Chapter Twenty

CHRIS

Over the past few days, I found myself clinging to her. I couldn't wait for the next time to visit her again, all I could think of was her. I was no longer concerned about her being a rogue, all I wanted was her by my side as my mate. I bottled up my emotions whenever I was around her, that was the only way to not push her away from me but deep inside me, I wanted to tell her how I felt, how I wanted her close to me.

As usual, I tried to sneak out of the pack when I was caught by my mother. She walked up to me with a frown on her face

“Where is the alpha of this pack sneaking out at this time? she said.

"Sneaking out," I scoffed. "Come off it, mother, I'm only taking a walk, I'll be back soon."

"I've been observing you for days now, is there something going on that I need to know, son?" she asked.

I huffed a sigh and wrapped my arms around her. "Nothing is going on mother, I am only going out into the woods for a walk. I have a lot to think of lately. I haven't found my mate and in no time, I'll be dethroned. It's weighing on me and I need to clear my head," I lied.

It was true that I had a lot going on around me but telling a lie about not finding my mate was necessary. Not that I wanted to but I didn't know how she would react when she found out about Lucy being a rogue.

"Oh dear, I understand how you feel. No one can take your right from you, it's yours. You don't have to listen to those treacherous councilmen, their words mean nothing," she said, patting my back.

"Thank you mother, I need to leave now so that I can return before dusk," I waved off and left before she said anything else or tried to stop me.

I got to her hut and there she was, waiting for me. I wasn't expecting her to show up here but each day we decided to meet she never failed to show up. I wasn't sure if she was always here because she wanted to see me or to know how I was making progress in solving her father's case.

"Make yourself at home," she said.

Home, I thought. That's new. Was she now comfortable having me around her?

"What do you have for me? Have you found anything lately?" I asked. Though within, I wanted to talk about us, I had to tell her how I really felt. Keeping these emotions to myself weighed heavily on me.

"Look at her and tell her how you feel. Aren't you curious to know what our mate tastes like? Don't tell me you don't want to feel her warmth around you. Look at her, that body's a piece of art, she is by far, the most bodacious woman we’ve set our eyes on, admit it, Chris,” Garvin said through the mind link.

I could feel the swelling and tension in my lower region and I could tell that I was aroused at the thought of her. I swallowed hard and fought the urge to remain calm. My wolf only made matters worse.

"Enough wolfie, that's enough. It's rather too early to have such desires for her, besides, she doesn't want to be with us. She doesn't love us," I said.

“Speak for yourself, human. I’m not as blind as you are to see the writing on the wall, she wants you, she wants us but you’re too dumb to notice anything, way too dumb.”

I could feel the tension building up inside me, I was restless and sweating profusely. I swallowed hard and fought the lustful thoughts in my head. “Don’t ruin this, Chris, don’t ruin this,” I mumbled.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “You’ve been acting strange since you got here, is everything okay? Is there something you need to tell me?”

Yes, I need to tell you how you make me feel, Lucy. I want you. Those words were at the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t bring myself to say them, rather I stood there staring at her.

“Chris-Chris!”

“I’m sorry, I got carried away, I have a lot on my mind right now,” I lied.

“Do you want to talk about it,” she asked, placing her hand on my shoulder. I felt a cold chill run down my spine. “Is it about what I told you? You have nothing to worry about, I’m not going to let that happen to you,” she said.

Now I was confused, At first, she acted like she didn’t care about me and now she was so concerned and willing to stand by me.

“I don’t seem to understand you, Lucy. One minute you hate me and the next you are willing to stand by me,” I said.

“Which would you prefer, Alpha Chris?” she said.

“You want to know what I think,” I said, head dipping lower as I tried to get level with her eyes. “I think I prefer you being by my side, Lucy. I want you to be close to me every day, I never want to be apart from you.”

I leaned closer and could see how uneasy she had become, she tried to avoid close eye contact with me. “Don’t you want the same?”

“I don’t know, I just–”

without warning, my mouth was on hers. I kissed her roughly, her body trembling in my arms. “If you want me to stop, tell me now,” I whispered. I brushed her mouth against the hollow of her temple. “Should I stop?” I traced the line of her cheekbone. “Or now.”

She pulled me closer and kissed me back, and oh, it was good. She knotted her fists in my shirt, pulling me harder against her. I groaned softly, low in my throat, and my arms circled her, gathering her against me, still kissing.

Suddenly, she pushed away from me. “I’m sorry I can’t,” she said in a shaky voice, tears flowing down her cheek. I didn’t know what to say or do, I simply watched as she took off into the woods. I feared that I might never get to see her again.

“It’s all your fault, now you’ll never see her again,”. I muttered. I cursed under my breath as I returned to the pack, downcasted.