Chapter 113

“Oh, I always knew you weren’t a gentleman.” I jest, biting my lip unable to tear my gaze from his mouth either.

You’re perfection.

“Hey! I’ve been very well behaved. You have no idea the kind of thoughts that went through my head concerning you.” He catches my wrists and pins them over my head with one hand, his other sliding up from my waist and along my ribs suggestively.

“None of that surprises me, you and your ex-rated mind. I always knew you had Casanova tendencies.” I tremble with shivers as his touch ignites feelings inside me that are equally ex-rated, and I tense my thighs together to fight insane urges.

“Cheeky!” He plants a swift kiss on my lips then leans back to continue watching me. He lets my hands go, “You’re beautiful, and you’re all mine!” We smile at one another, then he quickly delivers another lip grazing kiss. Trying it out, enjoying the fact that he can, and I can see kissing becoming his number one hobby after tonight. Maybe mine too.

“I’m still mad at you.” I push my palms up his abdomen and slide them over his chest, exploring, being able to freely roam and braver than I have ever felt before.

“I don’t blame you, bella.” He frowns. “I’m mad at me too,” there’s a tint of regret in his eyes as he brings a hand down and smooths my hair behind one ear, stopping to play with the delicate diamond cluster earring, his eyes focused on it as he moves it around gently.

“Makes a change from being mad at me, I guess.” I smirk. I’ve finally gained control of my emotions again, as much as I can after a love confession from the man of my dreams. He stares at me for long agonizing moments, his eyes locked on mine, taking in every detail of my face, his expression unreadable.

“I only got mad with you because of how I feel about you, Emma … It was ripping me apart. I didn’t know how to behave around you or how to deal with all this crap inside of me … Overemotional men are just narky shits.” He softly smiles.

So, all those times he seemed so crazy pissed off at me … All came down to this? Surely not?

“I get mad at you because you’re an asshole sometimes; nothing to do with emotions or love.” I smirk and glance up at him shyly. He breaks into another heartthrob smile and I can’t resist running my fingers across his mouth again. He moves into my touch igniting my love of being able to freely touch him like this. It feels like I’ve died and woken in a heavenly place.

“We need to make this work.” He breathes. “I can’t walk away again … I don’t want to. This past month has been unbearable, like I had my insides wrenched out.”

His confession is sobering, his voice strained. Rosalie was right. Jake had been missing me as much as I was missing him, and I can’t believe we have been suffering apart silently.

Jake loved me. All that denial and second guessing him was for nothing.

“Are you asking me to be your PA again?” I ask quietly, bravely, soothed by knowing he’s had the same pain I have when we were apart, a pang of hope rises in my chest.

I’ve no idea how that’ll work now, things are so different.

“I’m asking for way more than that, Miele.” His voice softly caresses me, his fingers still in my hair, sensually moving over my scalp, sending shivers of desire through me.

“Tell me what you want from me, be specific.” My inner strength takes a step forward and I know I need him to say it.

Be brave, Emma … stop hiding and put all the cards on the table. Sarah said we didn’t ever lay it all out, well, here we are.

I need him to be straight with me. I need to hear him to tell me what he wants from me. No more second guessing.

“I want you … All of you … I want us. Just you and me and no one else. No games, no hiding, no more misunderstandings … I want you to be the one woman I share my bed and my life with. I want a real relationship with you, Bambino.” I’ve never seen Jake so open and honest and … raw in my life. The fear in his eyes and the trepidation, because for him, this is just as huge as it is for me. His brokenhearted past, his need to keep women at arm’s length for fear of being hurt and here he is, offering all of himself to me. I throw myself into him, sliding my arms round his waist, holding tight as my heart gushes with love and his arms tighten around me too.

This is everything, this is what’s meant for me. I love him so much I can barely breathe.

“I want that too,” I whisper, as his hand comes up into the back of my hair, fingers entangling to hold me tight.

“You better not be crying again.” His voice is laced with humor and I lean back shaking my head, face dry but mouth wide with a happy smile.

“No tears … Brownies whatsits.” I attempt a girl guide salute and watch Jake shake his head at me pitifully. He pushes my hand down with a frown and kisses my forehead with a ‘nice try’ kind of look on his face.

“This … Us … It’s really happening?” Jake suddenly looks so young and vulnerable, tipping his head back and letting his eyes run over my face as though he has reverted ten years.

“It looks that way.” I manage, tangling his fingers with mine, tugging his hand against my chest to feel his skin on mine, becoming greedy with the need to stay connected.

“You may need to pinch me a couple of times to actually believe it, shorty.” He moves in again, brushing his mouth against mine tenderly. His hand skims my throat and across my shoulder seductively, reigniting his obsession with touching me again but a little details falters through my head.

I pull away, my mind racing ahead and pin a look on him seriously. There’s one thing plaguing me, and I need to know. One thing that causes a pain in my heart, even amid the elation now bashing me in the face.

“What about Marissa?” I curse inwardly at how feeble I sound saying it. His jaw tenses but he smiles at me gently, bringing our noses to touch tenderly, treating me like a fragile and priceless piece of glass.

“I don’t want her; I didn’t want her. It was a stupid drunken mistake. I’ll be there for the baby but as far as she’s concerned, she means nothing. It’s you, it will always be you.” His fingertip traces my eyebrow gently, then smooths back a strand of my hair that’s fallen forward. I see only truth in his eyes, and it pushes me to find the courage to go on.

“How do you feel about the baby?” I ask. I want to know everything that’s ravaged my mind for weeks. He frowns, wondering where I’m going with this, but he’s my Jake now and I get to ask him this because he loves me. That thought gives me confidence and power, opening parts of me that I never knew I had.

“I’d be lying if I said I was happy … I’m not … But I did this, and I need to take responsibility. I hadn’t ever thought about having kids, so this is all pretty overwhelming right now.” He screws his face up cutely, looking far too appealing.

“Don’t walk away from your child,” I state. I know better than anyone what a father who didn’t want to know could do to a kid emotionally, for a lifetime. He kisses me softy on the lips. Each time he does a look passes over his beautiful face, disbelief that I’m letting him so freely do this.

The feeling’s mutual. Did I really torture him that much?

“That’s not me, Emma … I’m nothing like your father. I won’t walk away.” He gently pushes my forehead with his. “Can we drop this conversation for now, there’s something I would much rather be doing.” He grins with the glint of “Cheeky Carrero” in his eye. All signs of doubt and vulnerability moving out and sexually confident Carrero moving back in, even his body seems to suddenly grow bigger.

“Such as?” I smile. Deep down a slight wave of insecurity moves into my mind and I waiver.

Is he going to leave me here? Where else does he need to be? Surely, he isn’t planning on leaving me here now? After this?

“Taking my girlfriend home and fucking her brains out. It’s long overdue.” He grins, capturing my mouth as I inhale sharply in surprise, a passionate kiss stilling my words. His hands firmly pull me into him again. This time harder, making his intention clear; I’m taken aback by his declaration and my body tingles in anticipation.

Girlfriend? Me?

I squeal internally.

And what he wants to do … Most definitely!

My body is practically convulsing in excitement. Only Jake could make crass sound like the most romantic suggestion in the world.