Chapter 37

Would he follow me? Is he going to hurt me?

“What could my mother have to say to you after all this time?” I spit, edging toward the door slowly, but keeping my gaze firmly on him as I near him. Untrusting. He smirks and, in that look, a light switch goes on in my head.

Surely not? She wouldn’t do this to me, even the way she is, she wouldn’t take back Ray after what he did to me and have a relationship with him again, would she?

The confusion, anger, and panic whizzes through my head at a hundred miles an hour; obvious he sees the realization dawn on my face and grins in that lop-sided sneer he has. He’s the one she’s been with, the one who beat her to a pulp. It flashes like a spark in my head pushing all rational and logical behavior completely out of sight.

“You bastard!” I scream and lunge without thought, fueled by hatred. My nails and keys slicing at his face as I attempt to kick at him. He’s surprised by my fierce, impulsive attack, caught off guard and tries to shield his face as I rain my fists on his head. It’s a stupid insane move. His rage ignites, grabbing my wrists and thrusts me hard against the wall, knocking the breath out of me. He spins me and shoves me roughly into the cold concrete wall with enough force to almost break ribs and I gasp for air, adrenaline spiking with ferocity. Memories of his attack so many years ago flash through my mind and I fight back with all my might. Pure instinct of survival. Pushing myself back hard, using hands and knees so I collide with him. I elbow and stamp as he tries to encircle me, teen Emma in full rage and fight mode.

I started this and I know I have no one to save me this time; he’s twice the size of me, multiple times my strength. I’m no match. He lifts me off my feet, squeezing around my pinned body with his huge arms so that I can’t breathe, and I begin to gasp. I can’t move. Nausea rises with the blackness coming in around me, terrified I’ll pass out. I know what he’ll do to me if I do. I struggle to pull air into my lungs and focus on staying conscious, my voice lost in an effort to breathe.

Then without warning, with a violent thud, he drops me on the ground in a heap and cackles as I crumble into lifeless submission. He kicks me with the tip of his boot, so I fall forward into a slump and walks off laughing, amused at his conquest. Leaving me broken, devastated and huddled like a child.

I break down and cry, crumpled on the ground. He’s achieved the humiliation he desired, satisfied with his little power trip and exertion over me. Showing me who is still boss while he goes on his way, giving himself a high five and I want to die. I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

I crawl to my feet, falling against the front door weakly, sobs racking my body painfully as I pull myself up to rest against it and drag air into my bruised lungs. My forehead falling against the chipped surface as I try wildly to ground myself and bring some sense of calm back to my despair. Shame descends over me at my own defeat, my own stupidity. My fingers and hands splay across the door, trying to keep my body from self-imploding while shaking violently. I stand in the shadows gulping down air frantically.

“Emma?” Jake’s voice is suddenly behind me then he’s around me, hauling me into the warm protective circle of his arms. A crazy surreal instance. His heady scent and warm body enveloping me into safety. It’s like being lifted into a bubble of protection, a home coming and all I can do is submit.

Why is he here? Is this real? Where did he come from?

Oh, my God. Jake … My perfect Jake!

I don’t care right now, I just feel like I’ve been pulled into the warmth of my life, to be comforted and protected. I love that he’s around me, I need him around me. Pulling me back from devastation. Concealing me from the world.

Maybe I’m dreaming. I hope I’m not. I need him so badly right now.

“Bambino! What’s happened? Is it your mother?” His husky smooth voice in my hair by my ear, his warm breath on my cheek bringing back the calm and sense to my inner world. My sobbing calming at the feel of him. He’ll always be my life buoy, my lighthouse in the dark.

I shake my head, allowing my arms to creep around his waist and hold onto him tightly, clinging to the familiarity of his body and skin against me. I need him more than I need air right now.

He came, he’s here, he ignored me telling him not to come … “Give Me A Reason”. It was about why he shouldn’t come.

