055

Relieved, I turned around and leaned back against his chest so I wouldn't have to look at him, afraid something on my face would give me away; what I'd been ready to do.

"Tanner, would you mind if I got together with Kathy this afternoon? I'd like to speak to her about something."

"We're going to see them this evening. Can't it wait until then?"

"Then you and Stan will be around. This is girl stuff which I need to discuss with another female, not two randy males getting ready to play strip poker with two, soon to be naked, women."

"Getting tired of me already, huh? Need to ditch hubby on your honeymoon and get a girl fix."

"Not tired of you, dear," I turned back to kiss him. "Some things are best discussed with a female friend is all."

"It doesn't have anything to do with our strip poker game tonight, does it? We don't have to do it if you really don't want to, Brooke. It sounds like it might be fun, but I'm perfectly willing to skip it if you're uncomfortable playing."

"I've already said I'm willing, Tanner. This has nothing to do with tonight." It does have to do with last night and this morning and I'm ever so sorry, but I have to leave you now.

"If you must."

"Thank you, darling." I reached back to stroke his face. He nuzzled into my neck and kissed my neck, shoulder and ears.

One last time. One last time to love him before I said goodbye forever. "Take me into the bedroom and make love to me, Tanner."

I stood up and grabbed a towel, holding it over myself. He got out of the tub and dried off, his penis already starting to rise in anticipation. He didn't seem to care about the people in their watercraft a hundred to two hundred yards away. Why should he? He was a god of old, hard, chiseled from stone, magnificent in every way. I wondered why I should. It was my last day on earth. I didn't know anyone here. I dropped my towel and let him breathe me in, take in every molecule of my nudity as I'd done him. Taking his hand, I led him into the bedroom, wanting him to fill me in every conceivable way.

Sitting him on the bed, my mouth enveloped his cock, thick and hard. I took as much of him as I could, wishing I could take all of him, every inch of his spectacular instrument which had given me so much pleasure in so brief a time. I stroked his shaft, encouraging his growth, my other hand weighing the stones in his sack. I wish I could have given him a child, some particle of me he could keep.

I'd been so foolish, allowing myself to be pressured into what I'd done. Rushed, afraid, worried about what others might think. I should have trusted his love in the first place, never kneeling to take the cock of another man. I supposed my blackmailer might send his videos, his pictures, my shame; to Tanner in retaliation for my ruining his fun. At least Tanner would know why I killed myself and not hold himself responsible. He would hate me, the thing I'd become, but at least he wouldn't blame himself.

Fully hard now, I pushed him back on the bed and mounted him. Not completely prepared for him, the water from the tub helped ease his entry into me. Fully spearing me on his shaft, I waited for my body to catch up to his. To feel his heat and hardness, his thickness in the depths of me, releasing my fluids, preparing the way for him to have me. His hands palmed my breasts, rubbing and caressing, conjuring my juices, the slickness I required to ride him.

Ready at last, my body moved up and down Tanner's shaft, and I tried to imprint this feeling of fullness, this pleasant pressure in my mind, so it could be the last thing I remembered as I slipped away. I surrendered to him, his cock, my body shivering as the waves of ecstasy flowed through me. So good, so right, so perfect in every way. My cum made me wetter, and I rode him harder, faster, bouncing vigorously on his cock, striving to bring him with me, to feel him explode in me. He was breathing harder, and I leaned over to capture his breath, to feel it meeting mine, our lips touching. Tanner grunted, his wetness invaded me, adding to my own. I didn't stop. I was close again. My eyes closed and my pussy convulsed, milking his balls of his seed. I waited until my tremors stopped.

"Thank you, my love," I whispered. "It was exactly what I needed right now."

"The pleasure was all mine," he answered.

"Not all," I whispered. "I enjoyed it too." I laid full length on him, listening to the beating of his heart until his cock retreated from my body.

He started to stir. "Not yet, Tanner. Please lie with me a moment. I'll reward you for your patience."

Tanner relaxed and I felt his body go slack, his breathing settle, his heart slow, no longer driven by our need. For five minutes, I lay on top of him, remembering, wishing I'd had more time with him. One last thing I'd do for him. I got up and when he tried to rise with me, I pushed him back on the bed. "Not yet. I'm not finished."

