Chapter 54

‘’A meaningless screw for our own pleasure.’’ I add hoping he gets that I mean nothing kinky. I won’t let him possess me that way and this is unemotional and a means to an end. An itch that needs to be scratched to eradicate tension. That is all it is.

‘’Sounds fine to me, turn around.’’ He commands and without thought I do it, not really contemplating the request then jump when he catches both my wrists from behind me and pulls them back behind me roughly. Instant fear from both him being behind me and what he does.

‘‘What are you doing?’’ I yank them free and turn back on him in panic, meeting a smirk of amusement as he drapes his tie over my shoulders casually. All my reverse cylinders are firing full throttle in an instant.

‘‘What do you think? Tying you up, fucking you from behind, over that.’’ He nods at the low table and then makes a turning motion with his hand as though it’s a reasonable request and I am just being obtuse. I refuse to budge this time, taking his tie from my shoulder and throwing it at the couch instead and plastering a firm look on my face. Everything in me going weak with nerves but I won’t let him see it. Also ignoring the fact he doesn’t seem to think I need any sort of foreplay or time to work up to being pounded—but that’s another issue to the one we have here.

‘‘No!’’ I say it sternly with emotion rising in my throat. Both at the thought of being bound and a flicker of a memory I’m trying so hard to squeeze out. I push it down hard and he just tilts his head at me.

‘‘No? You’re telling me no?’’ He turns me again laughing in disbelief, shaking his head and completely dismissing my refusal.

A look of stubborn reigning in. He takes my shoulder firmly, turning me against my will, only this time he runs his hand around my waist and then one on my back and pushes me forward, so I’m knocked to lean over and plant my hands on the coffee table in surprised response. He’s manoeuvring me to do what he wants and treating this exactly like he probably treats all sex. No asking or gentle coaxing, no romance or two adults being equally involved; just bend over and let me screw you my way, completely disregarding my refusal in any way. This is why he gives no shits about foreplay. He’s a selfish lover that sees women as a means to an end and doesn’t care if they even enjoy it. it’s all about him.

‘’Can’t half tell you always get your own way.’’ I shove him back aggressively, bile rising in my throat from that ache of unease coursing through me now and get myself upright again, moving out of reach of his hand as he goes to catch me, and I hold up a finger. That growing sense of anxiety like a heavy pit inside of me at his insistence to get behind me. I just can’t.

‘‘No!’’ I snap at him and this time he looks mildly pissed, more than just pig-headed. Surprised, yet pissed nonetheless. I doubt any woman in his entire life has ever told him ‘no’ besides his own mother.

‘’Now what? No tying? No fucking you over the table? Do I need to sit down and write up a list?’’ He glares at me and my temper spikes at his complete arrogance and what he thinks he owns of my body. This was a consensual agreement and yet it’s all on his terms and his wants, bloody bull brained selfish prick of a man.

‘’I won’t be treated like one of your doormat sluts, you file in here like a fucking conveyor belt. If you want to have sex with me then show me some damn respect. I’m not an object, I’m a woman and I have some say on how I like to be fucked. Stop trying to push me into your shitty bondage crap when I said no.’’ I hadn’t expected a feminist rant, but he just seems to pull this shit out of me. I don’t care if I am standing in only a pair of lace underwear; he is making my blood boil.

He laughs sardonically, not looking amused per se, just a tad outraged and probably disbelieving some mere girl refused him. He just shakes his head at me looking insane and wolfish as his temper begins to rise.

‘’You fucking serious right now?’’ That tone is very much a pissed Carrero. I know it well, it’s normally in response to me goading him. I don’t think I have heard him swear in this context before. I wrack my brains to think if he’s ever sworn in temper and just cannot think of an example off the top of my head while getting highly anxious. He sounds angry, so therefore I know he’s not demonic about to flip to psycho angry but still, it does put a little fear into me which feeds my annoyance.

‘’Yes, I am. You said you play by consensual rules and I am giving you my boundaries.’’