a bad guy for asking her that, knowing my intentions weren't friendly? Knowing what she had said earlier and doing it across from my mate.

'Tino...I meant what I said earlier. I will talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.'

I sighed in defeat and leaned my head back on the booth. There goes my one good thing. My stomach growled immediately after and my cheeks flooded with embarrassment.

"Do you want some? I don't think I'm going to eat all of it anyways." Koa asked pushing his plate towards me. The onion rings were taunting me at this point. And I was too hungry to say no.

"Thanks."