◆ Brotherly Love ◆

◇ KEL ◇

What did he mean by "same"?  Was he saying he had no idea why his girlfriend said yes to his proposal?  Or did he mean he didn't know why she cheated on him?  Wait.  I shouldn't keep peeling off the scabs with more invasive questions.  But my curiosity was too much.

"It's so fucked up, innit?" Enzo held back a laugh.  He slurred his words a little now, reminding me of how much wine he imbibed tonight.

While he kept his face pressed onto my upper abdomen, I took out my phone and glanced at the thin white numbers on my screen.  It was a few hours before midnight, and I doubted he still wanted to drive me back to the apartment.

"Not even the worst part."

"What d'you mean?" I squinted at him when he pulled away to glance at me.  A fair amount of vexation was in his droopy eyes. I finally got to breathe normally when his arms let go of me.

"Leo's just gettin' worse." Enzo rubbed his palms onto his face now.  "Just...out of control."

My breathing caught at his statement.  What did he mean by his brother "getting worse"?  As in doing worse things?  Illegal things?  Hurting more people?  "You mean, his behavior? Why?" I tried not to scowl. "What did he..."

"And his addiction." Enzo put his splayed hands on the covers, absentmindedly staring at the wall behind me. His brows and forehead were scrunched, and his cheeks looked more flushed now.  "Remember Alodia?"

I nodded in reply.  It wasn't a while ago when I met Alodia, Leandro's younger girlfriend.  It was that same night he tried to keep me hostage in his basement back in San Pietro. He thought I was spying on him and his family.  Weirdest, scariest night of my life.  To date.

"She's missing." Enzo glanced at me with a frown.

"What?"

"She left the island. He said she helped him with an art deal. Then she just...didn't come back."

"When?"

"Weeks ago." Enzo shrugged weakly and bit on his lip.  "He's been cut up about it since he found out. Frantic right now, to be honest."

Crap.  A frantic, desperate Leandro Tomassini...  "That's...unfortunate."  Where's the girl now? Did they report her as a missing person?  Was she still in Italy?  "Did you guys talk to the cops?"

"She's still messaging him every now and then. Just not telling him where she is." Enzo shook his head and grinned slightly.  "It's what's driving him more nuts. Besides the drugs."

"Oh. I hope she's okay."  I sat on the bed next to Enzo.  My stomach still coiled in malaise every time I would think of his brother, but it wasn't as bad as before.  And I could tell Enzo was genuinely worried for his older brother's current psychological health.

Some suspicions filled my thoughts a while ago but I didn't know for sure that Leandro was a drug addict, too.  The thought reminded me of Miles again.  Darn it.  Hopefully Miles followed my advice of cutting down on his drug use.

"Did you try to talk to him about it?"

"A couple times," Enzo replied with a milder scowl, his brows still furrowed. "Doesn't do me any favors, but, still trying."

"Why? He doesn't want your help?"

"I don't really know."

"Where do you think she is? Home? Or still in Italy?"

"Most likely.  Yeah.  Last time Leo's guys saw her, she was in Rome."

"Oh." I paused to mull over the possibilities.

If Alodia left San Pietro to hide and stay away from Leandro as far as possible, was there any other reason apart from his addiction issues?  They looked like a typical new couple that night.  Helplessly in love.  Kisses and long hugs almost every five minutes.

Albeit there had been some ill at ease moments that time, but I didn't suspect they were having relationship troubles.  That was until Leandro locked me up in that creepy basement, before mentioning he didn't want to "get rid" of Alodia yet.

Odd guy.  For real.  Just so...disturbed.  He kept sounding more like Enzo's absolute polar opposite every time I would hear about his current status.  Was it the stress?  Because of his growing responsibilities as the incoming head of the family business?  Maybe.

It shouldn't be an excuse for his behavior, though.  Enzo was also under much stress—more so at this point.  The difference was Enzo never seemed the type to hurt another person.  Some unsafe booze binging as I'd noticed, but, he didn't seem like he would harm another human being just because life wasn't treating him so kindly lately.

"Sounds like, you're both going through a lot right now," I commented. "I just wish you would take it down a notch with the booze and..." I balked, uncertain of what to say next without offending him or sounding too critical of his actions.  "You don't need it to feel better. It's just a band aid. Not even a good one."

While he kept staring at the wall, Enzo only nodded weakly in response.

"If you need to talk to someone, just text me."

He scoffed and grinned faintly. "You'll reply this time?"

Shoot.  Of course he would bring it up again.  If only I knew what he was going through, I wouldn't have shut him out.  I should've been a better friend.  Well, now I should be.

"If I'm not busy, yeah," was my half-meant answer.  Miles' warning interrupted my thoughts again.

"Except I know he doesn't want you to," Enzo muttered with a slight smirk that slanted his lips. "I don't blame him." He glanced at my reaction.

"What d'you mean?"

"Quite surprised you're still hanging out with me even after..." He itched his right brow and stared at his clenched fist between his muscular thighs. "Listen. I understand, if you want to keep your distance." He nodded slightly. "You should. I won't hold it against you or anything."

Okay.  Sheesh.  Now we were talking about it.  The incident.  Although I hoped we wouldn't, I could sense he had a lot to get off his chest concerning what happened back in San Pietro.

"And I know you don't want to talk to lawyers—you probably didn't even tell your mother or sister about it.  I wish you would, though."

