Chapter 345

The thought crosses my mind and I immediately push it away again as stupid and impulsive. It’s a manipulation for an outcome, and I shouldn’t even think of doing it for that reason.

I should want to marry him because I love him. At this point in our journey, we are clawing at some honesty to build something real, and here I’m deviously thinking of a plan to use what he is to me for my own ends.

After everything we have gone through, lies and games, manipulation and misunderstandings. It would ruin us if I used this to get what I want. I don’t want to harm what we have growing between us. I want to be trusted and to trust him. I can’t ask him to never betray me and then do exactly that.

Isn’t that what we are trying to learn to do? Isn’t that why he is trying to show me he can be someone else just for me?

It’s there though. In my brain swirling around and I wonder about it a little too long. Guilt eating at me rapidly inside as I honestly ponder it with some real depth.

Mico would know if it was a possibility. He wouldn’t lie to me. And Mico would carry out the order should I command it as Mrs Carrero. I know he would. He respects the code of their family as much as Alexi does, and now it’s in my head, I can’t stop turning over the idea with a real invested interest.

“I didn’t move you from the south to Vegas to have you give me doubts. Are you sure you are up to the task of taking direction and running my Casino?” Alexi’s stern tone wades in over my thoughts, bringing me back to the fact they have still been talking while I zoned out, and I watch the two brothers shift in their chairs. One looks uneasy while the more combative just looks moody. I don’t know what else I missed, but that tension is still in the air and Alexi is no more relaxed than when he was delivering death threats.

“We spent years on the outside of the family, it takes some adjusting coming back into the fold and having to toe the line under a younger cousin.” Rob has lost that arrogance and seems almost submissive in his approach now and I wonder about the history there. What actually went on in this family to cause a rift.

“Ladies. I suggest you all go powder your nose before dinner comes to the table. We need a few minutes.” Alexi casts an eye around the table, obviously needing to chat this out with his cousin away from an audience of inferior women, and I almost jump in fright as the other three leap to it and vacate like scared little rabbits. I guess the tension of the conversation had them all poised to flight. I, on the other hand, raise a brow at my commanding man and catch his eye, with that hint of refusal brewing inside. Despite myself, I just cannot back down and obey him when he throws orders my way, it’s a knee-jerk reaction I can do nothing about.

Alexi’s stern expression softens as he turns to me smoothly. He leans in close, so his mouth grazes my ear, his breath fanning my cheek intimately; to the men, it looks like a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye.

“Please, baby. I need a few minutes alone with them.” It’s softly spoken, for my ears only and pulls a huge satisfied smile to my face. Purring like a Cheshire cat as I lean back to lock adoring eyes on my hunky specimen and overflow with stupid joy at such a simple thing.

“He’s learning!” I mock sweetly as I too push my chair back and give him an appreciative peck on the cheek to reward him for being a good boy. Slight lipstick marking him for his efforts. Happiness bouncing about ten feet higher.

Alexi just looks indulgently at me, trails his fingers up my leg seductively, out of sight of the others as I get up and swan away merrily, shaking my arse for his benefit because I can feel his eyes following me out the door. Even with a tiny almost nothing touch and a whisper, he melts my knickers and improves my mood tenfold.

It only takes a moment to catch up with Alessandra at the bathroom entrance in the foyer and the two blonde Stepford wives hurry in ahead of us. In case we infect them with our boldness.

God forbid.

Alessandra grabs my wrist before I follow and pulls me back beside her, leaning in close and hushes her voice to a low level. Her face is serious and devoid of that normal sassy spark. She looks hungover but there’s a tension in the depth of those dark eyes.

“Be cautious with those two. Watch what you say in front of them in here. They are programmed to repeat all to their menfolk.”

“Why?” It’s an impulsive response even though I had gathered these women were not the type I could confide my hopes and desires in.

“The Carreros had a rift for many years and one of Alexi’s uncles took his family South because of it. I know Gino and Alexi don’t think I know what goes on with their family, I just choose to pretend to not know. I don’t know those women in the way I know the other women who married in, so just be wary. They do not have the same values as the rest of the family and their father-in-law is a very cold man with his eye on still controlling the Carrero empire one day.” That heavy Italian accent of hers is laced with warning and I lean in closer and match the volume of her voice. Fast becoming accustomed to my new friend, and deep down, since the first time I met her, I get the feeling I can trust her wholeheartedly.

