Chapter 235

Alexi is avoiding me. Party in full swing on our first night and I am completely in control of the event. I would go as far as saying our first night is a success, minus one tiny little detail …

Tyler, my ex-drug dealer, that beat me half to death has come as a guest; I was too preoccupied because of Alexi to check the bloody guest list before coming down here to see. Joanne, the tit of a girl, obviously ignored the list of banned names when looking through this, or else it was deliberate, and she’s in need of a good slap. It just adds a level of extreme anxiety to my night and has me looking over my shoulder constantly always aware of where he is.

I may have nothing to fear from him anymore, but he still tried to kill me and that won’t just go away. My stomach is swirling with nerves knowing he’s here, and I just cannot relax. I keep biting my lip and picking my nails and then scalding myself for showing my unease so obviously. I’m better than this and need to get with the program.

So far, I have caught him looking my way more than once and I hope he has the sense to stay away from me for the rest of the night. I’ll have security beat him to death if he comes too close to me. He’s getting black-listed after this and Alexi doesn’t seem to have noticed him either.

Alexi is being who I expected him to be though, no surprises there on that front. He’s sitting among a bunch of suited and booted men, deep in conversation, with a woman gyrating on the table amidst them all. She keeps lifting her leg and sliding her foot over Alexi’s shoulder to draw his attention seductively, but so far, he hasn’t actually moved her from table to lap.

Not that I am keeping tabs on him across the room or anything.

He isn’t knocking her back either and the other brunette who keeps sliding up beside him to stroke the tattoo on his neck and flirt shamelessly isn’t getting rebuffed at all. He hasn’t returned the favour, but it doesn’t mean he won’t. Alexi likes to work up to picking a playmate and then will just swoop on one and take her off to be screwed mercilessly. I did what he wanted and plied him with 3 brunettes who are under orders to play up to him, pander and pet. If he screws them I don’t want to know. They are not from our pay packet but one time hires for tonight. I wanted him to think I just didn’t care at all, and so far, he doesn’t seem all that interested in them, surprisingly.

I seem to be more torn up and bothered about them and I should just stop looking his way altogether.

He can do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants. I don’t care.

If I tell myself that enough times maybe the heavy slicing pain in my chest will finally fuck off.

I watch the room, intermingle with guests and keep tabs on the flow of booze and food. Like before, it’s security that passes out product, and they know the limit per member when it comes to the substances. They are on specific orders to keep tabs on volume. It’s back in place. Keeping everyone merry, not wasted and avoiding overdoses.

We want them pliable, not dead.

‘You look pretty.’ Mico sidles up beside me, eyes scanning where Alexi is sitting, always aware of his cousin and always protecting him, even on a party night. It’s a sense of reassurance knowing Mico is ever watchful and always on guard.

‘Thank you. It was a tad extravagant, but I figured tonight was a special night.’ I run my hands down my sparkling dress which keeps catching in the lights and giving off tremendous little flickers and shimmers as I move. You can’t miss me in the room anyway; I’m like a disco ball.

A classy one, I hope.

‘Back at war, huh?’ He nudges me and then nods at Alexi, who catches my eyes on him and I look away quickly.

‘Don’t know what you mean. It’s all business over here,’ I answer airily. I won’t show even Mico that he’s getting to me. I am done being second guessed when it comes to my feelings for that man.

‘Sure, it is. You two are so alike sometimes, it’s terrifying.’ He watches Alexi intensely and I focus on his profile instead as he then scans the room and comes back to my face.

‘Please … I am not a raving sociopath who beats people out of some sense of ownership.’ I feel a little insulted to get that comparison.

‘He doesn’t think sometimes, Camilla. He reacts. Jealous and overprotective … You care about him, he cares about you, yet for some reason, neither of you are capable of putting down the guns for five minutes to see what could be.’ Mico looks right at me with a frown across that handsome brow as though trying to push the point, and I just shake my head at him. Wrinkling that forehead as his frown deepens but it just annoys me on some level and I sigh heavily at him.

‘It’s frustrating to watch.’ He adds with a nudge against me as though it’s going to soften me in some way.

‘That’s a lie … I told him I loved him, then he let me use HIS gun on MY self. Please don’t try to make me feel something for him again. It’s dead … this is only about the club, or else I wouldn’t be here. What he did in Miami was inexcusable and controlling, as usual; Nothing else.’ Despite how cold I sound, Mico has touched a nerve and any time I think about that night I get the same panging ache in my heart. That little hurt I just cannot let go of.

Alexi hurt me, he broke me, and when I threw myself at his feet, he let me rot. It’s the one factor that keeps me clinging to my loathing of the man.

I won’t ever forget that and it’s behind every resentment I feel for him. If he cared about me, even a tiny ounce of a sliver, he would have come to the hospital to see if I was okay … but he didn’t. Cracked my skull and left me there, after pushing me to the verge of dying. He didn’t have enough remorse to even muster being by my bedside for thirty seconds, to make sure I would live, and it’s with me all the time.

Mico exhales heavily, clearly frustrated.

‘Camilla, open your eyes. Alexi doesn’t waste his time on people he gives no shits about, yet he protects you at every turn. The girls … he’s obviously no interest in them, so I am guessing he asked for them to just piss you off.’ He nods back his way a lot more forcefully.

‘What are you talking about?’ I turn to Alexi and watch him for a moment as he pushes the brunette who’s slid onto his lap off, and shoves her away harshly. No nice and friendly manner when dealing with fuck buddies anyway. Picks up his drink and puts his foot on the table so she can’t do it again. He doesn’t look like a man who is enjoying the female adoration, and as he is normally exactly that type of man, it stops me in my tracks. I have no response.

Maybe he’s just not in the mood and maybe they aren’t his type.