◆ A Need To Feel ◆

× WARNING! ×

× GRAPHIC NSFW CONTENT BELOW NOT INTENDED FOR YOUNG READERS ×

◇ KEL ◇

It should be all over now.  This eventful night dragged on long enough.  My tolerance for all this mafia bullcrap was running out.  Pretty much stretched to its limits.

Pure exhaustion consumed me, depleting what's left of my energy, thinning out the little patience I had left.  "Just please let this long, stressful night be over..."  I repeatedly prayed in my head the past hour.

As I sat on the bed alone, the lights stayed off and the room remained quiet and tense.  Or it could just be me and my dear friend Anxiety again.

Where the heck's Miles?

Alessio pretty much dragged me back into this guest room after Mr. Falco left us in that cold basement.  I already made sure Niccolo wasn't in serious trouble after the torture he endured with impressive composure. Almost like...he was used to it all.  Disturbing to think about, but, at least it's all over now.

So far, Niccolo could still walk on his own when I left him. His breathing had returned to normal before Alessio dragged me up the stairs and brought me back in here.

"Just for your safety," was the guy's ridiculously vague excuse.  Still, I trusted Alessio the most among the Falcos' security staff.

My limbs and eyes were beyond tired but I just couldn't sleep by myself in here.  Not after everything that happened.

Some people were talking right outside the door now. Immediately, I recognized Miles' voice.  He swore at something and kept talking to his bodyguard in their native tongue.

"Miles?" I got up too quickly my dimmed vision spun a bit.  Just the sound of his voice gave me relief.

Someone pushed the door open.  The cool night air and some sliver of light streamed into the room.  My heart thumped heavily in my chest now.

Shadows darkened a tall figure, the faint lights outlining a guy's silhouette.

It was Miles.  Hundred percent.  I took a deep breath to calm my heartbeat. "Where you been?"

"You good?" he muttered as he walked straight towards me.  He gave me a hug.

A nod was my initial response before I hugged him tighter, finding extreme comfort in the warmth of his arms.  "Yeah. Just..."

"You're shivering."  Miles kissed my forehead.  His hand rubbed my back and arms repeatedly till the goosebumps ebbed away.

It calmed my thoughts better, easing the tightness in my chest.  He was totally unharmed.  Thank God.  "Is your Mamma okay?"

"Yeah. She's talking to Cloe and Ricchar."

"Why was your Pappa hurting Nicco?"

"Security issues."  Miles held my wrist and led me to the bed.  The room remained dark, silent, and rather cold.

His answer disappointed me, but I should just be thankful that he was fine and here with me again.  Merely thinking of his father's threats to my family's safety was enough to exacerbate my worries.  "Your Pappa told me to, um, meet up with Ilya," I confessed to cut off the tense silence.

"What?" Miles pulled a face and flicked the switch on the small bedside lamp.  It lit the room softly.  Then he sat beside me on the bed.  "Why?"

"I dunno, really." I stared at the dark carpet as he gripped my hand.  Why did he sound quite pissed?  "He made me talk to Ilya, on the phone. Ilya asked me if, we could meet in New York soon.  Next month, he said."

"You said yes?"

"Yeah," I replied after a moment of hesitation.  "I just didn't wanna upset him more."  Well, his father wielded a loaded gun earlier, but I wouldn't mention that anymore.  Luckily for me and Nicco, Mr. Falco only used the weapon to intimidate us, not take us somewhere we'd meet our Maker soon.

"What else did Ilya say?"  Miles' scowl etched more creases and faint lines on his brows and forehead.

"We just talked a little. Then I hung up," I muttered.

The conversation would just annoy him further, so, no more details.  When Miles only sighed in response, I sat closer to him to give him a hug.  I wrapped my arms around his chest.

He stiffened when I kissed the side of his warm face. I rested my cheek on his shoulder.  A cumbersome, nagging feeling in my chest told me he was getting quite uncomfortable with the intimacy, unlike earlier, but it only made me want to get closer to him.  I tightened my embrace.

Back when we were still living together, he would make sweet gestures without putting a lot of thought into it.  But, the past months, he would often act like he had the worst intimacy issues whenever I tried to make a move.  Especially when we weren't alone.

"Another clear indication that he's not ready for anything serious. So move on. Find yourself a better boyfriend," Gaia would say.

Maybe he thought it wasn't the right time for us to start a serious relationship, because I was living in New York and he had a lot going on in his life.

His current taciturn state implied he wanted to decompress tonight but just didn't know how.  He probably thought, it would be in my best interest that I didn't know much about everything else that bothered him.

His father's partnership with Enzo's family?  Mr. Falco's growing hatred for Niccolo?  Or maybe something about the Falcos' most recent business deals with the Tomassinis...

Every one of those could be the culprit, reducing his peace of mind day by day.  But of course Miles wouldn't unload his issues on me.  He still thought I had nothing to do with his problems.  He'd say they were "not my responsibility", as he'd reasoned before.

"Your Pappa told me to work for you guys, after I graduate," I muttered while I hugged Miles.  We sat still on the bed as my thoughts regressed to those grim moments in Ricchar's basement. That moment when Niccolo and I were stuck down there with Mr. Falco, digesting the man's threats at gunpoint.

"What'd you say to him?" Miles murmured with a scoff.

"I said yes, of course. He was still livid."  I loosened my hug.  "It felt like blackmail, really."

"No. He's just..."  Miles sighed and shook his head.  "Sorry."

"What? Why?"

"Don't take him seriously. He's just real pissed. There's some issues at the port and it's driving them nuts with paranoia."

"With your ships?"

"Some problems with tracking the new shipments." Miles stroked my forearm that pressed onto his chest.  "Sorry if he scared you, or something."

Although I appreciated that he was apologizing for his father's behavior and temper, utter confusion now replaced my anxiety.

Miles knew I had to focus on schoolwork, internship, and trainings for a couple more years.  But his dad told me to work for them as soon as I graduated.  Did Miles want me to live with him again in his house?

We didn't really talk about it the last time I left Italy.  I didn't expect otherwise.  He wasn't the vocal type when it came to his feelings. I didn't even know he also dated women until recently.

It was common knowledge among his family and friends that he wasn't the kind of guy who preferred long-term commitment.  But he'd been spending a lot of time with Nicco again.  They're probably working on something important, for the Falcos' businesses.  Some nights, though, I couldn't help but suspect they were back together.

While my thoughts digressed, Miles leaned in till his soft lips touched mine.  He cupped my face to kiss me properly when I stayed put on the bed.

The gesture surprised me. Why's he kissing me again?  I held my breath and closed my eyes.  Maybe he just needed some distraction to relieve the tension and stress after everything that happened tonight.

"I need some."  That was all he said before he pulled me onto him so I would sit on his lap.

"Huh?" I put my arms around his tensed neck and rested them on his stiff shoulders, appreciating how warm his skin felt against mine.  I held his face when he just kept looking into my eyes.  His breath slightly smelled of menthol cigarettes but I didn't mind. "Need some what?"

He squeezed the side of my waist and leaned closer until our noses touched.  "Your blood."

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