46

When some streaks refuse to wash away, instead oozing more red out over his skin, I realise they are his own cuts and he is bleeding from multiple wounds.

Hurrying over and kneeling down in front of him, I try and press my fingers to the gashes before untying my scarf and holding it against the bigger wounds.

He winces at the pressure and turns aside, but I persist and get in his face. "Malachi, I need to stop—"

"No, just let it bleed."

"What? You're hurt, and until you heal—"

He shakes his head, pleading for me to fall silent. "Let me bleed. The pain is the only thing reminding me that I'm still human. That I'm not a monster."

Leaning back on my heels, the cold water seeping up into my slippers and making my legs shiver, I study my mate, at the pain etched into his features. The sun has just breached the horizon, piercing the darkened forest with its promise of light, and it strikes my mate's face and casts it in sharp relief. I see every freckle and fine line, every crease in his forehead, every tormented truth that must be clawing at his mind. But they are lies.

"No Malachi, it's not the only thing," I reach out and put my hand on his chest, over the glistening drops of water that run down his exposed skin. "Can you feel that?"

He places his hand over mine, but frowns, his eyes slowly rising to meet mine in confusion.

"Can you hear it? Your heartbeat?" I lean closer until I feel his soft breath on my face.

Malachi closes his eyes and presses my hand closer to his chest, concentrating with all his might until his heart syncs with mine. Unsteadily at first, but as mine slows, so does his. The rhythm takes over my senses until it overcomes even the early twittering of birds and quiet murmuring of flowing water.

"Yes. Yes, I can feel it."

"Good. Your heartbeat," I slid my other hand around his neck, drawing his head close so his forehead rests against mine. I need to make him see the truth of who he really is, even if I'm not sure I can believe it anymore. "You're not a monster, because monsters don't have heartbeats. Monsters and demons are cruel, cold-hearted, depraved souls. They murder for fun. They ruin innocent lives for no reason. And that's not you, Malachi. You are kind and gentle. Caring and unselfish. You care for this pack, I know. Everyday you are working to make them stronger, to protect them. You lead them with love, not hate. That's what makes you human. You're not a monster."

Malachi nods, his jaw clenching hard as a tear glistens in the corner of his eye. I can tell he is holding back, trying not to let the tears fall, so I gather him into my arms. Stroking his hair, I press my cheek to his and whisper, "It's going to be okay. We'll get through this together."

I feel him swallow before he pulls back. "I'm a killer. I'm the killer."

His voice is hoarse, and I feel my heart rise into my throat. "Archie?" I mumble, wanting to know this truth, but hating it all the same.

He nods. "I wanted to kill him so bad. The way he was treating women....I couldn't stop him any other way. I tried not to. For so long, I tried to control myself, but then I just snapped after seeing how he treated you...." he trails off, and I see the conflict in his wide eyes, even as my blood chills in my veins, mirroring the water under us as we stay crouched in the shallow creek bed.

"The others?" I need to know.

Closing his eyes painfully, he gives me the answer. "Robert and Leo."

"Why? How? I...I kept thinking...." Too many questions tumble around in my head, swarming like angry bees.

"They went over into the restricted zone, the area every wolf knows to keep away from. At the southern part of our border, a large highway runs alongside, and a community of rogues took up residence years ago. Robert and Leo were two guards who often patrolled the area. I tailed them one night after some pack members shared their concerns. That night, I found them doing a deal with the rogues. Rob and Leo had been manufacturing drugs and trading them to the rogues to use in clubs and brothels. The drug was not only hallucinogenic and euphoric, but toxic. I also found out they were involved in human trafficking. That night, a rage inside me unleashed and I killed them along with seven rogues. I didn't even realise what I was doing. I didn't even know I'd killed them until much later. When Hamilton matched my DNA to the scene. I was so blinded by this thing inside me that I lost control."

I shiver at the implication, that Malachi becomes like a completely different person and isn't even aware of his actions. And I can't understand why. "But how can this be? Seneca said you're not a demon."

