Chapter 60

‘’Go fuck yourself. You’re a cold bastard and I curse the day you stopped me from being thrown in the river.’’ I turn to storm off, but he catches my wrist and hauls me back, meeting my slapping hands and just deflects them, pulling me close as he silences me with another kiss. Only this time it’s not like the one from before, it’s softer, smoother and more like the kiss from the bar. Wrapping his arms around me as he lifts me up into him and runs a hand around my jaw to pull me closer. It’s almost tender, hitting my craving need for someone to make me feel better and despite myself and my fury, I weaken to him almost instantly. Like it’s a weird power he has and I can’t fight it.

Losing myself and letting go of my hurt, I kiss him back. Faced with less aggression and some tiny need in me wanting this somehow. A pathetic craving for little hints of affection, someone to make me feel like I matter.

I kiss him and let him caress my tongue with his. I don’t fight when he lifts me up around his waist tugging the throw from my legs, where it’s still wrapped and laying me back on the couch, so he can get on top of me. Alexi says nothing, just starts trailing my face and neck with nibbles and kisses as I dry my tears and compose myself once more. He seems oblivious to my upset as though the last few minutes never happened and starts working my body into a wild frenzy with a caress of trailing hands and a lot less rough play.

It’s as different to his first wave of sex as day and night and I arch, finding that pleasure once more, taking comfort in physical touch as he gently teases my nipples with his teeth and feels out my inner warmth with his hand. Fingering me gently until I moan out, before sliding into me slowly this time. It’s almost like he’s trying to apologise for the harsh handling or being slightly considerate because he upset me, yet I know that’s impossible. Alexi is never sorry about anything. He hasn’t got it in him to feel remorse, so maybe this is just more manipulation to finish what he started.

He’s horny and I never let him finish what we started. His hands have lost the urgency and even though he holds me down again, it’s with less force or intent and his grip stays loose and gentle so that I can pull my limbs free if I want to. His movements and thrusts are slower and more precise; his whole demeanour has changed subtly but enough that instead of feeling like I am being attacked and screwed by a madman—I feel like this is consensual sex, and he is trying not to hurt me anymore.

Alexi brings me to a fever pitch over what feels like an age of ultimate pleasure, until my body arches and convulses and I cry out through an epic mind-blowing orgasm that makes my body shudder intensely for the longest minutes. Clinging to him, pushing myself to that hard torso until he pours himself inside of me too and lets out an exhale before slumping on top of me and completely stills in the darkness.

I have no sense of how long he has been having sex with me but it was enough to lose the last traces of light and for my body to fall into sated slumber as soon as he rolls off the top of me. He brushes a kiss across my temple, weirdly affectionate, as my eyes flutter closed.

I barely feel the fur of the throw warming me as he slides it over, too busy zoning off to the land of nod with a body that finally got two whole years’ worth of release from being celibate. Alexi quietly pads across the room to his own and disappears as I let myself fall into slumber, feeling a whole lot of nothing anymore.