Chapter 101

“What do you want to ask me, Emma?” He leans against the wall of the elevator and casually sprawls back, crossing a foot at the ankle over his other and perching his butt against the handrail. His hands are in his pockets and he’s looking at the floor. This is the Prince Carrero pose I’ve seen so many times before, relaxed, in his domain. I eye him up warily and sigh down my rejections to his manhandling.

“Ray Vanquis,” I utter quietly. He looks up, but I’m unable to meet his eyes. When I don’t say anything else, he stands upright and steps toward me.

“Has he contacted you?” his anger evident with each word. “What has he done? Has he hurt you?” His hand grabs my wrist, pulling me to him, harshly. There is a fire in his eyes, an instant rage almost boiling over. His body is hunched into me, as a sort of protective shield and his face is terrifying. Sharp angles and simmering fury.

“No, Jake, no … I promise.” I resist the urge to recoil knowing he’d never hurt me. He relaxes a little, letting me loose so I can move back, agitation over his face.

“I would kill him this time, I swear.” He grits his teeth then runs his hand through his cropped hair, trying to bring some calm to his demeanor, yet only messing up his neatness. I missed protective Jake, seeing him like this makes me ache and tugs at my heart as I watch him. The urge to fix that ruffled hair almost overwhelming me. His stance is rigid as though ready to fight.

“Jake …” I sigh, “I need to know what happened after Chicago?” I gaze at him, imploring his eyes to come to meet mine, frowning.

“Why?” He’s instantly evasive and my suspicions click in place.

“Something happened then?” His question confirms more than he’d have ever told me if I hadn’t brought it up.

“What makes you think that?” He’s trying his smooth, I can talk myself out of anything, routine, moving back to the wall, leaning against it, stiffly this time. I know this side of him. I know when he’s covering.

“Because men like Ray don’t up and run the way he did … He broke it off with my mother and disappeared.” I keep my tone gentle; I don’t want a fight. I just want the truth and going up against Jake with anger never works.

“Did you really think I would just forget it, Emma? Come home and not do anything?” His eyes flame with aggression and the heat rises in my cheeks.

“What did you do?” My voice is quiet and unsure. I’ve never known this side of Jake, and although I’m glad, I’m also scared by what he’s potentially done.

“You want details, Emma, or confirmation?” He moves forward and closer to me, expelling the air from my lungs. I can’t think when he’s so close and moving to almost touch me.

“I don’t know.” My voice cracks, and he sighs, tracing a knuckle down my cheek slowly, my body flinching but I don’t pull away. His touch igniting a million sensations across my skin, making my knees weaken. The urge to close my eyes and savor this is overwhelming, but I resist.

Fight it. Don’t let him affect you. Be strong.

“All you need to know is that it was made clear to him, that you and your mother are out of bounds, that should he ever reappear, there will be consequences, Emma … Worse than what I did to him in Chicago … That’s all.” His voice is low, our faces so close I can breathe him in and it’s heady. The ache to kiss him overwhelming me badly as he pauses so close to my mouth, his eyes stopping on my lips briefly. An odd paused moment runs between us, a tense static crackle I swear ignites in the air and then he steps back and moves away. I almost stop breathing.

“Are we done here?” He sighs with deflation and a hint of returned hostility, the elevator pings almost at his request and opens as two men get in and I nod at him, working my way out to the hall. He follows me for a second holding the door open. Both of us suddenly again stiff with the appearance of other people.

“If you ever hear from him again, you come to me … No matter what.” His dark glare sends a shiver down my spine. I nod, obediently, watching him, knowing that he means it. He gazes at me with a satisfied smirk and returns to the elevator, eyes glued to me as the door closes between us, blocking him from view. I stand, transfixed, staring at the elevator doors, feeling like I’ve been ravaged. I hate that he does this to me anytime he’s close to me.

Pushing down the crazy turmoil inside I move to another elevator and wait until a door opens to return to my floor. I need to get back to my desk where I can recover from all that is Jake and process what he’s just told me.

* * *

Back at my desk, I switch my answer machine off and turn my mobile on. There’s already a notification waiting for me; an email from Jake. I sigh in frustration as I open it, torn between happiness and anger.

Jake Carrero has sent you an iTunes gift

“I Will Find You” by Clannad.

I guess it’s a joke about his stalker tendencies, apparently no matter where I go, he’ll find me. He won’t let me leave New York, at this rate I’m sure I’m not going to be allowed to leave this company. I sigh and throw my cell down in agitation.

We’ll see about that, Carrero.

I’ve no idea which way is up or down anymore … Jake sends me away and acts like he doesn’t know me. Next thing I know, he’s all over my life, trying to tell me what to do and sending me songs. I’m more confused than I thought possible. He’s like a roller-coaster ride with his emotions, and it seems my feelings are taking a cue from him.

It’s all got to go. These stupid feelings and emotions, at least he confirmed my doubts about Ray Vanquis.

Do I never have to worry about him again? Will Ray stay out of my mother’s life for good?

If he doesn’t then I can only imagine what Jake will do. He isn’t someone you mess with. For all his outward charm and laid-back manner, Jake has a dangerous side. I’ve seen it before, briefly. Having his money and power means the sky has no limits. He could make someone disappear if he wanted to. He certainly has the mind set to do it. His family have ties with the mafia, they keep it out of the media attention, deny the links but they are old-world Italian. His grandfather founded this company amid mafia blood money rumors; stories which Jake has never denied nor confirmed. I shudder at the thought, but somehow take comfort from it. Whether he is in my life or not, he’s protecting me … Still. His power, reaching out, and sheltering me from afar. I could never hate him for that, he is the only person I’ve ever met who cared enough to do that for me. That’s why it hurt so much knowing I had to give him up when he pushed me away.

* * *

The afternoon goes by uneventfully. Jake left me be, and despite my shock at hearing from him and then seeing him; I’m once again wavering over my decision to leave this place. In one day, he’s taken me down; then up and down again; from almost crying in rage, to smiles; then back to complete desolation as I realize we have no reason to see one another again. All his visit has done is remind me of how much I miss him, his anger, humor, and charisma. His beauty and ability to change mood like the wind. I miss every part of him, and it makes me cry inside, seeing him only highlights how far I am from getting over him.

Wilma doesn’t mention his appearance at all. I’m so bogged down with work the afternoon goes by quickly. I make up the lost two hours after most of the office staff leaves. I like having this quiet time to work through everything Wilma has asked of me. Focusing on work helps me ignore him and forget all about today and seeing him again.