61

"Do you love him?" Gabby asks as she pats my shoulder, stroking my hair back from my face and handing me a tissue for my tears. Her motherly instincts and actions are just what I need right now.

"I think I do. I mean, he's my mate. Of course I love him. I just want to be with him and spend time with him, feel his arms around me. Hold him at night and never let go." Yes, I never want to be apart from him. With him is the only place I truly feel at home.

"Sure, but do you love him?"

I take a moment to reply, as I really think about her question. "What even is love?" I ask quietly yet still manage to hear a snort from Luci as if I asked the most stupid question. Maybe I did.

Gabby shoots Luci one of her famous glares then answers me gently. "Love is not just a feeling, Ariella. It is action. It is being patient with someone even if they're the most trying person. It is being kind to them even when they mistreat you. I don't mean you should go back to him if he's abusing you, but you should try and understand where he's coming from. Love is considering his thoughts and feelings with your own. You show your love for him by wanting the best for him even if he doesn't deserve it."

"Well, I want Malachi to be happy—"

"Happy," Luci chokes on the word. "No one can make up their mind on what really makes them happy nowadays. The definition of the word keeps changing every generation. Parents just sit back and let their children ruin their lives in this pursuit of happiness. It's so much fun to watch!" She claps her hands excitedly, and I determine then that Luci is certifiably crazy.

I ignore her and think back to the coldness in his eyes as he rejected me today. "If he's happy without me, then I guess I could live with that. I could live without him if he hates being around me so much," I sniff, nearly choking on the lies and scrunching the tissue in my fist. "If he dislikes me so much, then fine. He can have his solitude, peace, and quiet without me." A part of me knows this isn't true, but maybe I'm just dreaming that he does actually care for me.

"Yeah, he deserves to rot in that massive prison all by himself for how he treated you," Luci adds, a dark frown on her face.

I sit up and look at her, "No, I didn't mean that—"

"Don't you want him to suffer, Ariella? Don't you want him to feel pain, and maybe get a little taste of what you're going through?" Luci twists her eyebrows in a show of cynicism, motioning to the pathetic mess I am right now.

I swallow hard, the meaning of both their words confusing me, but making one thing clear. "No. No, I don't want him to hurt at all. I've seen the pain he lives with, the darkness in his soul. I don't want him to suffer anymore. I would take it all away if I could. I would fill his days with sunshine and joy, make his home bright and cheerful, and take away all his worries just so he can smile again. So he can breathe without so much weight on his shoulders. I care so much for him, it hurts," I clutch my hands to my chest, right over the physical pain in my heart, and turn pleading eyes to Gabby. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You love him," she responds simply. "I know he has hurt you, Ariella, but you're stronger than either of you believe. He might not see your worth or understand what it means to love you as a mate, but I know you do. You can see the heart that lies buried within him, the heart yearning for a chance. And only you can give him that. Maybe only you can save him."

"But he rejected her!" Luci points out, continuing to pace back and forth in frenzied steps. She is a body of energy, tightly wound and set to spring any moment. I'd hate to be the target for her vengeful fury. "Is she just meant to waltz back to him, her heart still broken and bleeding, and forgive him for stabbing her like that?"

"He has a fragile soul already, Luci," I defend him. "He doesn't know what he wants. I'm willing to place all my faith in the fact that somewhere, somehow inside him there is a flicker of hope. Hope that he does want me, and—"

"You're dreaming, Ari. Malachi is a jerk and a sick wolf for just pushing you away like that. He's been pushing you away ever since you met him. I wouldn't waste anymore time on him. Just accept the fact he's finally rejected you, so you can make a clean break and get over him once and for all."

"I could never get over him. I love him too much. I would give my life for him," I climb from my bed and wipe back tears so I can see clearly out the window, staring in the direction of his territory. The clouds have cleared, and the moon has once again cast silvery light over the landscape. But I sense a shift in the atmosphere, a heaviness that isn't only in my soul. I feel it pressing in all around me.

"By walking back to him, you would be giving your life for him. Throwing it away like you don't care for the breath that fills your lungs or the beat in your heart. You could do so much more with your life—"

"He is my life!" I turn and yell at Luci, clenching my jaw after the outburst. But I can see clearly now what I am meant to do. "He is my destiny, and I know that together we can accomplish far more than anything individually. We were made for each other, and one foolish moment of heated words from him isn't ever going to change that. He may not recognise what we mean to each other, but I do. I won't give up on him!" I pound my fist into my hand and stamp my foot. The action infuses strength back into my weary body. Glaring at Luci, I wait for her equally heated retort, but she is staring out the window behind me.

"What—" she begins with a puzzled expression on her face.

I turn around and see the dark world beyond the window, the shadows and trees branches playing tag on the front lawn. But instead of silver light shed by the moon, everything has taken on an orange hue. A crimson glow taints the usually bright scene. I gasp and peer up, watching as the moon is eaten with a shadow of its own.