"Enzo..."

"Just because it's the right thing to do. And it would teach him a lesson. Leo's just..." He shook his head and wouldn't look at me anymore. "Not telling you what to do. I just...I still feel so guilty about it, y'know?" he murmured with another frown.  "'Cause I know it's also my fault."

"No. None of it was your fault."

"I wish." He grinned for a second.  "But I know he wouldn't have tried to do that to you if I hadn't..."  He kept his gaze lowered to the floor and cleared his throat. "Been drinking too much that night."

"Huh? No—it wasn't your fault." I held back a sigh of discontent.  It seemed no matter how I explained it to him, he would still convince himself that he was responsible for his brother's reckless actions that night.

"Sorry."

"Enzo, it wasn't your fault."

"Agree to disagree."

"Let's just stop talking about it," I muttered before placing my arm on his shoulders.  "I'm more worried about you right now."

"Why?" Enzo budged to look me in the eye for a moment.  He wasn't scowling anymore, but his tone remained somewhat grim, and his breath still smelled of wine.  "Libby?"

"Yeah, and, 'cause if we keep talking about Leo, it's just gonna upset you more."  Same for me.

"Yeah." Enzo heaved another sigh and slouched again.  "That's not all of it, though."

"What d'you mean?" I murmured while squinting at his profile.

Clearly he had more to say.  Maybe he now wanted to vent about his issues with his family apart from his heartbroken musings.  "I try to distract myself with work and booze..." He scoffed loudly and grinned to himself.  "Doesn't help at all but I like to pretend it does."

"Yeah. I get it.  But it's not your job to keep an eye on him."  Did he really think he could talk his brother out of perpetuating his crimes?  By himself and with brotherly love alone?

Highly unlikely.  But it seemed he's always been this optimistic...almost as though he hadn't learned to keep his expectations low when it came to other people.

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Thanks." Enzo touched my hand that was on his shoulder.  "Middle child syndrome, I guess." He grinned at me and jokingly slapped his own forehead.

"Thought so," I retorted, suppressing my amusement at his dry humor.  At least he was cracking jokes now.  I poked the side of his waist and laughed when he recoiled.

He chuckled when I did it again. "How'd you know my most ticklish spot?" he asked with wrinkled brows.

"Wild guess and my astute powers of observation."  I squinted at his frowny face and inched my fingers closer to his midsection.

"Stop..."  He restrained a slight grin.

I giggled, glad I could cheer him up somehow.  I couldn't help but snicker as I watched him pout and cover the sides of his waist with his hands.

Shucks.  He looked so cute...almost in an innocent, unassuming kind of way.  Seeing him smiling again only encouraged me to make him laugh.

"Just wanna check if red wine makes you extra ticklish."

"Seriously. Stop..." He drew back when I sat closer to him.  He shielded himself with his muscular arms, chuckling at my threat to tickle him senseless.  "You don't want the bed to smell of wine piss."

"Okay. Let's just pray together," I suggested in a friendlier tone, gently holding his shoulder. "Just a short prayer. You cool with that?"

"Yeah." Enzo nodded weakly, seeming quite unsure and surprised.  He gave me a small smile, though.

Regardless of how he felt about it, I would still pray for him and his brother.  For Miles as well.  It just made me feel better at night, especially whenever my longtime friend 'Anxiety' attacked my peace of mind.

"Okay." I led the prayer with the Sign of the Cross and watched him imitate me.  I stared at the white wall, imagining there was an altar before us, and picturing our guardian angels watching over us right here in this room.

Although he and his family were also Catholic,  I wasn't sure he knew this prayer I wanted to share with him.  It was a short but powerful Latin prayer I had been taught back in Catholic school.  It often calmed me down whenever  the anxious thoughts took over.

"Crux Sancti Patris Benedicti," I began with my palms pressed together. "Crux Sacra Sit Mihi Lux. Non Draco Sit Mihi Dux. Vade Retro Satana. Numquam Suadeas Mihi Vana. Sunt Mala Quar Libas. Ipse Venena Bibas. Per Christum Dominum Nostrum. Amen."

"Amen," Enzo seconded with a slight furrow in his dark brows.  We were still sitting on the bed and he looked confused when he faced me.  "Latin?"

"Yeah." I smiled at him again. "Ever heard of it?"

"No. Translate it, please?"

"Sure. It's St. Benedict's prayer." I cleared my throat. "Crux Sacra Sit Mihi Lux would be: The Holy Cross be my light. Non Draco Sit Mihi Dux is: May the dragon never be my guide. Vade Retro Satana means: Get away, Satan. And Nunquam Suadeas Mihi Vana would be: Never tempt me with your vanities."

"Okay." He nodded and kept up a rather curious expression while listening.

"Sunt Mala Quae Libas is: What you offer me is evil.  Ipse Venena Bibas means: Drink the poison yourself. Per Christum Dominum Nostrum is: through Christ our Lord."

"Nice. Thanks." He grinned at me for a second.

"They say we could recite it whenever we feel spiritual oppression of any kind. But I also say it every day, before I sleep,  when I'm outside or traveling, when I'm about to start training, or with other people."

"Could you write it down? Or text me the prayer." Enzo grabbed his phone.

I smiled at him.  "Sure. It's quite easy to memorize. I'll save it on your phone."

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