Million reasons why I shouldn't and one why I should

Alpha Maximus POV

She is beautiful and perfect. I am a rugged Alpha. We do not live anywhere near one another. She has my brother's pack to run, and I will have to return home eventually. I do not deserve someone like her. She is too good for me. There are a million reasons why I cannot be with her and one why I should. She is my mate.

She told me I could give her peace, but can I? Can I offer her peace? Then what? Do I leave my pack and come here to be with her and help her rebuild everything here, or do I ask her to move and leave what little she has behind for me? Would I be that selfish of an asshole?

I have no idea how to handle this situation. No woman should get involved with me. I am poison. Kayla deserves so much more. She deserves a man like Soran was, and I am nothing like my brother. I have known all my life that I did not need a mate. It would be a disaster, just like it was with Nancy. I can still smell the fresh blood on her body. Her death was my fault. I have to tell Kayla the truth. The real reason I cannot be with her but until then, I will show her the kindness she deserves, and maybe she will find a way to reject me and open the door for another mate.

"Alpha," Kayla calls to me. I turn to see her standing on the front porch. Her hair is washed and braided. She has taken the time to dress herself, and she even applied makeup.

"Wow, you look beautiful," I say as she walks toward me.

"I am sure my long nightgown and knotted hair were not very appealing," Kayla jokes. She smiles and laughs. She is so beautiful when she smiles.

I touch her face. Maybe, perhaps, we could be friends. She is so perfect. "Are you okay, Alpha Maximus?" Kayla asks me.

I shake off the feeling to pick her up and take her into my arms. My wolf begins crying for her. I take a deep breath and try to regroup, but it is becoming hard to think with her right here in front of me and looking so perfect.

"I am starting to think you are more afraid of me than I am of you," Kayla says.

"I do not want to hurt you, Kayla," I say a little more sternly than I meant to, but my words do not seem to faze her as she moves closer to me.

"I feel like we are in a game of cat and mouse. I have no idea what we should do, but we cannot avoid the fact we are mates forever. We are both suffering," Kayla says.

"How about that breakfast?" I ask her, changing the subject.

"I believe Char has breakfast ready for us. It will just be the two of us. She has to go into town to do some shopping," Kayla says.

I will be alone with her. I hope I can control my wolf and my smart-ass mouth. I do not want to hurt her feelings or make her feel uncomfortable in any way.

The two of us go into the house. Char leaves as we go into the kitchen. "Just leave everything. Jan should be here by the time you are finished, and she will do the cleaning, Miss Kayla. I mean Luna Kayla, forgive me. Do not try to clean or do any of our work, and we will handle it; you just focus on getting better," Char says as Luna Kayla, and I take a seat at the table.

"Do not run away from me this time," I say as I sit across from her. She smiles at me, and her eyes seem to almost glow with her beautiful smile.

"I am afraid of being in love or having a mate," Luna Kayla says.

"We are going to focus on one thing at a time. First, your home, we have a lot of things to handle. You will be the Alpha of this pack, and it is important you understand your duties," I say.

She looks at me like an animal that has been cornered. "I did not realize I would have to be the Alpha of the pack," she says. She begins to breathe heavily and leans over.

I go to her and take her hand. "Everything will be fine. I have wonderful wolves coming to help you, and we will get you on track," I say.

She looks up at me with her beautiful eyes. "I am not an Alpha. I cannot lead the wolves. I only need a place to live and a pack to call home. Someone else can be the Alpha, not me," Kayla says.

"I had not thought this through. I am sorry. The land is yours, and the pack is yours, but maybe someone else can be in charge. I will figure it out for you, okay? Just eat something for me," I say to her.

I am so close to her that the heat from her body and mine are melting together, and the scent is heavenly. I want to kiss her and hold her and so much more. My body and my wolf want to take her to bed and make her ours, but I cannot touch her. I cannot be with her, and I cannot hurt her.

"Alpha," Kayla says so softly. I fight the urge, but I just cannot fight it anymore. I take her mouth, kissing her lips and pulling her to me with such force that our bodies collide, and I am on fire for her. I need to have her as mine. I need to be inside her and claim her. I want to mark her as my mate.

"Please stop," Kayla protests, but I do not let go; I push my tongue into her mouth and kiss her hard. I feel as if I need her; I want her. My wolf is going insane and needs her now. I touch her legs, and she screams. I let go of her, realizing I have royally fucked up as she runs away from me. I am poison. She deserves better than me.

She is screaming in the bedroom and crying. I sit at the breakfast table alone. I should not be here. I will leave when the wolves arrive. They can take over and help her get settled. I can take on this pack as mine and run it as Alpha from afar to protect her. It is the least I can do for her.

I could reject her, but she asked me not to reject her. Maybe when she is ready for someone else, then I can reject her, and she can move on with her life. I am so sorry, Luna Kayla. I did not want to hurt you. The mate pull between us is stronger than anything I have ever felt in my life. I have to get away from her.

I go out the front door and run toward the woods. I will run and hide until dark. That way, I will not be drawn to her or hurt her in any way. I am sorry, Kayla. I am so very sorry.

I shift, running through the woods, taking my wolf form, and letting everything go. No worries, no troubles, and no mate to try to force into something she does not want. I get to a clearing, and I begin to hear Luna Kayla. I listen to her crying. "I fucked up. I should not have run from him," she is saying. Her thoughts are in my head. I wonder if she hears mine.

I am sorry, I whisper. Her thoughts go silent. "Alpha," I hear her say.

"Come to me, please," I say.

"I am coming to you. I am sorry," she says. I wait for her in the clearing.

I look up to see the most majestic wolf standing before me. I run to her, and we look at one another. We begin to nuzzle one another.

"Accept me as your mate, Alpha, please," she says.

I take a step back from her. Should I? "Why do you want me?" I ask her.

"I can see everything in your mind. I know what happened to your girlfriend and how she died. We are both broken, and maybe we can heal one another. Take me as your mate," Luna Kayla says.

"I thought you never wanted to be touched by a man again?" I asked her.

"I am not ready yet, but if you will wait on me, then I will be ready to be touched again someday, and when I am, I want it to be you," she says.

I nuzzle close to her and close my eyes. "Kayla, I accept you as my mate," I say to her.

I open my eyes and see tears coming down from her eyes and sliding down her beautiful fur.

"No more tears, only joy from now on, Kayla," I say to her.

"How about a run?" she says and takes off in front of me.