Chapter 39 Stay With Me

I want to ask what happened to him, but I remain silent. I lack the courage because I feel guilty about what I did. I know it's my fault; I didn't think through this decision well. Now that I've fallen for Rozzean, I don't know how to tell him the truth.

"I love you, Tali..." he whispered and I closed my eyes firmly. I felt the pain already of what I did.

He will surely be angry.

He will think I deceived and played with him.

"Thank you for being here with me."

He hugs me again. He holds onto me tightly, his head resting on my neck.

"Don't leave me, Tali. I don't want to be alone."

I bite my lower lip upon hearing his words. How can I leave this house? I can't leave him if he's like this with me. How do I tell him the truth?

"Thank you for coming into my life and making me feel whole."

I lifted my hand and gently stroked his hair. I bent down and kissed him on the head.

I can't believe what happened to us.

I came here as Tali and entered his house as a maid. I saw him naked on my first day. I thought he was a bad person, but he's not. Now, I regret this decision because I'm scared he'll hate me when he finds out my true identity.

The tears I've been holding back finally fell. How could I leave him and come back as Thaliana?

It's so difficult to leave someone in this situation, Rozzean, but I can't live as Tali. I need to go back and face you as Thaliana. I need to clear everything, apologize for my mistakes. But it's scary. I'm extremely scared.

This is the first time in my entire life that I've felt this afraid.

The fear I have now, when I tell him the truth, he might leave me.

"You won't leave me, will you?"

He pulled away from our hug and looked into my eyes. His facial expression seemed to be urging me to say yes. I didn't want to lie, Rozzean... it would only add to the pain.

"You won't leave my house, right?"

"You are not going to leave me because you said that you like me too. I wanted to know. I wanted to make sure."

My lips parted to answer him, but no words came out.

When Rozzean stepped back, I reached for his hand.

My lips gasped as a sudden reaction to his movement. I... got nervous.

Look at yourself, Thaliana. Look at how scared you are.

"Do you have plans?" He asked seriously.

I shook my head repeatedly. It's not like that. I don't want to leave. But I can't stay in his house as Tali, I can't stay in his life and love him as Tali the maid.

I need to come back here as Thaliana. Yes, I will leave, I'll return to my old life, but I won't completely leave him.

"N-No, not like that—"

He stepped back again, and I pulled his hand.

"What is it? Why do your reactions tell me that this is temporary?"

He raised his eyebrows at me. I don't want this, Rozzean. It's so difficult...

"R-Rozzean, it's just that our situation is not easy. What if your family doesn't accept me?"

I just need to find a reason to escape this conversation. That's it. But he seems really determined with me. With the kind of look he's giving and the firm grip he has on my hands now.

"I don't care. What if they don't accept you? I don't need the opinions of others or even my family about you, Tali. I've already said it; the only thing that matters to me is you and your decision. You want me too, right?"

"You love me... and you wanted to be with me?"

I nodded at him.

"Then, why? Why do I feel like everything is temporary because of what you're showing and saying to me?"

I'm starting to struggle with my situation, but I shouldn't complain. I have no one else to blame but myself.

I don't want to see Rozzean like this. It's like he doesn't know what to do while waiting for what I'll say. I lowered my eyes to my hands, which he's holding tightly now.

Just a while ago, I was the one holding onto him.

We don't want to let go of each other. But, Thaliana, you're the reason if Rozzean decides to let go of you.

"I-it's just that I can't stay here in your house, I need to go back for a while to where I came from, and--"

"No."

He let go of my hands. He gently held both sides of my face and brought his face close to mine.

"You're not leaving, you won't leave me."

I bit my lower lip at his words. I'll just be gone for a moment; I'll come back to him. I just need to return to clear up all the foolish things I did.

"I feel like once you leave my house, you won't come back."

I shook my head at him, "I love you too, but I can't stay here in your house as a maid if there's something going on between us. What will others say about you, and what about your reputation--"

"Then stay here with me not as a maid but my woman."

I was stunned by what he said.

"I told you, Tali. I don't care about what others will say. If that's what you're worried about, starting tomorrow, you won't work as my maid anymore. But I won't allow you to leave my house."

He's serious. He really wants me here. How can I come back if he's like this?

"Wherever you want to go, I'll accompany you. You can't leave alone."

Rozzean, please...

I can't think of any excuse to tell him. He has an answer for everything.

"Do you still doubt me?"

I shook my head while looking at him. The intensity in his eyes was heavy.

"Tali, I love you so much."

I lowered my head, unable to match the intensity of his gaze.

"I-I believe you."

It's just difficult, Rozzean. But because of my mistake and wrong decision, I find it hard to give you what you want – for me to stay in your house. I have a life as Thaliana.

I need to come back, but you are making it hard for me to decide now because of your hold.

It's so tight.

"Then, stay. Just stay here with me."

I took a deep breath, a sign of surrender. My plan to return and not finish the two months has changed. I can't let Rozzean be alone, to feel that he was alone again. But while I'm here, I need to gain his trust. And if ever I ask for permission to leave, maybe he'll allow me.

Maybe he'll change his mind.

"Please?"

I looked at him and nodded slowly.

"O-Okay, I'll stay here."

Damn you, Thaliana. You're weak.

"Thank you, baby," Rozzean said and quickly kissed me on the lips.

He's smiling again. I sighed deeply. This is what I wanted to see on his face, not the sadness I saw in his eyes earlier. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. What could have happened to him?

"Uhh..."

I glanced at Rozzean when I heard his voice. He's looking away. He's still naked. I bit my lower lip while looking at his body.

"Do you want to take a bath?"

"W-What?" I raised my eyes to him when I heard what he said.

I swallowed. Are we going to continue?

"U-Uh, yes," I stood up. But because the blanket was wrapped around me, I stepped on its edge, and I would have tripped if Rozzean hadn't supported me.

The problem is the blanket fell to the floor, exposing my naked body in front of him again.

I saw Rozzean's eyes look at my body. He swallowed hard. The desire in his eyes returned. If he wants to, why not? I fought against it earlier!

"Tali..."

I closed my eyes when he lowered his face to me and kissed me deeply on the lips. My hands moved up and touched his chest down to his stomach. My hands were busy tracing his body while Rozzean was pulling me closer to him.

When I felt him walking while supporting me, I opened my eyes.

Where is he going?

His lips slightly moved away from mine, and he smiled at me.

"Can I take back my words earlier, baby?"

"Maybe we can continue?"

Damn it, yes. I've given my permission a while ago!

"Let's take a bath together."

He didn't wait for my answer. He kissed me hard again. But before we could enter the bathroom and do intimate things, we heard a knock on the door.

Rozzean and I both looked at the door.

"Cyron, I can't wait for another hour."

Sh*t. Luther?!

"Get out of there and let's drink."

I saw Rozzean firmly close his eyes and take a deep breath. He moved away from me and grabbed the towel nearby, wrapping it around my body.

"Uhmm, I think you should go and bond with your brother," I said.

He harshly sighed. "I forgot about Luther."

"Go take a bath and rest, okay?"

I nodded slowly as he picked up his black shirt and put it on. He buttoned it, but I noticed that he buttoned it incorrectly. His hair was also messy.

"We all have time in my house to bathe together. I'll deal with my annoying brother now."

After Rozzean said that, he kissed me on the forehead. I thought he would turn away, but he kissed me deeply on the lips.

"O-Okay."

As he walked away and opened the door, I heard Luther's comment before they left.

"You can continue it later though."

Oh my!