“Why is Alexi choosing to have them involved then if the ulterior motive is to take over?” I blanch, skin prickling in reaction to the thought all is not always merry and loyal within this family. The thought of some back-stabbing mongrel trying to pull the wool over my Lexi’s eyes has me spitting fire in a nanosecond. Fiercely protective of him and ready to brandish my claws to defend him.

“Alexi’s father wants to reunite his family and well, Lex always wants to make him proud. The cousins are more willing to come back than their father is, and this is a way of mending bridges after they picked Alexi over Rob to be next in line. Alexi is a good man; he will do as his father asks and try to bond them once more. Family is everything to him, but he is not stupid. He knows there is a possibility of betrayal but he likes to keep his enemies close so he can predict their next move.” She glances around to make sure no one is listening.

“Giving them a position of power for a few years and rebuilding something to work on while keeping a watchful eye. That’s the Alexi I know. God, I’m so glad I was an only child and have absolutely no relatives still living that bother with me. Family politics is way too restrictive and exhausting.” I sigh heavily and relax a little as her hold on me falls away.

“I know none of them well at all and the men give me a very bad vibe. Not all Carreros have the same moral code. There are a couple of branches who have very dark hearts.” Alessandra looks nervous and lowers her voice to an almost inaudible sound and I sense real fear in the depths. I forget, that despite her brassy ways, she has led a relatively sheltered life and probably never really brushed the darker side of her future family. She doesn’t know men in Alexi’s world and will never see that ugly side of life. Gino would never allow her to.

“I think you call that the vibe of a wife beater. They seem pretty controlling and anti-strong woman if you ask me.” I nod towards the bathroom door with a toss of my hair and sassy little chin lift. Despising the cowering doorsteps in the midst.

“They are old school, much like many Italian men in this family. The older generation sees the women as nothing more than child bearers and servants. These women are what they like in a wife—submissive and docile. Alexi wouldn’t allow anyone who hits their woman to work for him, so I assume it’s not how it appears.”

“I suppose. For all his scary and hostile, Alexi is not a woman beater.” I sigh with major adoration and Alessandra grins at me from under thick lashes and beautiful deep dark eyes. Not missing one beat of affection in my tone.

“You are both so beautifully in love. Alexi is complicated, but since he met you, I see more of his softer side coming back. He used to be such a sweet boy but over the years he hardened so much, became so cold and distant. I see him again when you are by his side.” She touches my arm softly, a gentle moment from someone with a deep affection for my devil. She has known him a long time and I’m touched by her genuine affection for him.

“If you had told me that a few weeks ago, I would have laughed and called you a liar outright, but now … I can believe it. I’m seeing a completely new side to him lately and I can almost forget who he can be at times,” I admit quietly. Still bowled over when I stop and really think about it. Looking back now it all seems like a blurry dream and a man who never existed. His actions fading the past away into nothing, the longer I’m by his side.

“Alexi needs someone who understands all sides of him and their necessity to exist. Don’t try to change him too much. He has a very important role to play and that hard edge of his keeps him safe, keeps all of us safe. He needs to be loved, dark side and all, no exceptions.”

She knows way more than she makes out and I smile at her knowingly. Hearing her loud and clear.

God bless her clever little heart.

“I know. I don’t plan on changing him, just the parts I have to live with.” I assure her, understanding what she means in every word.

It’s because it’s what I need too.

Unconditional love from someone who knows your worst and just accepts it for what it is. No apologies, no accusations or harbouring grudges for the scars we bear. We get each other and we love each other without limits.

“Now come on before they wonder why we are delayed. They will be whispering about us, huh, Bambino? Think we are all lovey together. Kissy kissy!” Alessandra laughs, that hearty husky, sexy way she has, all heavy Italian, and I smile at her joke. Not that I would turn down getting one on one with her if I was drunk enough. She’s hot and I appreciate a girl who can do things men would never think of.

Alessandra yanks on my wrist and leads me into the bathroom to grace the company of our silent, feeble dinner guests.