Chapter 175

I guess Alexi is sensitive to head injuries given what happened with Gino, and this isn’t really about me at all. He just happens to get panicky over people dying from brain injury, I guess.

‘I’m fine. I just need you to leave,’ I call out softly. I don’t think I have the energy anymore to even get up.

‘I told you. I’m not going anywhere without you. I’m not leaving you here.’ He sounds determined and I just get agitated once more—our roundabout of emotions and moods that never ends.

‘Jesus Christ Alexi!’ I get up, despite the effort it takes, yank the chair away from the door and pull it open with force, to be faced with him standing, leaning both hands against the frame, so I walk right into his space as he stands bracing himself. It’s a bit like getting slapped in the face being suddenly assaulted with him in such an up-front manner. I practically bang my nose on his chest but I don’t show that it rattles me.

‘Why?’ I implore, exhausted with him already and it’s been less than an hour in his company. I forgot how tiring he can be and how infuriatingly stubborn when his mind is set on something.

Alexi’s eyes run over my face and I swear I see a tiny flinch as he gets a fresh look at the mess of it in this light. We are directly under a weird lamp that overhangs my bedroom door and probably the brightest spot in the apartment. Eyebrows dipping, he flexes that square jaw before looking back into my eyes. He hesitates, a long pause as he just stares at me, that brain obviously whirring and clicking away.

‘I need you in my club.’ He’s the one who moves away this time, and before I get a chance to say anything else the carpenter opens the door and walks in, breaking the tension that’s thick enough to cut with a knife.

‘Door shuts and I fitted a new internal lock and handles on each side. I put some of your dead bolts back on with a wooden panel to strengthen the wood and straighten it out, and will get to the windows when your man returns with the catches from my workshop.’ He draws us away from our conversation.

‘Thanks. Mico will settle the bill when he gets back.’ Alexi turns to him and walks towards the man to check the door, opening and shutting it himself and trying the locks as he inspects its strength. He looks for a moment, completely at home, taking command and supervising something and it serves to remind me of who he is.

‘Put every bolt back on and maybe a couple more, can’t be too safe right?’ He throws me a look over his shoulder and I just roll my eyes at him, turn and walk back into my room and sit on the bed to steady my shaky legs. I think my body has finally lost the fight, and I have no idea how I am still standing. I sink into the semi-hard mattress dejectedly, picking at the bobbled blanket while trying to zone out from reality for a few minutes, to get some respite.

It all feels surreal and like I’m not really here. I am that sleepy.

A few hours ago, he was a distant memory and now he’s here throwing orders around and taking over like he always does; Taking command, filling the atmosphere with his dominant presence.

It’s like no time has passed and I just want him gone so I can breathe. He makes it near impossible to think straight. It’s too easy to sit back and fall under his care when it’s like this and I know he will keep weakening me to the point I end up agreeing to anything. He’s too potent to be around, and I am too feeble to stay standing for much longer.

I look up when movement at my door attracts my attention and catch him standing there, leaning against the frame and looking at me again. I must have zoned out from tiredness to not have heard him come back. And just gaze at him with the heaviest and slowest of exhales.

‘What now?’ It’s quiet, low, defeated because I’m just too tired for this shit.

‘It’s an open offer—for when you change your mind—IF you change your mind.’ His tone matches mine in terms of gentleness and lacklustre. Alexi is relenting, backing down, and now I know something is up with him. Alexi NEVER backs down, ever. I don’t think it’s in his DNA to do so and I squint at him suspiciously.

‘Why are you being so weird?’ It’s out of my mouth before I put my brain in gear and I curse myself for it. I can never just shut up, let him say his peace and leave … can I?

‘A lot can change in four months … maybe I just realise that I made mistakes in how I treated you.’ He frowns at me with a hint of a smile that brings out one dimple and it shakes me a little. A reminder of that charm he has tucked away and how well he uses it to his advantage. Like a bucket of icy cold water tossed in my face.

‘Too little, too late. Should have figured out what you had when it was still yours. It isn’t anymore. You gave me my freedom and I’m not handing it back. We’re going around in circles so maybe just admit defeat and leave.’ I shake my head at him, trying to ignore the pain in my gut from his words and just pray Mico comes and takes him away soon.

Alexi just keeps staring at me relentlessly with that infuriatingly unreadable face, and despite all he has been, I don’t feel the fear like I used to when faced with Mr Unemotional.

I don’t care what he’s thinking about, he has no power over me anymore. Since he arrived, I have thrown things at him, slapped him and shoved him around, and he has yet to actually retaliate in any way. Something tells me he isn’t going to; I don’t know how I could know that, but I can feel it. Something has changed in his behaviour; I should stop questioning it and thank my lucky stars he’s playing nice … not that I trust it.

Almost like I willed it, I catch Mico’s voice as he walks in behind Alexi and appears at the door too. Like a saviour in the midst and I’m rushed with relief and genuine happiness to see him back. My body sagging finally, knowing I can relax once more, and he might finally remove this thorn from my side.

‘Hey, I’m back. Is she coming with us?’ He sounds bright and weirdly cheerful for such an early hour in the morning. It annoys me that he also expected me to jump and run after Carrero like a sad little puppy; I grit my teeth and give him an unamused look.

‘No, she is not,’ I answer for myself and throw him an accusatory glare. Mico was meant to be on my side, not pairing up with his freakishly similar looking cousin on this. He’s the one who told me to break free of this life and start over.

Why the hell is he back pedalling now?

Alexi and Mico pass some sort of look at each other and Alexi turns and walks back into the other room, leaving me staring at my so-called friend and I wonder what the heck that was. Some silent ‘communicado’ between gangsters and Mico is taking over? It’s unusual for Alexi to step out of a discussion when he isn’t winning. Mico sighs and comes in to sit on the bed beside me without invitation, but it’s not like I can be bothered to refuse. I have barely enough in me to move from the bed anymore.