"The lunar eclipse is tonight!" Gabby explains and slaps her forehead as if it's something none of us should have forgotten.

"The what?"

"Lunar eclipse. It's where the earth passes between the sun and moon, causing the shadow—"

"I know what an eclipse is!" I growl frustratedly at Luci. "But what's so important about it?"

"Well," Luci fidgets, hesitation in her voice that is highly unusual. "Gabby had a theory..." she looks to our blonde friend to elaborate.

Gabby grabs my hands in hers. "Remember that poem by Francis Ainsworth? The one about the moon turning to blood..."

"About souls being cursed? But that was all figurative..." I don't see where she's going with this. Francis may have had some predictions come true, but she wrote lots of poetry that was just that. Poetry.

"Shh!" Luci holds up a hand to hush me, her other balancing a book before she flips a few more pages. I recognise it as the one we found in Alpha Chesca's library. "Here it is!" She clears her throat and quotes solemnly.

"When the Moon turns to blood, night shall be free. Cursed forever are the souls bound to me. Mortal souls shall die; engulfed by Night. Forever to roam beyond mortal sight."

I can't explain why, but the words cause a full body shudder to ripple through me. "Cursed forever. Seneca mentioned how she and her brothers and sisters were cursed after a rebellion against the King. Malachi is her son, but he's not a demon by birth. He's a wolf."

"A mortal soul. But what if that could change? Remember reading about a transformation ritual?" Gabby taps her lower lip with her index finger, thinking deeply.

"Mortal souls shall die. Forever to roam beyond mortal sight. The Interealm. That has to be it!" I say, piecing the riddle together. "I've seen a beast within Malachi. What if he is slowly turning into a demon, and tonight is the time of his full transformation? He'll be forever cursed and bound to the Interealm."

I'm already climbing out the window to run as fast as I can to Malachi, but something stops me.

I'm tugged back and land hard on the carpet. Luci glares down at me.

"You might want to take this," she says seriously while holding out a knife. It is the ancient dagger that the Steelheart forefathers collected from another dynasty. The dagger with the mysterious swirls and designs etched into the handle. The one I used to kill a rogue.

"Why would I want that?!" I slap her hand away, and pull myself up again.

Mu raven-haired friend smirks, her full lips dangerously close to the blade as she inspects it. "If I was crawling into bed with a demon, I'd want protection."

"Don't be so dramatic, Luci!" Gabby berates her.

"Hey, Ari was the one who just wanted to die a dramatic death in the snow all by herself."

I gasp. "I never said that!"

"But you were thinking it."

"Oh yeah, and you can read my thoughts now."

Luci justs gives me another of her signature smirks, but this time it leaves me feeling unsettled.

"Just take it," she says while slipping the dagger down the front of my white dress. It rests snugly between my skin and the waistband, the cool steel blade causing shivers to erupt all over me. More and more snakes of anxiety writhe in my stomach, but I take a deep breath to still them.

I make no move to remove the dagger. It feels secure, like I have something to protect myself with should anything go wrong. But I can't be afraid. Malachi is my mate, and he would never hurt me.

But then I remember the cold stone in my chest where my heart should be. The ache is fading, the numbness setting in. I am already dead. He has already killed me.

So what do I have to lose? At least by going back and trying to reason with him, I have a chance of saving him from whatever darkness he is consumed by. I may be able to save him even though I am already too far gone. Malachi has done this to me, but maybe I can do something good for him. Despite the faith Gabby has in me, I don't believe for a second that I have the strength to save both Malachi and me.

"I'm not planning on fighting anyone, but thanks for the safety gear," I pat my chest and glare at Luci once more before smiling at Gabby. Her blue eyes twinkle with genuine concern, then she pulls me in for a reassuring hug. "Thanks, sis," I squeeze her tightly, then wipe my eyes dry. "I will go now. My mind is made up." I climb out the window again and leap to the tree. My friends follow carefully behind. We could've taken the stairs and gone out the front door, but honestly this is the fastest route out.

As I creep along the shadowed paths towards DoubleEdge territory, I am reminded of a night not too long ago, when we crept out to investigate the dark calling on the wind, the dark haze and mystery that was my mate.

Now, like then, I don't know what I'm walking towards. I don't know him.

The eclipse progresses, the shadow consuming the face of the moon and drawing it further into darkness. A dark blood-red tint is etched on every surface around us like an eerie vale.

Each one of my senses is telling me to stop.

Turn around.

Run in the opposite direction towards everything familiar and safe.

But my instinct keeps telling me to go on, press forward, and answer the screaming in my mind. I need to answer the unspoken plea from my Alpha mate.

I need to fight to save him, even if it destroys me.

The night is growing darker and more sickly the deeper into the forest we run.

