Chapter

‘‘What do you think it was then? To me, it was a fuck with a means to an end. I needed you quiet and rational and it worked, get over it.’’ He sounds so cold it stabs me in the heart multiple times. Eyes the palest grey and devoid of humanity, reminding me of the bastard that he really is, and it sobers my insanity right up.

Aware there are eyes in this room and he’s right. I am making a complete fool of myself by practically sobbing at his feet.

‘‘I won’t see you anymore, will I? You’re washing your hands of the problem and sending me anywhere you won’t have to deal with me.’’ I sound broken and I feel worse, it’s like I can barely breathe.

‘‘Go upstairs and pack your shit. Mico is taking you to the airfield at seven.’’ Alexi brushes me off, swiping my hand away that had still been clinging to his jacket like a lost child and I just burst out crying irrationally.

‘’If you make me go then I’ll talk. I’ll tell about everything you do, I’ll go to the feds and fuck up your life.’’ It's stupid desperation, a crazy woman’s attempt to cling on to someone who doesn’t want her and it’s completely the wrong thing to say. I know as soon as it comes out of my mouth that I am completely fucking stupid in every way.

Alexi spins on me in an angry flash, grabs me by the throat and walks me backwards at speed with so much force I smash into the door of the nearest boudoir and almost wind myself. It’s fright more than agony and I flail and grab his wrist as he pins me to the door with all the aggression of the monster I know he can be.

‘’Do you forget who you’re threatening?’’ He snarls it right in my face so his breath fans my mouth and I gulp, sobering my dramatics. I quiver under that hateful penetrating glare, trembling with fear.

‘‘One snap and I wouldn’t even miss you, so don’t push me and just take your chance to get the fuck out of my life. Run as far away from me as you like because this time, you have my blessing.’’ It’s so controlled and low. Deadly serious, that tone I have always been afraid of and that look in his eye he had after he took care of that man in his office.

He’s a stone-cold killer and I should know better than to rage a war against him. I sob, not so much from the force of his grip because he’s not really hurting me, choking slightly, but that’s clearly not his goal. It’s more from the shock of his aggression and the cruel bite of his words in my face. Growling, cold and hateful like he’s always been, I shouldn’t even be surprised.

‘‘I don’t want to go,’’ I whisper it weakly, pathetically feeble and considering what he is doing to me so stupid. He just drops his hold on me, so I fall into a slump at his feet with the sudden release. My body giving in completely.

‘’I don’t give a shit what you want. I want you gone. You have done nothing but cause me headaches from day one, and I can’t deal with you anymore. You’re no fun anymore, London. This got pitiful and boring.’’ He just looks like he means it and everything I had inside of me that was clinging to any tiny hint of light, falls to ashes.

‘‘Why did you save me … any of those times?’’ Tears pour down my face as I sit on the floor looking up at him brokenly, nothing left of me anymore, and I just want to know why he even bothered. Alexi looks down at me with disdain across that face. Moves back so his foot isn’t touching me and just shakes his head at the distasteful sight I make in front of him.

‘‘You had a use, now you don’t. That’s all it has ever been.’’ Alexi doesn’t wait for me to respond; he turns and walks towards Joanne and takes her by the arm without looking back and possessively tugs her away with him towards the main entrance. His new squeeze and plaything has no idea what is coming her way.

‘’Alexi … how can you say that to me?’’ I call after him in one last-ditch attempt to appeal to that softness somewhere inside of him. I don’t want to believe it was all an act. My crushing heart cannot accept it, it hurts too much.

‘’Because it’s true. Stop overvaluing your worth to me. You’re nothing but a whore.’’ It’s like being shot in the heart at close range, calling me that … labelling me as that again. He knows how to really wound with very few words. I break down and just fall to the floor, my face eating carpet, but I don’t care.

All those years I endured so much. I held myself together through the worst kind of abuse and depravity. I endured violence and broken bones more than once at the hands of people who were supposed to care for me. I held my shit together when I got to America, living on the streets with no money or shelter for months on end, starving and cold and getting sick from being dirty after my father sent me running. I survived everything life has ever thrown at me and yet … One man!

One twist of fate that put me in his lap, and he has managed to destroy all of me with just his words. Left sobbing on a club floor, and left to his minions to get rid of me. Throwing me out with the rubbish.