"I'm not. I'm an Alpha wolf to the very bone, in every molecule of my body. But what I've been learning to control is an evil tendency that is inside, making me want to destroy life and make things miserable. Hamilton has been helping me, training with me to control it," he hangs his head, unable to meet my eyes as he speaks. "Sometimes, the urge to just tear someone apart is so strong, I can't help but act. As I said, I never hurt anyone innocent. I'm very careful and protective of everyone. But when I see such evil behaviour going on, it makes me snap and I finally let loose on the rage inside. I've only ever hurt those mongrels who are truly deserving, you have to understand that Ariella."

I nod, not even sure I agree. "So... you'd never hurt...." I can't bring myself to say it. What this could mean for me is devastating.

"You? Ariella, I would never, ever let myself hurt you. You are the most precious thing to ever exist." He looks away and closes his lips tightly as if he's said too much, exposed more of his heart than he wanted. "You don't need to worry. I'm getting better. Stronger. This won't happen again, I promise."

"Promise? That's a strong word."

You're a strong wolf, but that strong? I doubt it, no matter how much I want to trust my mate. I want to. Reaching out, I bury myself in his arms and will all this madness to go away. To erase the last hour and go back to lying cosily beside each other in bed, and hold onto Malachi with all my strength so he wouldn't leave and commit this horrible thing.

He murdered his pack member.

Tore his throat out like it was a piece of meat in a slaughterhouse. He has blood under his fingernails from taking the life of others.

But he doesn't. It's not him. I've seen the darkness in his eyes, and a black soul stare back at me wrapped in the feathers of fallen demons.

Yet, I've also seen the crystal purity of his heart reflected in azure eyes, the goodness that is his very essence encased by white wings of an angel. He is my angel, and I refuse to believe he is the demon he thinks he is.

It's not possible.

None of this makes sense beside one thing.

He is my mate, and nothing can change the bond we share. The connection ordained by God himself, to be each other's half to make a whole, to share a heart and bond so sacred nothing can tear it apart.

And I remember the time I said I would be by his side forever. That I would understand his heart as much I do my own. So what is my heart telling me? What is it saying about what I feel for my mate?

I lean forward and take his face between my hands and his lips onto my own. Like that first time I kissed him, I kiss him again, full of promise and passion, love and understanding. I will always love my mate and his beautiful heart no matter how much darkness tries to steal it away from me.

Nothing is stronger than the bond of love, and I will fight for us against every demon from hell. If they decide to drag us down and destroy us, I will be fighting with every kind bone in my body. With every fibre of my heart.

The heart I share with Malachi.

As we make our way home, painfully and silently aware of this knowledge between us, I make sure we avoid every watchful eye of pack members. We take a back path through the trees, my hand holding Malachi's and guiding him along as he hangs his head in pure self-loathing. I hate his defeated and hopeless attitude, but he tells me he and Hamilton have been working hard to control this, to conquer the evil thoughts he fights against. And I believe he will, I just need to make him see it.

Malachi heads straight to the shower and cleans himself thoroughly. By the time he comes out, the scratches on his skin have healed, but the rift in my heart will take a little longer. My eyes follow him as he tugs a shirt on and rakes his hand through his damp hair.

"So what now?" I ask, breaking this tangible heaviness between us.

"Now, I'm going to go with Hamilton and speak to the man's family about his death," Malachi sighs and looks at me, his expression oddly blank, resigned even.

"And what are you going to tell them?"

"What we've been telling everyone for the last few months."

Lies.

"That we don't know who the killer is. They'll do forensics and Hamilton will change the results like the other times," Malachi continues, watching me warily as I look at him from under my eye lashes.

After I don't say anything for a few moments, he sighs again. "You know we can't tell them the truth."

That you're a demon. But he's not. Curling my hands into fists, I keep telling myself this.

"They would hate me even more and likely hang me for the crimes. Which I deserve. But until we figure out what's going on with me, this has to stay between us. You understand that, right Ariella?"

"Of course," I say, but my mind is someplace else. Were you going to tell me the truth?

"Once we sort this out, I'll tell you everything. If you still want to hear it." His voice is a quiet murmur, a thousand things he could've said yet I can tell he is holding back. With one hand, he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear while the other reaches tentatively for my hand.

"You're my mate. I will always want to know everything about you." No matter how dark and terrifying it is. The truth will always be the first thing I want from my soulmate. I lean into his gentle embrace. And though I am currently drowning in lies and unknowns, I lift Malachi's hand and press my lips in a kiss on his knuckles. "Take care," I murmur, finding it hard to meet his eyes.