My feet are aching and my lungs burn with cold air as I pant, taking deep breaths and feeling it bite its way down my throat. But I can't stop. I have to keep going. I get the strongest impression that many lives depend on whether I can get to Malachi soon enough.

Soon enough for what, I still don't know. But I can't shake the heavy feeling that everything is wrong and I have some power to stop it.

"Slow down! Not everyone can run as fast as you," Luci puffs and heaves behind me, grasping for my shoulder in an effort to stop me.

I shake her off. "Not my fault you're always checking out the guys at training instead of actually running. You'd be a lot fitter if you paid attention to the routines for once in your life," I throw back over my shoulder, picking up my pace when I cross the border between territories and feel the familiar tug on my heart.

Like an invisible thread, a small connection still exists between my mate and I. I feel it growing stronger, more tangible, more urgent. Though it is accompanied by a deep pain and sense of emptiness, I grasp hold of the thread and follow it with every sense and every instinct I have.

Tree branches swish around me, scratching at my bare legs and tugging sharply on my coat, but I push through them and keep going. The gullies steepen and grow more inclined as I traverse the hill that I know leads to the Alpha's mansion of DoubleEdge territory.

The fallen leaves and bracken underfoot crunch as Luci and Gabby follow behind me, keeping up as best they can. Straining my ears, I try and listen beyond us for any unwanted presence such as rogues. I know they are probably lurking nearby, daring to get as close as they can to the populated pack grounds. I also know the guards are doing their job well, but rumours of a planned rogue attack have plagued us for days. Their numbers have strengthened, and I believe the timing has to do with the full moon and blood eclipse.

And Malachi's twentieth birthday.

This is probably a test of his strength, a final challenge of his leadership that everyone is eager to see the outcome of.

Tonight was supposed to be a celebration and perhaps something more. I'd been hoping he would formally accept me as mate and publicly proclaim me as Luna of his pack.

Instead, he rejected me. I haven't accepted it yet, only prolonging the pain in my chest, yet I still believe I should hold onto what we have and see this night through.

Or die trying.

A black presence nudges at my conscience, prickling the hair on the back of my neck and sending shivers down my spine. I recognise the feeling, yet I still pray that demons aren't really nearby in this forest. Rogues are dangerous enough. Demons are deadly.

"Are we almost there? And what exactly do you plan on doing once we get there? This plan to dash madly through a dark forest is utterly ridiculous."

"Stop whining, Luc!" Gabby scolds her. "Aren't you the one who's always up for an adventure? Now just when this one counts for something, you turn chicken and slow us down. Move out of the way."

I try and dismiss the sounds of my friends bickering, then feel Gabby's warm breath on my shoulder as she overtakes Luci.

"Whatever happens tonight, Ari, I've got your back."

Her reassurance comforts me, and I smile in the eerie glow of the red haze coming from the moon. The shadow of the earth is halfway across its face, and I still don't know what I'm running towards or what I'm meant to do when I get there. But knowing my friends are with me is encouraging, and causes warmth to fill my bones.

Just before I turn and tackle the final hill that Malachi's estate sits atop, I am assaulted with the sounds of hushed whispers and shuffling footsteps. The glow of flaming torches can be seen through the trees, and I creep forward on silent feet.

Shadowy figures dart between the pine trees and dense brush. I can tell they aren't dirty rogues. Their scents are clean and fresh, and they belong to DoubleEdge pack. I hurry from the shadowed safety of a trunk and intercept them.

"Ariella?"

My voice is called, a flame waved in front of my face to identify me, and I squint to see who is leading this secretive group of wolves through the forest.

"Hendrik..." I whisper when I see his face glowing in the torchlight. The bright orange flicker illuminates his brown eyes and worried expression. "What's happening? Where are you all going?" I look over the Gamma's broad shoulder to the frightened faces behind him. Women, children, and a couple of warriors stare back at me impatiently.

"I could ask the same of you. I was so worried for you when Knight escorted you out of our territory. I'm sorry it had to end the way it did," he reaches out and clasps my shoulder warmly. His touch is a spark of life in this deadened forest.

I brush off his condolences and ask again, "Where are you going?"

"Across the north-western border, for safety. There are rogues surrounding the pack house and town, and our plan is to get the most vulnerable pack members out of here before the fighting starts."

My face must pale at this information, because Hendrik holds his arm out and I grasp it for support. I see Devanshi step up beside him, holding a torch in one hand and a small baby against her chest. An elderly shewolf holds on to her elbow and peers at me with a stricken expression in her milky eyes.

"Hamilton is with the Alpha and our strongest warriors. They'll be okay," Hendrik explains as through he can see I'm worried for them. "No rogues can get past him."

"That's not what I'm worried about," I begin, but I know he'll never believe me if I start explaining the otherworldly tug I feel towards my mate, and the sense of dread about what might happen. They've been training to defeat rogues, but are they strong enough to withstand the dark force I feel pressing in all around me?

