Chapter 41
Hayden
I blinked as the bright white lights burned at my eyes.
Sebastian's blurry image slowly became clear.
I stared at him as he made his way over to me
"You are awake, how do you feel? "
I lay on the bed confused for a mom, the unmistakably smell of antiseptics and sanitizer filtering into my nostrils.
Why am I in a hospital?
I searched my brain but everything was blank for a moment, it took about five seconds before it came flooding like a surge of waters.
She'd left.
She left me.
With the thought I managed to a sitting position, the sudden motion making blind spots appear in my head for a moment.
"Where is she? " I rasped, unable to keep the desperation out of my voice, my throat dry and scratchy but that was the last thing I cared about.
His gaze settled briefly on mine, silently he walked to the nearby stand to pour water into a glass before making his way back over to me.
My veins thrummed with tension at his silence, it was unbearable.
"Have a drink, you've been unconscious for so long, about six days precisely, the doctors said everything was fine but you still didn't ask...."
I knocked off the glass from his outstretched hand sending it flying against the tiled hospital floor, the sound of its splintering pieces echoing the whole room.
"Cut the crap! I fucking asked you something! " I growled out and ended off in an uncontrollable fit of coughs.
He produced another glass of water in a haste and was by my side the next second, I grudgingly accepted it from him, my patched throat eased as I downed the entire glass and handed it back to him.
"You are still recovering, do you want me to send for the doctor? Dad was worried sick, he only left a moment ago ... I was also worried. Your life was at risk only because of her....."
"Where is she! " I repeated pinning him with a hardened gaze.
"I think you already know. She's gon...."
"Don't fucking say it! " The sound escaped my throat as I struggled to get off the bed.
I already knew what he was about to say but I couldn't bear to have it confirmed.
His expression was grim as he continued anyway.
"lie still, you are only going to reopen your wounds, she's already left. Never coming back, you should focus on getting well now.. "
He spoke in a casual caring tone but I don't want any of that.
Right now I felt like my insides were being pricked by a million needles.
"No!" I choked on a harsh breath.
"I understand that you are hurt but you still have to recover"
"You don't understand, this pain means nothing, I just want her ..she can't leave me I... I.. "
She was the only person I craved for... the wrenching pain couldn't even compete with my bullet wound, even if I was shot a thousand times more.
"Just calm down, your condition is only going to get worse if you keep being like this "
"You don't understand, I fucking can't live without him...."
"You'll get over her, she's just one person and she's dangerous to your well being, I told you before that whatever you feel for her is unhealthy, it's ruining you "
"Damn you! " I clenched out, a bead of sweat forming on my forehead, my knuckles turned white from gripping the edge of the bed too tightly.
I wanted to kill somebody, destroy everything..every nerve in my body throbbed with it ... but I was still too weak, I was draining out with everything little effort, I couldn't even straighten myself to my feet.
Lying here so helpless was worse than death itself
Just like that other night she'd left me.
It felt like my insides were covered by a dark smoke that was threatening to choke me up from deep within.
"You don't know shit! unhealthy or not I want her back with me, she's fucking mine! " I breathe out panting heavily.
Our heated gaze clashed against each other for a long time, none of us willing to break the stare.
"It was you. You helped her leave, you're supposed to be my brother!! "
He stared at me not bothering on denying the fact.
"I did what I did because you're my brother... Also, Dad was here, He knew you were injured because of her. if he had.... "
"Bullshit! " I snapped cutting off whatever he was about to say.
He sure as hell didn't deny helping her leave but I'll be damned if I listen to any frigging excuse he had to give.
"There's no excuse and you know it. You were already planning this before we burst in on Matteo, I being unconscious only presented the right opportunity isn't that right?"
His silence was the answer I needed.
He took a quick breath running his fingers through his hair, a look of frustration crossed his face.
"I only wanted to help you get rid of your weakness, you could have died, you are my brother, how could I not care about you? You could have fucking died! " he grounded out, a vein ticking in his jaw.
I closed my eyes trying to keep even my breaths.
Even now the need to see her burned through my veins.
He was fucking wrong. ..
This craving... Obsession and dark desire that seeks to burn me from within.
It runs too deeply, even on to the innermost darkest part of me, it couldn't be gotten rid of that easily.
It wouldn't end until we are both consumed by the flames
"She doesn't want you, that's why she chose to leave. You fucking want her back? Then you gotta get up from this god damned bed and stand on your feet once again. "
"I'll go tell dad you're awake " with that he turned and left in quick strides, slamming the door close behind him.
I allowed myself to fall back on the bed and closed my eyes as the weakness settled in.
The corners of my eyes prickled with a burning sensation, I dragged In deep breaths, the darkness was closing in on me once again.
In the end, it was me who got broken, she took my very soul along with her into the night.
Sebastian was only right about one thing, I need to get back on my feet. I need to recover completely.
Then I'm going to find her no matter how long it takes.
The world is a tad too small to hide her from me forever.
And when I do find her...