"I'll see you later."

I eat breakfast alone and in silence, but my stomach refuses anything so I settle on a hot mug of green tea. When I feel Malachi head off with Hamilton, I can sense him retreating and shutting me out once again. Too long he has kept me in the dark about what he is going through, and I am beyond frustrated.

If only I knew this all earlier, I could do something to help and work out exactly what is going on. I get lost in my head of anger and feelings of betrayal and distrust. He didn't tell me about this, even if he himself didn't know for sure what was going on, I at least needed some idea.

However, I can't stay mad at Malachi for long because of the breaking of my heart for him. It hurts so much that I just want to run away and scream, yet run to him and cry all at once.

Instead, to clear my thoughts, I spend the day out with various pack members, sometimes Beta Knight, other times Sammy and his little friends. I train and exercise with a smile on my face like I didn't just uncover the dreadful truth about the Alpha this morning. I smile like I'm not on edge with a hundred new questions plaguing my mind about the future of not only myself, but of the entire DoubleEdge Pack.

How do we move forward with this?

I content myself with the assurances that he would never hurt me, how his claim on my neck has bound us both in something he would never disregard. He would only ever want to lay a hand on me in love, not hate.

So when I arrive home before dark and see his tall silhouette leaning against the wall in the foyer, as if he is waiting for me, I don't hesitate in moving towards him to give him a hug, the bond ever drawing us closer.

But when I am close enough, his hand reaches out and snakes around my neck before pushing me roughly against the wall.

I become paralysed as all the air is expelled from my lungs without my permission. Through this new cloak of suffocating fear, I see his crimson-flecked eyes loom above me as he leans closer, then he speaks in my ear with a guttural whisper.

"It's about time you came home, darling mate. Ready for some fun?"

"The things I want to do to you," he murmurs, his eyes scorching my body. When they meet mine, I shiver at the red flecks that glow in his obsidian irises.

It is so otherworldly, so foreign, and my breath catches in my throat as my lungs seize. I am pressed up against the wall in the foyer of the Alpha's mansion, and the evening shadows creep in from the corners and recesses of space. My heart pounds in my chest, reverberating in my ears, and I am sure Malachi can sense my fear as his lips lift in a crooked grin.

"You are all mine," his fingers tighten on the back of my neck as he pulls me closer, and his other hand trails from my mark to my throat, then down my chest in a sensual manner. When he caresses me and uncomfortable shivers snake down my spine, I finally find my voice.

"I may be yours, but you are just as much mine. And as your Luna, I order you to take your hands off my body."

I don't know where the strength in my voice has come from, but I thank God for it. I've been tense all day, so on edge after witnessing Malachi murdering a man this morning, and I don't know what to think. A part of me hates that he could do that, that such evil and rage consumes him. But another part of me remembers the tenderness I've seen in his azure blue eyes, and the gentle way he holds and comforts me after I awake from nightmares. Now, my darkest nightmare is standing in front of me, his flesh real and his heart beating with icy, lustful blood.

Malachi's eyes flicker to mine, so dark and red I can hardly stifle the gasp it causes in me. Such desire radiates from every swirl in his eyes, such a passion for me that the weight of it is nearly crushing.

Then his fingers release me. "Of course, my Love. I will go along with your little game. For now."

He smirks and steps back a foot, and my body involuntarily eases in relief. Then when he next speaks, his voice is dripping with molten desire. "But you want me just as much. Soon you will be begging for me. You will scream my name. Screaming for my hands to touch you in places—"

His words are cut off with a loud smack, and his head snaps to the side. My body trembles as I stare at my stinging hand and realise I have slapped him.

"Don't ever talk to me like that again," I tell him through clenched teeth, seething. The anger his words caused has built up to a breaking point inside me, and I will not let him speak such disrespect to me.

"Ariella?"

This time when he raises his head and pins me with his gaze, the anger melts from my face. Staring at me with pain are crystal blue eyes. Dark blue, admittedly; but blue nonetheless.

"Malachi?" I reach out to take his hand, but he steps back.

"Ari, are you alright?" Even his voice is back to normal; lighter and not so sultry. Clean and not perverted.

