Chapter 5 - Part One

The Carrero Influence

~ The Dance ~

Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately.

The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out.

“Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation.

“For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. And less of the Jacob.” He shrugged with one shoulder and pushed images of Emma from his head for the millionth time. He wondered if maybe he should remind Margo that personal relationship aside, he was still her boss.

Damn Emma for always being inside his head.

“Sure! Because moping around like a love-sick kid for weeks on end after impulsively firing the best assistant you ever had means nothing. Look … you may not want to spell things out to me, but it is pretty obvious you crossed the line with her, problem being that for some stupid reason you then let her go, or should I say pushed her away.” Margo moved toward him and perched her tight-skirted ass on his desk the way Emma used to do anytime they had time in here.

He shook his head to dislodge it from his mind’s eye and instead went back to typing pointless words on a ruined document.

“Stop that.” Margo covered his hand with hers and stopped him from continuing. He yanked his hands free, agitated, pushing back his chair and getting up to walk up and down the length of his windows, finding no peace in the skyline out there for once.

“I didn’t just let her go, it was never going to be anything more for her, so I stopped myself from crossing that line again. Why are we even talking about this? Is there something I can actually help you with?” He stomped back to his seat, not sure what the hell he was even doing and slumped back down, creasing his shirt and not giving a damn. Running his fingers through his cropped hair and frowning once more at the stupid document on screen.

“You can figure out what you’re doing with these then. Deal with it yourself. I do not happen to like dealing with the Giovanni stubbornness in you, short-sighted and pig-headed to boot!” She threw the paper she had been waving around in her hand on top of his laptop keyboard distastefully. Taking them idly he noticed tickets stapled to the top corner with Emma’s name printed on. He looked up at her quizzically with a frown.

“What are they?” He genuinely had no clue.

“Tickets to that bloody dance you wanted all the staff to attend. I suggest she gets them and decides for herself if she wants to see you.” Margo didn’t wait for a response, she was turning on her heel and moodily trotting out on stilettos that made an echoing clip-clop at speed. She was still pissed at him, had been since she came back and found out what he had done concerning Emma.

“Margo? What the hell?” It was futile, she was waving him away and playing deaf. She kicked his outer door shut to emphasize that she was still seriously furious with him. He had endured weeks of her snippy attitude and stern chastising already, he had no clue why he hadn’t fired her ass for it. Probably because deep down he knew he deserved it, he had behaved like an asshole and Margo was only thinking about Emma and how this must hurt her. All he had thought about since her departure was how much this must be hurting her.

He lifted the tickets again and read over the name printed clearly in gold foiling, a thumb tracing her first name slowly as that familiar ache in his heart panged to the forefront. Without hesitation, he hit his intercom buzzer to Margo’s desk.

“Send them to her as soon as you can.” He let it go without expecting a response, chucked them back to the outer part of his desk and sank back covering his face with the back of his hands and sighing. He had no idea if she would even go to the dance but part of him wanted it to be her choice if she did. He wanted to see her, yet he didn’t, because it would hurt either way.

The door to his office opened almost instantly, the clip-clop of heels, the swish of fabric and waft of Margo’s perfume, by the time he moved his hands she was retreating to her own part of the office carrying the sheet of paper and still freezing him out. He rolled his eyes and thought better of trying to chastise her about this ongoing behavior. Margo was like a second mother to him and his own mother would probably be acting the same way right about now. He had better get used to her angry standoff because he knew she wasn’t going to let up on him anytime soon.

* * *

Jake pulled at the collar off his tux repeatedly, trying to stop the choking sensation of wearing a bow tie and ignored the glances his way. He had been here only minutes and already showing up single was attracting way too much attention, probably because he had never come to an event dateless.

He could feel the judgmental and surprised looks from the array of rich and minor celebrities in the ballroom, less than an hour after opening and he already hated it here.

“Hola!” Leila butted into his thoughts and slid an arm through his confidently. “Looking as suave as always my lovely.” She grinned up at him with that cheeky youthful face he adored like a sister and just yanked at his collar once more, stifling in this crowded ballroom and hating having to dress up in this monkey suit. She pulled his hand away and started to fix his crooked bow tie for him, slapping his hand down when he tried again to get at his top button.

“You look nice, classy dress.” His eyes swept the long black glittering ball gown with the peak of pink at the neckline while she fussed over him, typically Leila.

