Chapter 79

I punch it in quickly before I change my mind and scan a list of names. Marissa is near the top; he’s been texting her recently.

What am I doing?

I notice a couple of other female names and feel instantly sick.

Why am I doing this?

I hesitate again and click Marissa’s name … The last text is from her to him. I pale as I scan it, knowing how stupid this is, but now I can’t unsee it.

I still love you Jake … We can make this work, I’m so glad this happened between us, a new beginning. xxx

It’s from two days ago and I feel physically nauseous. I close the screen, my hands shaking, and I slide it back on the desk. My breath instantly labored and my heart is fluttering.

Shit. I shouldn’t have looked; I shouldn’t have pried.

He’s sleeping with Marissa again. The tone suggests she was a past conquest. Maybe more.

The thought bothers me so much more than red head, or any other female I’ve ever known him with. Although that didn’t sound like nothing … That sounds like more than just sex. She told him she loves him … Jake never does love, he moves on quickly, so it never gets to that point.

How long has he been seeing Marissa, for love to be involved? Was that why she was being that way on the boat? Was he seeing her even then, behind Richard’s back? Even while kissing me?

I rub my face and realize my cheeks are flaming. I’m dizzy and sick. I shouldn’t have done that. I need to eat … Maybe it will make me feel less faint. I’m hot, stifling; maybe I need a glass of water. All I know is that I am out of sorts and the room is claustrophobic so suddenly. I get up to move from the table and the swirling dizziness hits me out of nowhere.

Shit.

I reach out to grab the table and miss.

* * *

“Emma? … Emma?” Jake’s voice comes at me from far away. I flutter my eyes open and realize there are several faces above me. Hemming in like a bad dream.

What the hell?

Jake’s holding my skull up with one hand and pulls me slowly to sit, a hand sliding behind my back to support me.

“Are you okay?” He’s pale and seems stressed. I realize I’m lying on the floor of the office I was in, my head still spinning, and the scratchy carpet is irritating my skin. Some of the suits move back as I struggle upright, held by Jake’s strong arm as he kneels over me. I have no idea what’s going on.

“I just felt a little light-headed.” I try, but sound childlike, trying to make excuses. I feel so odd. Like this is all some weird dream. I don’t think I’ve ever fainted before and if that’s what this is, it’s surreal. I can only assume that’s what happened and why I’m on the floor with no memory of how.

“Emma, you full blown passed out.” Jake studies my face with a scrutinizing frown, not giving me any room at all.

“I missed lunch,” I answer weakly, confused by what’s going on, I don’t remember even falling. I don’t feel so good, I’m shaking inside and it’s spreading to my hands. Someone passes Jake a glass of water and he holds it to my mouth like I’m incapable.

“Drink,” he commands. Bossy pants is back; I don’t argue and take a sip anyway. Heat radiating from my face and adding to my wooziness; this is so embarrassing. He’s still holding me like fine China and I’m conscious of the many faces and quiet whispers all around, watching me, watching us.

“We’re going back to the hotel right now. I want a doctor to look at you.” Jake is oblivious to anything but the marching orders he’s issuing me.

“No … No, Jake, honest. I’m fine. I just need to eat.” My voice is wavering and weak, I don’t feel right at all, sleepy almost. I take a breath and the creep of heat expands over me, maybe that’s got something to do with this too. “I’m just too hot,” I stammer as he leans forward and starts unbuttoning my jacket with one hand, easing it off for me. Someone hands him a damp paper towel, and he holds it behind my neck; it feels good, it helps a little to clear the fogginess and I start to come back to reality.

The swimming head is starting to pass. I notice there’s still an audience and frown, he follows my gaze and looks up as though for the first time noticing the men in suits.

“Can you all give us a few minutes … Give her some space,” he commands. There’s a mutter of chatter and they all file back through to the other room. Except it’s a glass wall and I’m aware of the eyes still being cast this way.

Crap—that’s never going to go away now, I bet everyone in the building hears how Carrero’s PA flaked out over a simple contracts brief.

“I can get up.” I try, but he stops me.

“Stay … for a few minutes.” He’s trying to make me sip again, but I take the glass from him and drink myself. His eyes on me, boring into my skull.

“You gave me a fucking scare, shorty.” He sighs and takes my glass when I’m done.

Oh well, he’s still sweary anyway.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur apologetically. “Next time I’ll be more considerate with my fainting spells.” I add drily, and he frowns at me, but says nothing. “I can get up, I feel better.” He watches me intently for a second then moves to pull me with him. He keeps his hands on my hips as I waiver, holding me still. “I’m good … I’m just a tad unsteady.” My voice is still shaking, and my body feels cold despite the heat. I shudder involuntarily.

“We’re leaving,” Jake says without hesitation. Full commandeering mode on and I know he won’t be swayed.

“No, honest … Go finish … I’ll sit … I just needed to …” I wave my hands airily and the words trail away absentmindedly.

Okay, maybe I’m still a bit scatterbrained.

“No … we’re going and you’re seeing a doctor.” He’s in “no argument” mode, bossy and frowning. I sigh heavily, I know this mood and even in my strongest sulks. I’m no match.

“Don’t, Jake … I’m fine … make them order lunch instead, then I’ll be perfect.” I try a smile and fail. I feel weak and he’s right.

“Emma, I’ve seen you skip lunch before, you’ve never keeled over on me.” He has a dark look and I’m too fuzzy to even begin to decipher it, too tired for this to continue.

“It’s the heat, … hot and hungry are not a good combo.” He slides me closer to him with both hands on my waist and steadies me against him, so he can let go with one where he moves it to my head and takes a temperature guess.

Really? Like I’m a child with a fever?

It’s so at odds with his serious, frowning facial expression, it makes me giggle, breaking my tension. He too breaks into a smile.

“Just checking.” He shrugs, bad mood dissipating almost as fast as it started. Boyish Carrero shining through finally.

“I’m okay … I’m not sick, Carrero.” I flutter, all aggravation of the last two days forgotten so easily.

“Promise?” he looks suddenly so very young; I think it’s relief. I can’t ever stay mad at this version of him. That face could melt icebergs when he turns on the adorable.

“Promise.” I hold up my attempt at a girl guide oath as proof, and he smiles.

“I’m still making you come back to the hotel, Emma … Enough for today.” The tone is still stubborn and serious.

“Yes, sir.” I’m tired and maybe the hotel won’t be such a bad idea. I mean, I’m hungry after all, room service is pretty tasty. I could use a lay down to let this pass.

“You’re not arguing?” he seems surprised.

“No.”

“Okay, then you’re definitely seeing the doctor. I think you’re terminally ill.” Now he’s being funny, nice to see flirty face is back on form once more. I missed him.

Very good, ha ha, Jake.

I waver again, and he pulls me back against him, maybe I should feign fainting in the future if this is the result. Falling into his arms seems to be far too easy and satisfying a habit nowadays. Although, talking of falling.

Oh God.

My mind slaps me.

“Marissa!” I blurt out suddenly, remembering what had first caused my dizziness.

“What?” he clamps on me with confusion. A stormy frown creasing his face almost instantly.

Shit. Did I say that out loud?