"I'm fine. How— how much do you remember?" My heart rate slows down, thumping irregularly as it eases back from the adrenaline spike of fear and uncertainty.

My mate swallows hard, as if wishing he didn't have to say what he does. "Everything. Ariella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to touch you like that...." his face twists with internal anguish, as if the regret is eating up his words.

And then he turns and runs. Down the corridor his steps echo as he retreats without any further words.

"Malachi!" But he doesn't hear. He is too far away. "Why do always run when you need me?" My whispered words echo in the silence and ring in my ears as my heart throbs for my mate.

Sliding down the wall at my back, I sink to my knees and feel tears prick my eyes. I cover my face with my hands and stifle the sob that breaks from my chest. I concentrate on taking even breaths, my heart still racing from what just happened. I remember back to the few times I have seen those crimson flecks in his eyes, to the dreams I've had and wonder if they're one and the same.

All this time I thought Malachi was safe, that he was okay.

When now, I can no longer deny, there truly is a devil inside him. A dark and twisted passion creeping in his veins, flowing from some hidden place in his heart.

He said he'd never hurt me. So what was this just about? What was he going to do if I hadn't snapped him out of his lustful haze? Would he ever take me against my will? Would he disregard my consent and do whatever he pleases while breaking me?

"Hullo, anyone home?"

I jump nearly out of my skin at the call echoing through the front door I left open. Beta Knight accompanies it with a couple of knocks on the heavy timber frame as he steps through it.

"I'm not here," I mumble between my fingers that cover the tear streaks on my face.

"Sorry, I'm not falling for that joke!" he replies cheerily, in total contrast to the sullen pallor that stains the atmosphere. He flicks on the light switch, alighting the warm bulbs in the crystal chandelier fixtures, and immediately notices my huddled position in the foyer.

"Ariella! What happened? Are you alright?!" He rushes to me.

I push myself up and brush my face with the back of my sleeves, praying he doesn't notice the stubborn tears that keep leaking from my eyes. Why am I feeling so sorry for myself? Or maybe this emotion is sadness for my mate and the hopelessness I feel for our future...

"It's nothing. I'm fine," I turn my face away from him, covering myself in the lingering shadows.

"No, it's not nothing. You're crying. Tell me Seneca didn't say something insensitive?" he lays a hand on my shoulder and is already jumping to conclusions. I have no idea how much he really knows about the Luna—the demon he has worked with so closely—but I don't want to say anything. Malachi said to keep this particular fact to ourselves.

"Honestly, I'm okay. I'm just, uhhh..." Here comes the first lie. I sniff and flick the tear away from under my eye, "I'm on my period."

Seriously? I'd smack myself in the face from embarrassment if I wasn't still so nervous.

Knight takes a breath, then exhales slowly. "Nope. That's not it. I've seen plenty of hormonal emotions before, and this isn't what it looks like. Besides, I know you're not on your period." He lifts a reproachful eyebrow at me, making my stomach twist into tight knots.

"How..." I begin to ask, heat rising up my neck and burning my face.

He taps the side of his nose and smirks.

If my shame could get any worse, it just did.

"Come on, let's get you some ice cream." He helps me to stand, then slings his arm around my shoulder and all but drags me down the hall towards the kitchen. "I can see you don't want to talk about it just yet. Maybe a sugar hit will fix things for a while."

I try and argue that nothing is going to fix this, but Knight refuses to let me say anything until I'm seated in the living room with a tub of my favourite vanilla ice cream in one hand and spoon in the other. He dishes himself a bowl and douses it with chocolate chips, then settles next to me on the couch.

"Okay, spill. Is Harlow giving you a hard time? Or did Hendrik try and steal a kiss under the tree by the swimming hole? Or... I know! The young guys challenged you to another fight and you're scared of losing?"

I jolt up and smack him with my spoon. "I'm not afraid of a challenge! I've been training every day for over a month, and I bet I could take even you—"

I stop when I see Knight smirking, then grinning, before he bursts into laughter.

"There she is," he says between boyish giggles. "Our favourite, feisty, Luna-in-training. Ari, I know you'd never back down from a fight," he raises his hands in defence when I grab a cushion and start to whack him with it.