Chapter 83

The car ride had been in stony silence as the atmosphere thickened, and he stayed with eyes glued to his phone amid throes of gripping texts it seems. He never looked my way once and it just heightened my anxiety for getting back here; I know that he’s pissed and have no clue what is going on in that head of his, nor am I eager to find out. He’s someone who holds onto his little grudges, and he does like the added suspense of making you sweat it out a little. He’s deliberately giving me the silent treatment to heighten my nerves and I should just not care. But that’s like trying to turn back the tide: Impossible.

I see I obviously have no choice in the nuptial arrangements, in the fact he’s pushing me straight to the bedroom, and I am willing myself to be firm, hold my ground and make him sleep anywhere other than with me. He is holding fast, walking in silence along the carpeted and dimly lit hall but I can tell with the way he is cajoling where I head that his mind is made up, I am his prey for tonight. He meant it when he said sex was a must.

I won’t give in … I won’t let him have sex with me because he has deemed it as the plan and what he wants, I must break this part of the deal and not let it happen again; show him he does not own me like he does his other bimbos and sluts. He is gaining way too much control, and sex is a weapon he is effective with. I know that he is way too persuasive when he sets his mind on seduction, and I am way too weak for him, so I need to make a stand now. Before we get to his bedroom door and I can hightail it into mine as we pass. I’ll say goodnight and go to my own room. Be strong, be fierce, hate him and tell him where to go.

When we get to the landing outside the room I was shown to earlier, I try to divert off to mine instead of the path to his he has me on, but he just tightens his hold on my arm and yanks me around back towards his own door. I struggle for a moment, protest in my movements, but my nerve is failing and I really do not want to have a tug of war with my own limb.

‘’I’m sleeping alone, in my room, without you!’’ I try for verbal bravado, but he knocks the wind out of my sail with a quick spin of my body to face him, before pushing me up hard against the wall to my right. My back hitting it with a little force that knocks me senseless, and he’s right in my face moulding to me with every part of that strong muscular form. I catch my breath, pressed chest to chest and breathing hard as he advances on me like a vampire longing for blood.

‘’You can say No … but you have to mean it.’’ He sounds husky, sexy, overly confident and my stubbornness waivers. He’s on that power trip because of my defiance over my outfit. Whether he wanted sex or not, he’s pushing the point because I also denied that, and he is far too clued in on my inability to really turn him down. It’s like he can read my freaking mind.

‘’I’m not having sex with you. That part of this relationship is done.’’ I just sound feeble and curse my lack of acting when faced with him. No matter how annoyed I am with him, I can’t actually hold onto it as a deterrent to getting naked with him. It’s like caving chocolate even though you know it will just make your clothes too tight and you will regret it later.

Stand up to him! Don’t let him kiss you for God’s sake.

‘’You don’t sound so sure.’’ Alexi moves in an inch closer and his nose grazes mine, his breath on my sensitive lips and I have to fight to stop myself closing my eyes and inhaling how good he smells. It’s one of those infuriating things about him, he always smells too good to be true. If you could bottle the one scent that drove you wild out of your mind with longing and horniness it would be Alexi Carrero’s smell. It’s inhuman. ‘’I’m sure.’’ My voice trembles, it’s so low it’s barely audible, body trembling like crazy with the sheer closeness of someone who makes me ache for him and I curse myself for how weak I sound. Grappling to find my previous disdain for the man. I should be much stronger than this, and I don’t get how just moving close and touching me wipes all that away. Sharing air, nose to nose, body pressed perfectly to his and heart pounding through my chest. I can literally feel my underwear self-combusting with the way he has me pinned, my mouth longing to be kissed by him, and yet I mustn’t give in. My breasts heaving with the effort and so very afraid that he might actually kiss me and undo all my protests. That static between us crackles in the air.

‘’Goodnight then.’’ He smiles and begins to relax his hold on me so that I exhale in relief and start to sag a little that I haven’t had to fight it, fight him. A little light-headed with the way I suddenly took in a little too much oxygen as he steps away, and even though I am rejoicing, I also feel bitterly torn and disappointed and curse myself out.