Chapter 45

ALEXIS (TWO DAYS AGO)

What. The. Fuck?

Was she serious?

My mouth was agape as Diana stared down at me with the most serious look I had seen her give me since I woke up.

"I'm very serious, darlin'."

I swallowed hard and stared at the sparkling marble floor. What should I do?

My heart plummeted as I realized the only choice I had was to stay up here so Hudson could live. I couldn't let my desire for my mate destroy the pack. They needed him.

Five hundred people depended on him to take care of them. If he died, they would be lost and the pack would fall in a matter of days.

But what would happen if I didn't return?

The griffins were probably still looking for me, and they would not believe Hudson if he told them I was gone.

Going to war was inevitable, whether I returned or not.

That meant that even if I didn't return, Hudson still had a possibility of dying in battle because he would be weak – the mate bond breaking would tear him apart.

Suddenly, his words echoed in my head: "I want you to promise me that if something happens out there....you will come back to me. I don't care if I die the next moment, I just want to see you again."

Oh Moon Goddess, why were there pros and cons to both choices? Why couldn't it be something easier?

"You need some more time, Alexis? You don't have to make the decision right away," Diana said softly, tracing the designs on her staff with her fingertips.

I sighed, "Yes, please."

She smiled kindly, "You have two days to make a decision. Don't disappoint me, Alexis. You know what to do deep down. Follow that gut feeling."

Then, she disappeared with a burst of moon dust.

I exhaled quietly and stared at the ceiling, wondering why Hudson and I could never catch a break. There was always something trying to break us apart.

We couldn't just have a normal mateship.

"Ms. Alexis?"

I sat up to find an elderly woman standing at the door with a warm smile on her face. I quickly stood up and walked over to her curiously, "Hi, ma'am. Can I help you?"

She chuckled, "Call me Autumn, Ms. Alexis. After all, you are the future Moon Goddess. Therefore, you are my superior."

I shook my head, "I would prefer if you called me Alexis. I'm still a normal wolf, Autumn."

The smile on Autumn's face grew, "I see why she chose you. Now, come along, dear. I want to show you something."

She led me out of the throne room and down the hallway to another set of double doors.

"This is the library. We have information on all the Moon Goddesses here and their biographies," Autumn said, unlocking the door and letting it swing open. I stepped inside and looked around the room in awe. It was absolutely beautiful. The shelves were handmade with intricate carvings on them that seemed to tell a story of their own.

Autumn directed me to a table that had two chairs on one side and handed me the cup that was sitting there, "Lemon tea, dear? It will calm your nerves."

I took it gratefully and watched her scour the shelves for something. When she didn't find it, she snapped her fingers and a book flew off one of the shelves and into her outstretched hand.

"Here we go," she murmured excitedly, rushing back to hand me the book. I took it from her hands and glanced at the cover in confusion. It was quite an old book with pages that were slowly turning yellow and text that was slowly fading.

Autumn sat on the chair beside mine and nodded at the book, "This book is very special, dear. Everytime a new Moon Goddess arrives, more pages are added to this book. It discusses why the wolf was chosen, the design of her wolf, and what her test was, which I think you will find interesting."

I opened it up and skimmed the first few pages, mainly looking for the sections on the tests. As I read through each of the tests the Moon Goddesses had to face, I realized that each one had to do with their mate. Autumn smiled softly when I looked up at her, "A mate is a wolf's greatest weakness, that is why all the tests have to do with them. It is to see how you would take on a difficult challenge, similar to ones you would have to face when you become Moon Goddess."

If I had to make a decision like this one several times, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be the next Moon Goddess.

"Sleep on it, Alexis. Don't be hasty. Perhaps you will get a better idea of what to do once you wake up," Autumn said, standing up.

"Thank you for showing me this," I said, handing the book back to her.

"Happy to help, dear. I like you. I want you to pass this," she said, patting my hand gently before disappearing behind the shelves to put the book back.

I made my way back to my room and plopped on my bed with a groan.

People say heaven was the land of happiness. If that was really true, why did I feel so miserable right now?

***

I was sitting on my throne with my hands clasped in my lap.

A wolf had requested an audience with me, and I was waiting for my guards to bring him in.

When the door opened, I straightened and watched my guards lead a wolf into the room. The wolf's head was bowed as if he didn't want to see my face.

He got on his knee as a sign of respect, and I nodded at my guards to let them know that they could leave.

Once they left, I stood up and grasped my staff tightly, "Rise, wolf. What do you wish to ask me?"

