Chapter 45
Gracie
I turned around at the familiar voice to be met with the gaze of my older sister...... or should I say former?
Ashley.
We stared at each other silently for what felt like an eternity but could only be few seconds in reality
"It's been so many years, I just caught sight of you and... " She trailed off breaking the silence.
Often at times in the past, I had always imagined that this day would come when my past would catch up with my presence.. about what I would do... what I would say if I ever bump into my old family.
It was rather strange that right now I had nothing to say.
Staring at her right now reminded me of all the things I wanted to forget...
The forbidden things that I just wanted to remain buried.
She looked the same as I remembered, just a little bit older, I guess six years wasn't that a lot of time.
"You changed, for a moment I almost didn't recognize you " she spoke a smile playing on her lips.
"Yeah you too " I replied coldly and watched her smile falter a bit, she shouldn't sound like this was some family reunion because it was anything but that.
I wanted nothing so much than to leave her presence which was exactly what I did.
"Gracie wait!." She called out after me
"What do you want! " I snapped right after her.
I saw something akin to hurt flashed across her features but didn't ease my icy demeanor the least bit, she wasn't expecting me to welcome her open arms was she?
"Mom is dead " She started blinking back tears.
That was enough to stop me right dead in my tracks, whatever I expected her to say it definitely wasn't this.
I slowly turned around to meet her teary-eyed expression.
I shouldn't care,...I shouldn't feel anything for these people who betrayed me.... who sold me out. But when would I ever learn?
"She died last week from a heart attack " She continued
I clenched my fingers around my bag trying not to feel anything ...but still
"She wasn't the same anymore after you left "
"I left? I think that quote of yours needs to be rephrased "
She stared at me briefly before averting her gaze and stared downwards.
"She never forgave herself for everything, believe it or not, she wasn't a part of everything that happened to you .....It was all dad, do you know that he even left us after....we had no choice but to move back to our old town "
I didn't want to hear this.....
"You should know her better than anyone, she even loved you more than me...so how could she.. "
"Just stop it! " I hissed out feeling tears gathering at the corners of my eyes.
Why was I standing here and listening to her words in the first place?
"You really don't care at all? Not even the least bit? "
I averted my gaze from her searching ones. I took a moment to gain my posture and met back at her gaze.
"You are right, I don't want to know anything about your family, sorry but I have to leave " I clasped my bags firmly and sidestepped her.
"Her burial is next week Friday, it would be great if you could make it Gracie " her last words followed me as I walked out of the mall.
The fresh air hits my face and I could breathe once again, just now it had been so clogged up.
I hastily made my way to the car and drove off.
I wiped off tears with the back of my sleeves
I don't care anymore.
It wasn't any of my business...it wasn't.
Mom was really dead? How could she die just like that?
She didn't even see me for the last time.
I never even got to ask her the reason why she gave me up so easily after raising me for eighteen years.
Why did everything just end so abruptly?
I never even got a chance to tell her how much I hated her...
Hated them...
She had said mom wasn't part of it all.
It was all lies, I shouldn't allow myself to fall for them.
I drove the car to a stop and dabbed at my eyes, my heart was a mess of emotions, anger and sadness flow through my veins.
Sadness at the sense of loss that washed over me and anger at the fact that I still cared especially when I know that I shouldn't.
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Ashley's words kept replaying in my head repeatedly the whole full day, I would often catch myself in a dazed state, I think Hazel noticed something different in me because she's been giving me the look.
'She is going to be laid to rest next week'...it would be great if you made it ...'
Was I even contemplating going back to our old town?
Seriously what was wrong with me?
I couldn't ever forget not to forgive their betrayal, six years ago I almost died because of it.
Not to mention about HIM.
The thought of him discovering me and Hazel filled me with outright panic. I needed to be more careful if I ever wanted to keep Hazel and me safe.
Today I had bumped into Ashley...she'd easily recognized me, what would I have done if it had been Hayden I bumped into?
I couldn't ever go back even if I wanted to...
I winced aloud when I felt a sharp pricking pain in my finger, I looked down to see it bleeding slightly, I pushed aside the tray of unpeeled potatoes.
"You cut yourself, mommy! " Hazel exclaimed staring up from her color notes.
I shot her a tiny reassuring smile as I washed my hands off in the running tap water
"It doesn't hurt a bit" at least the pain I felt was centered on my heart and not my finger.
A huge pout settled on her face as she made her way over to me.
"You are lying again mommy" She pointed out at my bleeding finger
I straightened down to her height
"You are right baby, it does hurt mommy a lot, but it will feel a lot better if you blow on it," I said brushing back the hair that had fallen over her face with my other hand.
"Then I'll blow on it, the pain will go away," she said nodding eagerly
"Better now? " she asked staring at me hopefully as she had just performed some magic of some sort.
I beamed brightly at her, how could it not? Just her presence alone was enough to cheer me up and allow me to forget the pain in my heart.
Ever listening to Ashley's words was a huge mistake and I felt like I would be making an, even more, bigger one.
It will only be for a few hours, I will only go there secretly, no one would find me out. ..
I will make ensure to be careful about it.
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