"We have to go. Now," Devanshi says with an edge to her voice as she looks to her Gamma furtively.

Hendrik winces, peering into the gloom around us before turning his full attention back to me.

"Come with us, Ariella," he says quickly.

"What?" I gasp, stepping back from them and bumping into Luci and Gabby who crowd close behind me.

"Dang, he's so hot! Just kiss him already," Luci giggles in my ear. I see she is checking out his broad chest and bulging arm muscles. His toned body is of no interest to me, however. I lift my foot and stamp on hers hard, wishing she would keep quiet and not embarrass me.

Hendrik goes on as if he never heard Luci. "We can keep you safe. I'll protect you. There's a region we are going to that is a safety zone for those in times of need. Hamilton and I planned this, should something ever happen..." he grimaces as his voice trails off. I can see the dark thoughts in his head, the concern and anguish he feels over his pack being so vulnerable and open to attack right now. This is his last resort to protect his family.

I nod in understanding, "Thank you Hendrik, but I need to find my mate—"

His eyes flash, his jaw setting in resolution. "My Alpha doesn't deserve you. He proved that when he threw you out with no sensible reason. Everyone agrees you only did what you needed to, to protect the female Alpha of ForgedHearts. Jasper's death isn't your fault, though Alpha might say it was."

"I know it's not," I whisper as I look down at my feet, inwardly relieved to hear him take my side and defend me.

But I can't agree on Malachi not deserving me. He is an Alpha, and I'm only the orphaned daughter of fallen warriors. He is too strong and prominent to be bound to an immature girl who still believes in fairytales. I should go to him only to appease the tugging and burning in my heart, then I will accept his rejection and release him to live his life fully.

At least, that is what I tell myself.

My heart is screaming otherwise. A part of me burns to claim him as mine forever.

"We need you, Ariella. The pack needs a Luna," Hendrik implores me, his brown eyes round and full of hope.

I glance again at the now expectant faces of the women and children with him. They are being led by their strong Gamma and warriors. Why does he say they need me? How long does he envision they'll be forced to stay in this safe zone, away from their homes, and without an Alpha to lead them?

When I don't respond, Hendrik swallows hard and takes a step closer to me, his hand coming to rest on my arm gently. "Just come with me. You'll be safe. I promise, we'll keep you safe."

I hesitate and bite my bottom lip as I think carefully, narrowing my eyes and staring into his own. I see the tenderness that has always been there, ever since he met me and even when he realised he could never have me. He is now offering me a home and protection when I have just been rejected and deserted. It would be so easy to accept his offer and have a place where I belong.

But it just doesn't feel right. "Malachi needs me."

His hand tightens on my arm as he tugs me closer. "Malachi rejected you! Don't throw your life away on someone who doesn't care about you. Just please...consider my offer. It's not often we're given second chances." He looks over his shoulder as a bone-chilling howl cuts the silent air in two. With renewed fervour in his eyes, he grabs my hand, "We're running out of time. Just come with me now. Please, Ari."

I step back and shake my head, my voice catching in my throat. "I can't. I'm sorry. Malachi is my first and second chance."

Tears prick my eyes as I drop my gaze from his face and instead focus on the flaming torch in his hand. The flames flicker and spark, growing blurry and I blink to clear my eyes. Still, a stubborn tear slips down my cheek so I dash it away in a harried motion. My hand slips in my pocket and wraps around the watch Hamilton gave me. Pulling it out, I am reminded of what his father told him, and what his father told him before that many years ago—there is always time to stop, think, and do what's right.

It's almost as if Hamilton was trying to tell me something when he gave me his watch.

Taking a deep breath, I speak in a decided voice, "I'm not giving up on Malachi."

Hendrik's hand falls away from around my own, the warm sensation slipping away and leaving me cold, and I sense his posture stiffen. "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. Or offer you safety. I can't guarantee anything if you choose to follow the foolish notion of going after your mate." He spits the last word, imparting his full disbelief into the validity of it. He was there when Malachi sent me away, declaring he could never love me.

"You don't have to worry about me," I shake my head again and take all the blame from him. "It is my choice. You need to go. If it's as bad as you say it is..."

He nods curtly, and steps away. Devanshi throws me a pitying look one last time, then also turns and they disappear once more into the shadows of the forest.

"You should have followed him. It's not every day a cute Gamma proposes—"

"Shut it, Luci!" Gabby and I both say, turning to her and glaring even though she can hardly see us in the dark. I once more head through the trees towards Malachi's place, only this time a thread of doubt twists around my heart and squeezes it like a python does its prey. Did I make a huge mistake by not going with Hendrik and Devanshi? Doesn't common sense tell me to run for my life and never look back, taking every new opportunity for love that I am offered? Hendrik would have been good to me...