The wolf raised his head and stared at me with those gray eyes.

"You don't know who I am, Goddess?"

My heart nearly stopped in my chest at the sight of the man I loved and still did.

He had aged beautifully, with a few streaks of gray in his hair and a few wrinkles on his face. But there was no mistaking him, I knew my mate.

He didn't stare at me like he loved me though, he regarded me with a cool look in hs eyes as if he could care less about how I felt.

"Hudson," I whispered, "You-you."

"I died," he said, "Old age. I'm nearly five hundred years old, Goddess. It was my time."

That meant it had been exactly four hundred and seventy-five years since we last saw each other.

"I wanted to know why you never came back. I asked to see you before I died, and you didn't come back. Why did you choose to stay?"

My heart broke at his statement. Did he not understand I wanted him to be happy?

"Hudson, I wanted you to be happy."

"Well, you were wrong. I was miserable. I had no one to stay by my side while everyone was busy having pups and making their little families bigger."

"The pack needed you, Hud–"

"The pack didn't need a broken man. I stepped down from the position of Alpha just a few months after you left. I couldn't take it any longer after the bond broke. I just lost it."

Tears filled my eyes as his eyes glistened with pain and suffering.

The pain and suffering I caused him.

"I would have liked a happy death than a long life of suffering. With the choice you made, you might as well have killed me yourself."

I covered my mouth to hold back a sob, "You don't mean that."

He rolled his eyes and stood up, "Do you know what the issue with our relationship?"

Tears trailed down my cheeks as he pointed to his chest, "I was loyal. You were not."

He walked out of the throne room as I fell to my knees, bawling my eyes out.

His words echoed in my head like a broken record.

I wasn't loyal. I broke him when I promised I wouldn't.

***

My heart pounded against my chest as I sat up in the bed and looked around the room in confusion.

Thank the Moon Goddess, it was only a dream.

I swiped a hand behind my neck, only to realize that I was sweating heavily. I got out of the bed and rushed to the bathroom to wash my face.

After I splashed my face with cold water, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and noticed how dead I look.

And not just in physical appearance.

My eyes looked like someone had drained the life out of me. I looked like I had no soul.

This whole situation was taking a heavy toll on me, and I was just starting to see the effects of it. Thankfully, the dream had the gears turning in my head.

Despite the fact that it was severely heartbreaking, it was a good reminder.

A promise is a promise.

And I knew exactly what I had to do.

I wiped my hands on the towel and walked out with a determined look on my face.

***

Diana was sitting on her throne, playing with some sphere of magic when I walked into the throne room.

As soon as she noticed me, she snapped her fingers and the sphere disappeared, "Come in, Alexis. Have a seat."

I sat down beside her and looked her in the eye, "I made my decision. I'm going back."

I waited patiently for some sort of reaction, but she just stared at me with an indecipherable look on her face. How was I supposed to know if she was angry or not if she didn't show any emotion?

"As you wish," she said calmly, still revealing nothing.

There was a rush of wind and moon dust around us before I felt myself being whisked away into the air. I closed my eyes and waited patiently for the flying dust to stop.

A few moments passed until I finally felt something hard underneath my knees. It was like I was on my knees on a hard surface.

"Open your eyes, Alexis."

My eyes flew open at the sound of Diana's voice, and I found her standing in front of me beside a man. I got up slowly and looked around curiously.

We were in a forest somewhere.

Diana must have noticed the confusion on my face because she shook her head amusedly, "We are a few miles away from your pack. Not to worry."

She reached over and patted my cheek,"You passed with flying colors, darlin'. Go back to your mate. I'll see you in a few hundred years."

"What?" I asked, shocked by how she said that so casually.

She laughed quietly and shook her head as if I was amusing her again.

"You forget that the Moon Goddess is in charge of pairing wolves together. Alexis, when a wolf accepts their mate, they promise to stay by the wolf's side through the good and the bad. They promise to make their mate the happiest they could possibly be. If a Moon Goddess doesn't take her mate seriously, how do you expect other wolves to take their mates seriously?"

The realization hit me, and it was then I noticed she was holding hands with the man beside her.

Her mate.

She smiled up at him and he kissed her temple in return. When she returned her attention to me, she snapped her fingers and a bag appeared in front of her.

"Take this. You'll need it. The griffins aren't going to die, or Lord Silvius would kill me, but they will surrender. When the time is right, open this bag. You'll know what to do," she said, winking at me.

I smiled and accepted the bag, "Thank you."

"Go to your mate, darlin'. Defeat those griffins before they go haywire."