“You brush up pretty well for a skinny tomboy.”

He was relieved to be released when she had done fluffing him over.

“Shut up, loser.” Leila nipped his bicep with her overly long manicured nails, arm slid back into place inside his and threw him a suddenly serious look. “She’s coming you know? She texted me, I don’t think she knows that I know.”

Jake swallowed hard, an impulsive response he had no control over, frowning as the stomach-lurching sensations hit him again. This had been happening all day.

“What do you expect me to say to that?” He focused his gaze across the room, uncomfortable with this topic of conversation and already wishing he had never confided in Leila about any of this over the phone the night before. She was unpredictable sometimes, and he knew she rooted for Emma like no other. She had been one of the worst to give him a hard time about sending her away.

“I expect you to look happy at least, Jake, you need to tell her how you feel.” Jake held his hand up and hushed her, it was all new to Leila and nothing he had not heard before from Margo, his mother and hell, even Daniel.

“Look. Stop. Not the time or place, Leila, so get any dumb thoughts out of your head about interfering in this.” He threw her a warning eyebrow raise and hated that her stubborn jut of the chin became more prominent. He had no energy for a Leila maneuver tonight.

“Oh, for God’s sake! Look just stop being arsey as fuck and try to act like you’re happy to see her when she gets here. She did nothing wrong, Jake, and you need to man up and stop sulking when someone mentions her name.” Leila jutted her hip out and almost slammed her hand on it.

Jake glared at her, his own mood taking a nose dive, a skill Leila had since childhood.

“You can stop looking at me like that too or else I’ll poke you in the eye with my new nails. Do you like them by the way? Extra sharp in case your asshole best mate shows up to piss me off.” She swayed around her sparkling pink nails.

“Stunning,” Jake replied flatly and then dodged her pretend cat-like claw aimed at his face. Leila was one of those annoying friends that you let get away with murder because they were genuinely more family than friend. At times though he just wanted to strangle her, tonight was one of those nights after a full day of her constant texts, questions and lectures.

“I can see you watching for her you know.” Leila cut in, looking at him smugly and lifting one eyebrow as she edged in close. Not that it made a difference as she hadn’t bothered to lower her voice over the in-house orchestra blaring some Mozart.

“Jesus! Leila, for fuck’s sake.” He lowered his voice when he realized he had just snapped loudly, and people were looking his way. “I’m going to the bar, you can stay here and piss someone else off for a change.” He dropped her arm from his and moved away, striding aggressively in the direction of hordes of overly dressed up strangers in a bid to get some head space. He hated that she was right though, he had been scanning the crowd ever since he got here. On edge, nervous and tense and just watching for the one girl in the world that he couldn’t mentally escape from. He had been a fool to kiss her only days ago, to keep ending up with her no matter how hard he tried to stay away. He knew he was only torturing himself and dragging this out.

The inner floor was full of people milling around in various degrees of expensive formal wear. The music loud and invading from the full orchestra as he pushed through people that wanted to cling to him and bask in his presence.

Jake strode purposefully through a heavy crowd of glittering women in floor-length dresses, coming out into a clearing with a side step away from an overeager pair of hands and walked smack bang into the one face that made his heart stop beating.

Emma walked into the clearing at the exact moment he did, and they both just seemed to stop and stare at each another, his heart pounding erratically as it recovered, his breathing becoming shallow. She looked beautiful, beyond his wildest dreams. Wearing a fitted floor-length red dress that left little to his imagination and seemed to defy gravity while clinging to her bust and waist. He could barely swallow, taking in every perfect flawless curve up to the face of perfection and that wild hair he just wanted to tangle around his fingers at every opportunity. She looked like a Hollywood star from the fifties, perfection in every way and effortless grace. She stood out from everyone in this room, hell, to him she stood out from every single woman in the world. She always had.

Fuck.

They stood motionless, feet apart. Tension crackling in the air between them and neither seemed to know how to react or what to say. All Jake could think about was what it was like to have her in his arms, to feel her against him and how much he wanted to touch her right now.

“Oh, my God, Emma!” Leila’s excitable voice grabbed her attention as she dove on Emma from the right of Jake; she had obviously followed him when he headed to the bar. Throwing herself around Emma, who was only inches taller and almost hauling her off her shoes. Jake didn’t move, just continued to watch her, unable to tear his eyes from that face that could stop the world from turning. He didn’t care that the women just to his left were trying to capture his attention subtly.

