◆ Here For You ◆

◇ KEL ◇

"Hi. You hungry?" Enzo scooted closer to me as we sat in the backseat of a new Lexus. It must be his.  Or a rental.

It was six in the evening.  He just got out of the airport after a long flight and went straight here to pick me up after my shift.

"No. I'm good." I smiled at him. I reclined and hugged my bag, pasting a smile on my face.  No proper sleep. Growing list of schoolwork and responsibilities.  Poor appetite.  Another one of those days.  But seeing him again here in New York uplifted my spirits somehow.  "You?"

"I ate on the plane. You feel alright?" Enzo leaned in till his forehead touched my hair. He felt my neck to check my temperature, then kissed my right cheek in greeting.

"I'm fine," I muttered after his soft lips landed a little too close to mine.

To him, the kiss meant nothing. As usual. Just a quick hello. Nothing of substance.

For me, though, it's an entirely different story. If only I was a hundred percent sure he wasn't seeing anyone new, I'd kiss him back. But my cowardice prevailed.

"You look pale again."

"Just need a nap." I stayed put and glanced away from his attentive gaze.

"You sure?"

Two faint nods was my only response to his question giving off genuine concern.  My energy levels...just at an all-time low today.  I missed my friends.  Sadly, they're all busy with their own lives.  And then there's Miles.  I texted him to tell him to stop paying for bodyguards, but all he said in his reply:

"Okay sorry"

That's it.  No other explanations.  But yesterday he couldn't seem to stop texting me.  Just message after message all day.  Why must he always make me feel this confounded?

"Bellezza..."

"Thanks." I glanced at the guy beside me.  At least this one still acted like he actually cared.  Like I still mattered.  Like I was one of his priorities.

"For?"

"Being here."

"You said you wanted to meet up before the party, so..."

Yeah.  I invited him to my niece's christening and the party afterwards, and despite his busy schedule, he showed up a day early.  Just because I asked him to accompany me to a Mass tonight.

The lengths he would go to just to oblige my wishes, please me, ease my anxieties...  He should get an award for being the best on-call friend the past year.

"Did you want to see me, too, or..." I glanced at him. "Are you just being nice?"

"What?" Enzo grinned and scoffed when I didn't respond. "Is that a serious question?"

I hugged my bag again.  At least something kept me warm amid the growing coldness in my chest.  Too much disappointments and hurt feelings lately.  I wasn't even excited anymore for our upcoming graduation.  "Just say so. I don't wanna be a bother to you."

"You cold?"

Yes. I felt cold. Numb. Almost too numb to feel anything but the cold. It wasn't just the weather. My hormones must be on a level beyond haywire lately. And scary as the thought was, I was just too tired to care. Too exhausted by it all. Too jaded to conjure up positive thoughts.

Well, at least he was here now, ready to be used and abused.  Yep.  The past few weeks, I felt like he'd been avoiding me because I was asking too much from him, demanding too much of his time and attention, acting like he owed it to me.

Yet he still showed up. Every time I asked him to show up, Enzo didn't disappoint.

"Worse than cold," I murmured.

"Sorry." He sighed and told his driver to adjust the A/C. Then the dark partition rose to hide us from the driver's rearview.

"I should be the one apologizing."

"Why's that?" Enzo muttered. Now his hand's gently rubbing my arm to keep me warm.

"You're busy. But I keep needing you."  Most likely too often for his liking.

"What?" he murmured after a moment of silence.  "You alright? What's up?"

"Nothing." I shook my head faintly.

"Mykaela..."

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?"

Drats.  He'd never stop questioning me until he got a straight answer.  Like always.

"What?  Did something happen?"

"You're too good a friend." I turned to regard him. He seemed to be studying my every word and every move.  "Don't ever change."

"What?" Enzo chuckled.  Surprise? Or just plain amusement? "Seriously now. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just being dramatic, as usual." I inched closer to him, held in a sigh, and placed my head on his shoulder.  He could be dating someone new.  But, whatever.  I just needed a friend right now.  Badly.

