Chapter 135
“It makes no sense to me having you beside me at work, then you going home to Queens at night … I want you home with me, to kick back and unwind. Here, we’re starting to get back into our roles as boss and PA … I want my girlfriend when we’re not working.”
“Sarah’s going to try and talk me out of it” I sigh, watching him play with my fingers one by one, enjoying the sensation. “She’ll think we’re rushing things.” I look up at him and shake my head when he shrugs, his answer to everything. Infuriatingly so.
“I’m not going to force you, Emma … Go see her, collect what you need for this week anyway then let me know what you decide … I won’t be mad, but I want you to know that it will happen.” He moves forward, kissing me quickly before letting me get up to leave. I ruffle my fingers lightly through his hair for a moment, smiling at the way he looks up at me and our eyes instantly connect.
A face that could melt icebergs. And it’s all mine. Stubborn to a fault.
I turn and walk off, grabbing my bag as I pass my desk. I can sense his eyes on me, but I don’t look around. I like torturing him in subtle ways, it makes me feel good to know that I have a little power over him too. Probably more than I realize, besides, he can be so commandeering sometimes that he deserves it.
I want to move in with him, but I’m also terrified. It’s a huge step for me, to be dependent on someone else. His apartment, his things, he pays all the bills, his money, his furniture, his way!
I’ve always stood on my own two feet and what if it all goes to hell and we break up? I can’t go crawling back to Sarah if I’ve nowhere else to go.
My head goes into overdrive thinking this all through as I make my way down to the underground car park to find Jefferson and one of Jake’s four by fours, parked and waiting.
* * *
“Wow … Are you sure, Emma? … It’s really fast!” Sarah remarks, sitting opposite me on the couch, her eyes wide in disbelief.
“I know it’s just … He’s right, though. We’re working side by side, we spend so much time on business, flying places, sharing rooms … We dove straight into a committed relationship and missed out on dates and going slow. It’s what he wants and as much as it scares me, I want it too. It just feels like this is how it should be.” I answer a little stiltedly. I rehearsed this on the drive over, yet she watches me for a long time, sipping her coffee and thinking.
“But? Come on, I can practically hear the hesitation.” She raises an eyebrow at me. I sigh and sink back on the cushions.
“But a part of me is terrified, a part of me is running for the hills screaming right now. I don’t even know why; I can’t begin to analyze it.” I slide my coffee mug on the table and slide off my stilettos, letting them drop to the floor as I tuck my legs in under me.
“No wonder. You spent your entire life being self-reliant, your own boss. Keeping people at arm’s length so they didn’t hurt you. He’s asking you to just throw all in and put all your hopes and trust on your relationship after like a week … That’s crazy.” She waves a hand in the air as though to emphasize the point.
“Except we’ve been in love for so much longer. I can see why this isn’t fast to him, he’s that kind of impulsive person. He wants, so he takes, he’s always had things his own way.” I sigh and haul a cushion into my lap, picking at the fringe in agitation.
“I think that’s just a male trait to be fair.” Sarah slides her mug down and mirrors my pose with her legs underneath her. She’s dressed in her chef whites ready for her shift this afternoon. “So, what are you going to tell him, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t want to hurt him; he’s always been right in the past when I’ve been scared to follow. Maybe this once I should just trust that he knows best.” I rub my cheeks with my palms, frustrated at myself for feeling so torn about something that should be so simple.
“I don’t want another room mate.” She pouts. “What about, you move in with him, but we leave your room available for you? Like, you can leave stuff here that you wouldn’t want to take and maybe have it ready for staying over sometimes?” she asks hopefully, her eyes almost pleading. I know her too well, she’s offering me a way out of making a final decision, she’s offering me a backup plan. She’s being that girl who always helps me figure things out, that girl I love.
“I guess that could work … It’s not like Jake will expect me to pay for anything, so I can still contribute here, like I’ve always done.” I shrug, annoyed at myself for adopting his mannerism. “So technically I’ll have moved out, but I’ll still have the option of coming back? Maybe I could spend the odd night here to catch up.” I smile, warmed by her enthusiastic nod.
I like this plan; it gives me an option C … Not living solely with him or her but choosing to stay with him unless I need an out.
Some stability, should he decide the full-on committed relationship with someone so emotionally messed up isn’t so great after all. The thought makes my stomach sink with a lurch.