“Whoa, Leila,” Emma choked, laughter breaking over her delicate face and changing the apprehension to knock out beauty. Jake stiffened, trying to keep his emotions in check and trying to hide any reactions she caused him. Just being this close to her, unable to just be how they used to be was complete agony and his heart had continued some sort of rumba inside his chest.

“I’ve missed you, millions! Emails are not the same, Miss Ems. You look freaking sensational!” Leila spun Emma round and sent her reeling, losing her footing on high shoes, Jake moved swiftly forward and caught her mid tumble. Pulling her against him despite every one of his senses telling him to let her go. The feel of her body against his sent an electric jolt through him, heating his blood and making his stomach lurch with emotion. She smelled better than good and her scent would only keep haunting him even after he left here, now that he had the smell of her on his tuxedo.

Jake stood her up carefully, holding her upper arms until she found her footing once more and released her as soon as she was steady. He knew the danger of keeping her close, and he just couldn’t handle her proximity with her looking as devastating as she did tonight.

“Careful, Leila.” Jake scorned Leila, catching the wicked gleam in her eye of a calculated plot she had brewed up. Jake narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head over the top of Emma. Moving to look away as she turned back to him, in case she saw what was transpiring. She seemed to focus on him for a moment and as much as he wanted to just turn back and dive into those baby blue eyes, he couldn’t bear it.

“I can’t help being so happy to see her, Jake, you keep her hidden from me.” She grinned wickedly at him, messages in their silent communication they had perfected from years of being friends. Jake tried hard not to glare and instead threw her a slight frown and a subtle warning to back off.

“I’ve been working.” Emma looked quickly from Leila to him and back, an air of confusion about her, but she recovered quickly and smiled softly. Jake had to tear his eyes from that perfect red-lipped smile and push out thoughts of kissing her over and over again. She wasn’t normally one for bold lipstick, normally subtle shades and he was finding it near impossible to stop looking at the perfect pout and curve of lips so obviously made for passion. Music overtook the conversation as the band heated up a notch, a slow ballad coming across the air, making conversation near impossible.

“Oh, I promised someone a first slow dance.” Leila turned Emma harshly, shoving her into Jake hard with

that wicked smile aimed right at him, a twinkle of trouble in her eye.

His arms automatically caught her and pulled her into his chest, throwing Leila a look of complete intolerance; he would be having words with her later. Jake quickly put Emma upright and back on her own feet as her perfume hit him again, too much for him to handle, combined with how good touching her always felt. He shifted her away, so he could gain some distance and regain control of his equilibrium.

“Keep her warm for me until I come back, Jacob!” Leila grinned cheekily and took off at speed, knowing that Jake was probably about to explode and hightailing it so she could leave them alone. She knew there would be repercussions later, but she didn’t really care.

“That girl,” Jake said tightly, irritation concealed but his anger simmering inside. He avoided looking at Emma, wondering how the hell he could walk away from her and leave her here alone while looking so utterly fucking lost right now. She had an air of Bambi with big eyes and seemed to be suddenly uncomfortable with Leila’s departure. Jake couldn’t control the stomach punching sensation it gave him.

“You’ve got to love her though.” Emma shrugged nervously, biting on her bottom lip and causing yet another wave of excruciating pain. All her little anxiety tells had always been a point of agony for him, he hated seeing her doing it but right now any little Emma-ism was just killing him more. He missed everything about her so much.

Do you really have no idea how goddamn adorable you are?

The music was moving into full swing as couples moved around them, joining together to sway. Emma went into ultimate fidget mode almost immediately, twirling her hair like she always did when she was tense, looking around for an escape route and pretty much making him feel like the biggest asshole known to man. He watched her hand in her hair intensely for a second, lost in so many thoughts and memories, hating the habit yet pining for the familiarness of it. He realized she had caught his look, misunderstood what it meant and yanked her fingers out of her hair like a scolded child.

Great! Another notch of assholeness.

Jake frowned and looked about the floor, making a decision almost instantly.

