Chapter 212

“We need to go out today, Emma.” Jake wakes me from my nap with a gentle kiss on the mouth. I’m on the couch where I fell asleep with a book. Kissing has made a definite come back, although Jake never lets it move into full-on passion. I know it’s because he doesn’t want to escalate things, but he has gone back to kissing me softly, tenderly, and sometimes a little erotically. I’ve managed to gain control of the Demon Bitch appearing in my head, with the kissing at least; she doesn’t pop in there as easily anymore.

“Where?” I stretch out and yawn. This last week I haven’t felt like doing anything or going out at all; morning sickness and tiredness are currently ruling my life. I guess I’m finally starting to accept the idea of a baby growing inside of me; appointments for doctors have been arranged for a week’s time. I’m not exactly jumping around with excitement, but at least I’m not trying to ignore that this child exists anymore. I’m slowly coming to terms with it; whether that acceptance has found happiness yet is another issue entirely, but I’m no longer fretting every time I think about it.

I’ve been lazing around the rooms, watching movies, eating a lot, and reading; curled up with him or watching him workout at the gym while I laze on a lounger with a smoothie or a book. Jake has been working from home a lot more and generally letting me get away with extreme laziness since that day in our bedroom.

My anger is calming with his constant affections and I have found myself in more level moods, if still a little touchy at times. I’m more in control and at peace with myself, sort of. Jake’s touch and his intimacy are what I needed all along. We’re still healing. I still need to fully forgive him and I’m not sure of where I am with trusting him yet because we haven’t come to a point where it has been tested.

Demon Bitch is still a situation he hasn’t even begun to approach yet, still not facing the fact he needs to contact

her regarding the child she’s carrying, pushing that issue aside in favor of focusing on me. I have the impression

he is not only avoiding her because of how it makes

me feel but because of what he did. It’s a mess in

his own mind and it’s obvious his guilt is right up there beside my heartbreak.

“The Hamptons.” He smiles, leaning down kissing me on the cheek, before helping me to my feet. He smooths down my dress and hauls my cardigan around me to button it up in a very paternal way.

“Why are we going there?” I lazily watch his fingers at their task and ignore the urge to have them on my naked skin, the desire to be with him fully still aching inside of me. but I’m trusting him; to know that sex wouldn’t help how I am thinking or feeling. He asked me to give him a little faith in knowing what I need and so I am.

“First, we need to tell my family about this.” He smooths a hand down my flat stomach affectionately, making me smile warmly. He’s been waiting to see his mother face-to-face and had wanted things between us to be more stable before telling them. “Secondly, I set up a house viewing.” He pauses warily, that flicker of doubt crossing his eyes and furrowing his brows as he waits for my reaction … Tenses for my reaction more like. I still at the subtle change in his demeanor and can’t help but eye roll that only he could bring us back around full circle to the reason we’d ever hurt one another in the first place.

“A what?” I ogle him with narrowed eyes, but he only kisses me quickly, a fleeting look of apprehension and continues straightening out my appearance for me, acting like he’s in full control and not nervous in the slightest.

Hmmmm.

I rub the tiredness from my eyes and try to get my foggy brain together. I’m not sure if I even have any real reaction to this.

“We’re going to look at a house … Our possible future home.” He at least has the grace to seem uncomfortable

and straightens up to lock eyes with mine. “You

wanted commanding bossy asshole back? Here he is.

Now if you want to tell me you still don’t want it then fine,

I won’t be an asshole about it, but at least let me show

you first.” The confidence doesn’t quite reach his tone,

but I just sigh and realize I’m not even mad. I’m not anything. No fear, no panic, no irritation. He is exactly who I wanted him to be and I should accept that a future with him involves a new house.

“Okay.” I run my fingers through my hair and try to

fluff it out.

“Okay, you’ll let me show you the house?” He queries, with a severe look of trepidation on his face. The cute youthfulness he sometimes gets when he’s doubting himself makes him more adorable.

“Somewhere that has a garden and maybe less bachelor pad décor might be nice.” I sigh, waving around the apartment. It’s modern, sleek, and male, and even though I am happy here with Jake, most of the time, it’s not exactly child friendly or homely and the city is never somewhere I’ve loved living. It was just convenient for work, but I’ve never bonded with it at all really.

Jake’s grin widens, and he throws a toe-curling kiss on me, taking my breath away, upping the level of hormones in my blood as he wraps his arms around my waist and thoroughly ravages my mouth. I’m almost panting with horniness when he pulls away. As kisses go this is one of the pre-fucked up relationship variety. He sits me back on my feet but stays close, nose to nose, as I try in vain to catch my breath and cool the heat creeping up over my skin. This no sex thing better not be something we need for much longer.