“Okay, sorted! So, enough about that … I only have an hour before I have to get to work and I want all the juicy gossip … What being in love with the Jake Carrero is like! How good is he in bed, really? I want all the dirty, minute details.” She giggles cheekily, and I sigh, I knew this was coming the second she got me alone.
* * *
I walk out of the elevator a couple of hours later, Jefferson is taking most of my bags straight to Jake’s apartment and has dropped me back at Carrero House. I’m disappointed to see both Rosalie’s desk and Jake’s office are empty and check my watch. It’s only mid-afternoon, so I walk in and check my iPad on the desk, pulling up the schedule and see Rosalie has added in a meeting. Jake’s meeting with the legal team overseeing the Hunter-Carrero ship merger, things must be moving along with the first hotel cruiser.
I sigh and make my way back out to Rosalie’s desk to collect some letters and make myself busy. All the answer machines are on, the office is deathly quiet and even the other secretaries on this floor seem to have disappeared. I miss him already and it makes me smile. I’ve only been gone a couple of hours and already I’m impatient to see him again, to feel his hands on me and kiss me the way he does. I keep telling myself that it’s only been a week, that I shouldn’t be this dependent on him so soon or even at all. I’m falling too far and too deep, yet something inside of me tells me to let it go, to trust him for once and just go with it. See where this goes.
* * *
Absorbed in an email I’m typing I hear them finally return, it’s late in the day and I ended up eating lunch alone when hunger made me feel faint.
“You missed an epic meeting.” Jake’s voice smooths over me deliciously, he dumps files on my desk and comes around to haul me out of my seat by the arm. I squeal as he slides down into the chair, he pulled me from and tugs me back on top of him in a heap across his knee like a child as he leans back casually and swings the chair. I have to hold on for dear life. He grins childishly and lifts his legs, planting his feet on the desk so I’m tipped closer to him, my face ending up nose to nose with him, he raises his eyebrows suggestively then plants a soft kiss on my mouth. “I missed you, sexy.”
“Stop misbehaving.” I laugh and try to push myself upright, I should give up trying to conceal the things he does from the floor staff out there, it’s like trying to swim against the tide, he’s always so inappropriately public.
“What did I miss?” I challenge playfully, giving up the fight and instead laying in his embrace simply happy to be back in his arms while sliding my own around his neck to nuzzle closer.
“My father having a massive tantrum and glaring at everyone silently through the entirety of the meeting. Epic in every way.” He grins, obviously amused. “He still hates the fact I put this merger in place, it didn’t help that Daniel’s father was there … if looks could kill. I felt sorry for the poor guy, though.”
“Ouch.” I respond remembering that Jake told me Carrero had an affair with Daniel’s mother years ago. The two men are still at war over it even now.
“Apart from that, everything is going to plan, they’re moving to start production on the first two ships … It’s a lengthy process, maybe two years or more before we launch our first five-star floating spa and hotel. Better book ourselves a suite now.” He can’t hide his excitement and I congratulate him with a kiss, but as usual, he takes the opportunity to turn it into a full-on passionate embrace, lasting minutes. Finally breaking away he tilts me back to him, so we’re nose to nose again.
“So? Are you going to break my heart and tell me you only brought enough clothes for a couple of nights?” he asks seriously, his eyes coming to mine, there’s something almost apprehensive about the look he’s giving me. Always disarming me with that lost boy look in those deep green eyes.
“I packed up anything I want … Everything I need … To stay with you indefinitely.” I smile softly, grinning as his face breaks into his famous happy as Larry smile. “I left my room with the stuff I would otherwise need to put in storage until I decide what to do with it and the understanding that I pay Sarah for it instead … In case you ever kick me out.” I giggle as he pulls me back to his mouth for a celebratory peck on the lips.
“There’s more chance of you leaving me, bella.” He swings us back in the chair like it’s a rocker, and it creaks miserably under our combined weight. “Want to call it a day and go home with me to celebrate? … There’s a huge hot tub with our name on it and I haven’t seen you naked in seven hours, I’m getting withdrawals.” He pulls his feet off the desk, moving to stand with me in his arms.
“Do you intend to carry me off regardless of the answer?” I laugh.
“Pretty much.” He plants a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth and puts me on my feet. “I need to go grab some files from my desk and my laptop … Get ready to go. Home it is. There’s some advantages to being your boss.” He orders with a wink before stalking off to his open doorway with a smile.