"Hey. You can talk to me about anything." Enzo put his arm around me, hugging me close to him, his arm's grip tightening around my waist.  He smelled great. Like always. No surprise there.

What I wasn't ready for was his warmth.  It just...  Wow.  I could fall asleep in his hug.  Too bad I wasn't supposed to.

"Bellezza..."

"Just feeling a little unimportant."

"I can see that." He scoffed.  "But tell me why."  Enzo tightened his embrace, hugging me till his stubbled chin touched my temple.  If someone saw us right now, no doubt they would assume we're a couple.

"You'll just find it bothersome."

He tsk-ed.  "Don't keep me guessing."

I sighed and shut my eyes, savoring his nearness. Liking his hug too much. Wishing it wouldn't be over. It's something I shouldn't get used to, though. And I was fine with that. For now. "Thank you."

"Why?"

"You've always been so nice." I sat up and pulled back to stare at him, my throat and chest constricting, painfully aware that to him, being here was nothing but a friendly gesture.  I hugged him anyways.

"Sure." Enzo squinted. His tone sounded doubtful this time, but he still let me hug him. "But answer my question."

"Fine." How should I explain my latest psychological issues without boring him to death or bothering him with my melancholic bullcrap?

Ugh.  Well, he probably found out already if he met up with Miles before flying back here.  "Fine?"

"It's not even..."  I exhaled a long sigh, hugging him tighter.   "I mean, he just broke it off.  But we weren't even dating."

"Ah." Enzo snickered and grinned at me.  He looked quite relieved that I finally let the cat out of the bag. "Maxim again."

"Sorry."

"Why?"

"Sorry I'm annoying." I pressed my forehead against his firm, muscled shoulder to hide my face.  My tears might only make him roll his eyes at my post-breakup drama.  Then I would feel like a pile of trash.  "And needy."

"You're not."

"He said..." My voice wavered.  "It's for the best.  And he explained why. And I understood why he felt we shouldn't...  But,  I dunno. I wish he would just give it a try." I shut off the impulse to sob and hastily wiped my tears off, then cleared my throat to stop myself from sounding like a helpless teenager whining about my first breakup.  It wasn't even a real breakup;  it wasn't a proper relationship in the first place.

"So he dumped you?" Enzo's brows scrunched.

"We weren't even..." I palmed my face to smother a sob.

"Hey. It's alright."  He placed his arms around me to stroke my arm and back, consoling me as if he understood my pain right now.  He's probably an empath.

I noticed it the first months we'd been trying to get to know each other.  While I tried to stop the tears,  Enzo kept rubbing my back, keeping me warm in his arms.  Almost like he felt obligated to be my crying shoulder at the moment.  The best stress reliever.  For me at least.

When another red light stopped the car, he cleared his throat and shifted his sitting posture. Did he feel as awkward as I did?  Hopefully not.

"Sorry. I'm just..."  I wiped my nose and eyes with his handkerchief.  It smelled of him and his heady perfume. It had hints of rose, vanilla, and a minty kind of musk.  Ugh. Just intoxicating.  Slightly arousing, too.

"It's alright." Enzo grinned faintly while his warm hand flicked my hair away from my cheek.  "You feel any better?" he muttered after a stretch of silence.

"Yeah."  I took a deep breath. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Okay," was all I could say.  But good thing my chest no longer felt like I should strain to breathe properly. Also, my eyes and throat weren't stinging from the worthless tears anymore.  I wished there's a single button to  force reset my brain. Just to keep me from giving in to these pesky anxiety attacks.

Now he probably thought I was such a drama queen.  Ugh.  Well, he wouldn't be exaggerating.

I kept my mouth shut as I reclined beside him, covering as much of my face as I could.

Before the driver could step on it, Enzo tucked my bangs behind my ear and nudged my arm.  Perhaps just to make me look at his face again.  "Hey."

"Yeah?" I wiped my eyes dry again.

His grin widened.

I smiled at him as sincerely as I could. "What? I have somethin' on my face?"

"Nah. You're good." Enzo playfully pinched my chin and snickered when I pushed his hand away. "Want some ice cream?"

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