“We’re driving, not flying, so it’s going to be a long trip, bambino; pack some books. Nora is fixing you some snacks for the road.” He turns and walks off toward his office; a place he’s using frequently nowadays.

“Why driving? The flight is only an hour.” I watch his strong back and shoulders dip as he picks up his cell from the charging dock on the way past. I’m a little too enamored with his butt right now and its lack of nakedness lately.

“You can’t fly in the first trimester of pregnancy; it’s too risky, bambino.” He throws me a smile and walks into the open door leaving me to watch him depart and shake my head.

Jake the attentive daddy-to-be. Who knew?

It makes me smile despite myself; this is a whole other side to the Carrero playboy I met long ago. I never in a million years imagined that the smooth Casanova with a sexy smile and hunky body would be the guy pampering me to insanity over his unborn child. I swear one of the books I’ve seen him read lately is a pregnancy book.

I stare after him blankly as my head swims with how different he’s being with me over this, compared to Demon Bitch. He seems to want this a whole lot but never seemed to care with Marissa, about any of this, and never seemed to take any real interest in her pregnancy.

I know he’s kept in contact with the lawyers since their kiss and she’s fighting the DNA request; seems after getting her hopes up with a kiss she’s now digging her claws in to make things difficult. He told the lawyers a few days ago, he won’t be attending maternity classes with her as planned and doesn’t intend to be at the birth. He said that he saw no need to complicate things further; not that he won’t be attending those things with me anyway. I gaze down at my normal flat stomach and sigh. We’ll be needing those things soon enough and the idea doesn’t appeal at all.

You have a lot to answer for tadpole.

Going to tell his family is nerve racking and neither of us know what the reaction is going to be, considering he

already has another baby on the way with another woman. I haven’t even contemplated telling my mother. That’s a whole other ball game I don’t want to approach just yet; something in me knows she wouldn’t exactly be a doting or happy grandmother either.

* * *

“Ready?” Jake appears at the door, as I zip up my case, placing it beside his. He’s already done his, finishing before coming to get me off the couch. I’m playing catch up under his watchful eye.

“Yup.” I smile and squeal as he scoops me up into his arms for a kiss and tells me he loves me. I have missed this kind of spontaneity from him; the last couple of days have been filled with never-ending touching and giggles. He’s still being gentlemanly with where he places his hands and it reminds me a little of the man he was before I was properly his, that boundary of what is appropriate touching but still hands on in every way.

“I love you too.” I breathe him in, before he puts me back on my feet, biting my lip in painful adoration as he bends and kisses my abdomen softly and mutters, “I love you too” to my dress before hauling me with him to the living room. I can’t stop the gush of complete infatuation coming over me at that little thoughtless moment, just instinctual, to tell his child he loves them. I know, instantly, he’s going to be the kind of father I can only dream of.

He directs Mathews to our bags and asks for the Mercedes keys.

“Mercedes? What about your bat-mobile?” I quiz; watching him take keys from one of the other men being handed my case by Mathews.

“It’s a long trip, bambino, if you want to nap you can’t in the P1. Its seats don’t move, and it isn’t built for long distance travel. You need to be able to stretch out and get comfy, the Mercedes is that car, unless you want me to take one of the SUVs? They’re bigger and spacious.”

I gawp at him in complete jaw dropping awe.

Where did I find him? What has he done with Jake Carrero super-hot playboy who dropped women by the wayside weekly? Here he is sacrificing driving his pride and joy so his girlfriend can take some pregnancy naps and be comfier.

I couldn’t love him more if I tried.

“I love you.” I say it with so much conviction he turns around and looks at me like I’ve never said it before. A grin breaks over his face and he closes the gap between us, kissing me softly right in front of the waiting men; a wave of sheer emotion running through me, my stomach tingling with butterflies. I can’t imagine a life in which Jake didn’t kiss me anymore, it doesn’t bear thinking about. That gorgeous face and masculine jawline, those teasing lips and the pearly white Hollywood smile that he always casually throws my way. He really has no idea how devastating he is to me.

I am finally starting to leave the pain behind to make space to appreciate what he still is to me. I am never going to leave him, we will get through this, we have to; life without Jake doesn’t bear thinking about ever again.

“Feelings mutual.” He smiles with his most seductive ‘I’m hot’ twinkle, leading me by the hand to the waiting elevator.