It doesn’t even surprise me as Jake never follows the rules. I can’t even be angry with him, because he’s everything I want and need to pull me back from the darkness that almost consumed me moments before.

“Talk to me, Emma … You’re scaring me.” His voice is raspy, wavering and I lift my wet face and swallow down my emotion. The genuine concern in his eyes, looking at me in a way I’ve never had anyone look at me. He has no idea how he makes me feel, no idea how much he has changed every part of me and my world. That I need him, I need his security, his calm reasoning and confidence. His way of making everything okay. My protector.

“You just missed the man who tried to rape me at eighteen … He reminded me that I’ll never be able to match him.” I blurt out painfully, unsure why I’m even telling him this. I just need to. Because he’s really here. I think it’s shock and it just comes out without filter as I begin to shake.

“What?” His face breaks into something I never expected to see on him, his jaw tightening. Pure undiluted fury. He looks terrifying with instant aggression as my words connect with his brain.

“Did he hurt you, Emma?” He snarls and the air around us is immediately charged with electricity, emanating from his pores. I don’t recognize this version of Jake. I nod, unable to say anymore, sure I must look exactly like Sophie did when she admitted her father abused her. Jake curses and lets me go, his body buzzing with tension and power. He tenses his jaw and paces across the hall. High voltage energy crackling.

“I passed a guy coming in here … Tall, stocky, and tattooed with a shaved head … Is that him?” his voice gritted between his teeth revealing a venom in him I’ve never known him to possess. He scares me like this and all I can do is nod.

“Mother Fu …” he turns and speeds into the stairwell, pursuing my attacker without a second thought.

Oh, my God … No. Jake, no!

***

All my vulnerable woe fleets away into panic as I realize what Jake intends to do. Jake boxes and practices martial arts as a fitness regime and he used to be a scrapper in his teens, always in trouble. I know he’s a fighter, but I’m still beyond terrified. Ray and Jake are equally matched in body size, almost in height and definitely in aggression so there’s no telling what the outcome will be, and I can’t bear it.

I run after him screaming his name manically; he’s much faster than I am and he’s already out of the building tearing off in the direction of a lone figure walking in the distance. Jake can run like the wind. I can’t even begin to catch up, throwing my stilettos off and proceeding barefoot, my body shedding adrenaline fast and I get a cramp in my leg so badly I fall. Panic sears through me as I try to get up, they’re too far from me to really see what’s happening but the figures have collided. They’re a jumble of blurry shapes, a joined mass of movement, arms coming out and throwing back in with force.

Oh, my god. Jake, no!

One figure steps back holding the other by the throat, throws a punch with a short swing and the other hits the ground. Then the two are joined, rolling around once more.

I feel sick. I’m trying so hard to get up, dizziness and nausea fighting with my mind to take over, tears pouring down my face. Full blown hysteria consuming me.

God please, don’t let him hurt my Jake.

The cramp begins to fade, and I haul myself up and stagger toward them, looking for anything as a weapon to defend him. My bare feet making running almost impossible.

I get closer seeing that Jake has Ray by the shoulders as he brings his knee into the man’s abdomen twice, the contact thudding as Ray snorts out with pain at every collision. Falling into a heap, Jake hauls him back up, delivers precise blows to his face, head, and body three times before Ray crumbles to the ground, lifeless. Jake in a powerful boxer stance, towering over him. Glaring with a fire I’ve never known from him.

I manage to close the gap and throw myself at Jake desperately, my clothes dirty and ripped but I don’t care. I swing myself around his neck enveloping him. Grabbing onto him in despair and relief to shield him from harm.

“No more … Please … No more.” I beg, feeling his heart pounding through his chest as we press together, his breathing shallow and he’s perspiring. His arms come around my waist, pulling me in hard against his strong body and he turns me so I can look down at Ray Vanquis. He’s completely out cold, laid out on the damp dirty pavement, looking pathetic. This devil of a man looks almost pitiful now.