I knelt over his penis, now limp, and gently cradled it in my mouth, tasting myself and him, finally able to take all of him. I cleaned him, removing the detritus of our love, not ceasing when he was clean, but feeling him grow again, filling my mouth. One last time I wanted him to spend over my tongue, to feel the heat, the saltiness, explode inside me. Gently, I coaxed him to his full length, coaxed the stirring in his sack; coaxed the eruption of thick cream into my throat to the sounds of his rapture, gathered it all, swallowing his offering. Now I was done.

Getting up, I sent a text to Kathy asking her to meet me at the pool in an hour where we'd become acquainted and to bring paper. I didn't take a shower. I wanted to smell Tanner and our passion on me as long as possible. When I was sure Tanner wasn't looking, I slipped the knife and pen into my purse. I put on one of my more modest suits, not wanting my demise to be more lurid than it would already be. When it was time to leave, I kissed Tanner on last time, putting as much of my heart and soul into it as I could, hoping he would remember his last kiss from me with fondness.

"I'll see you later, Tanner," I lied; the last of many lies.

"Okay, honey. Have fun. Tell Kathy I said I'll see her tonight."

"Of course you will." Maybe she and Stan would be willing to let her comfort you. I could ask her.

I walked up to the pool, finding the grotto where we'd been before. It was still deserted. Good, I didn't want to look for another place and this was as pretty a place as I could find to spend my last minutes on earth.

Kathy arrived a few minutes after I did. She was topless, assuming we were going to be sunning ourselves.

"Hey, Brooke. What's up? Why did you need paper? They have stationery paper in the desk."

"I threw mine in the disposal so Tanner wouldn't see it."

"Why would you care if Tanner saw paper?"

"It had a suicide note on it."

"Fuck, Brooke. What the hell were you thinking?"

"The same thing I'm thinking now. I need to end it. I can't live my life like this, Kathy. It's too much. I'm so ashamed of myself. I don't want to keep doing what my blackmailer wants me to do. I can't. It's only going to get worse and worse and I can't see an end for myself. I will be forced into ever more degrading things, all in the hope Tanner won't learn of what I've already done and each one of them will be worse. Each new one will force me into doing another, even more humiliating and demeaning act. It will never end and he will probably learn of it all anyway. I will have saved myself only time with him, all so he can hate and despise me more when he finally knows what I've done. I can't do it anymore."

"Suicide isn't the answer, Brooke. It's a permanent ending to a temporary problem."

"There's nothing temporary about this, Kathy. He has me by the throat and will keep shaking me until I'm dead."

"There has to be another answer. Killing yourself isn't it."

"I've wracked my brain for anything else. I don't even know who he is or how he's taking pictures of me. Well, I suppose I know how he got the last ones. I didn't even check for security cameras last night, I was so wrapped up in what I was being forced to do. Every second of my fucking humiliation clearly recorded and condensed down to eight minutes right up to where I begged to be fucked by two strangers on my honeymoon. What else would you have me do? I can't stand my life now. I've made my peace with it."

"Let me see it, Brooke."

I opened the text and let her watch me degrade myself for the second time.

"Jesus," was all she said when it finished.

"I can't live my life like this anymore. I want you to make sure Tanner knows it's not his fault. I hope he never finds out the details, but make sure he doesn't blame himself, even if you have to tell him why I've killed myself. It's my own fault."

I pulled the knife and pen from out of the beach bag and asked for the paper.

"I can't let you do this, Brooke. You'll have to kill me first."

I looked at her. "I know you're trying to be a friend, but a friend would know when my life has spiraled out of my control. If not now, I'll do it soon, when I've returned to Georgia. You can't stop me forever. I would like it to be now so you can tell Tanner it's not his fault, but I'll wait if I have to. I'd even like you to hold my hand, but if you're here when they discover my body, they might hold you responsible for failing to stop it. Just give me the paper and walk away."

"Brooke, no. Don't do this. You can't."

"What am I living for, Kathy? My utter ruination? The loss of every ounce of respect I have for myself? The looks of disgust and shame on the face of every person I love when they learn what I've done? That's no life. Better to end it now so I never have to see what I become if I continue."

"What if you could get it to end; to stop it before you reached that point?"

"How? I don't even know who's doing this to me. I'm not even sure who my friends are anymore. I can't speak to anyone about it. If I go to the police it will all come out."

Kathy thought for awhile. "What if you hired a private detective? Someone who could find out who's doing it to you? Maybe they could make it stop. They could keep your information confidential and if you knew who it was, maybe you could end it. It's another way, a better way than suicide."