“Want to dance with me, Anderson?” He had no clue why he thought this was the best course of action, all he knew was that he didn’t want to walk away and leave her here and had no desire to see anyone else dance with her. He would kick seven shades of shit out of any guy who dared touch her. She looked momentarily shocked, color draining from her face a little and her fingers twitched as though aching to be back in her hair. Jake felt a warmth of compassion, an old memory of her looking this unsure and untrusting of his intentions once before.

“I don’t bite.” Jake smiled at the memory of a long-ago moment in his office. Emma seemed to register the memory too, a small smile warming her mouth and looked a little less shell shocked.

Jake didn’t wait for an answer; his body had been aching to be with hers for so long that it was almost impulsive to just reach for her. Pulling her close by the wrist, encircling her dainty smooth skin and bracing himself for the onslaught of emotions that hit him with her nearness.

Emma automatically slipped into dance pose, hand in his and the other on his chest to stop the collision from the suddenness of his maneuver. Her palm was placed directly over his heart and with a searing touch, he was sure she could probably feel how hard and fast his heart was beating. He couldn’t tear his eyes from that perfect red mouth as he drew closer. Emma looked stricken suddenly, a mixture of emotions flitting across her face so fast he had no clue what to even think.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered suddenly, her voice breaking, and he could have sworn he saw a glint of a tear in her eye, but she was turning from him and trying to break free. Jake impulsively caught her chin with his fingers, tilting her back to him so he could try to read what she was feeling. Confused at seeing a look that, to him spelled out complete heartbreak and rendered him almost immobile as he tried to piece together what it meant. Before he had a chance to speak or control the sudden hammering of his chest, she had pulled her hand away and was pushing away from him.

“I need to go.” She yanked her chin away, face down so her hair spilled forward to hide her features from him. Jake felt panic rising within him, confusion and emotion consuming him, he stood motionless, unsure how to react as he watched her move away out of sight into the crowds.

Jake’s head became a mass of thoughts and feelings all warring for space, chaos clouding logical thought as his body seemed to jolt into a mess of heart-pounding sickening panic. He kept questioning that look, trying to dissect in seconds why she would look at him the way he had been looking at himself in the mirror for weeks. His head skimming through memories and conversations of the last weeks with her, tidbits of clues and puzzle pieces.

He remembered the last song she sent him and reached into his jacket for his phone, looking up to see if she was still close enough to catch and realizing she was completely gone.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jake was glued to the spot, uncertainty keeping him here despite every part of his being screaming at him to go after her. It was then that it hit him, like a sudden lightning bolt moment. He had to know if he was just imagining it or if she could feel the same for him that he did for her. If that’s what he just saw in her eyes.

Looking at the phone in his hand he knew the way to ask. Hands shaking, he skimmed songs quickly until he found one which had been plaguing the radio for the last week.

Sending it out into the network and to her phone without hesitation and hoping to God she had her cell with her. He had nothing else to lose, he had lost everything when she had walked out of his office and standing there watching her leave was only a harsh reminder that he would never love anyone the way he loved her. He needed to be sure.

Jake Carrero has sent an iTunes gift to Emma Anderson.

The email notice popped up on his phone and his stomach churned with nerves.

Jake Carrero, you sent Jessie Wares—‘Say You Love Me’.

He knew there was no backing out of it now, she could only take that song one way and he would finally know for sure if he had ever stood a chance with her. The world seemed to stop around him, music dulling out to nothing, as the rush of blood ran through his ears. Close to his first ever real panic attack, he was sure his heart might explode.

Come on, Emma, any sort of answer, please.

He was staring at his phone, motionless in a sea of dancing bodies and completely unaware of anything except the blank screen in front of him.

It seemed like an eternity before an email notification pinged up on his screen, his heart lurching and his stomach dropping with fear, with trembling hands he hit the screen and opened the email.

Emma Anderson has gifted you an iTunes song.

Emma Anderson has sent you—Paloma Faith—‘Only Love Can Hurt Like This’.

Jake’s world stopped, a moment of pause as he took this in and it slowly dawned on him what her response meant. He read it twice to be sure before impulse took over and he was moving fast in the direction she left. Body alive with energy and tingling. He was on hyper-drive and determined that his only goal now was finding the girl who was about to be kissed to within an inch of her life. He was soaring, still desperate to push through the crowds and just find her.

Emma loved him. His Emma really loved him, the way he loved her.