Chapter 167

“I’m nervous.” I call out to Arry, while trying to calm my hands from trembling, taking deep breaths. Standing in my room getting ready, while Arry is in the bathroom styling his hair. I feel sick again, ever since I got up it’s been bad, and the dizziness I’m having with it is knocking me off kilter. I know it’s nerves, but I can’t shake it.

“Don’t be… We are walking out of there with your graduation secured, your record untainted by any possible backlash and hopefully an agreement that today will be the last time you step foot in there. I want that bastard punished. If that’s really what you want, Sophs?” He wanders through, looking sexily smart in his suit and tie and immaculately groomed self. He’s all Mr. Carrero. business mode this morning, even wearing a tie for this, even though he hates them.

“I want this to be over.” I smile at him from my reflection, attempting brave and thank my lucky stars that he will be standing right beside me through this. I don’t know what I would do without him.

He smiles back and brushes his fingers down my hair softly, looking ready to handle anything thrown at him and I’m glad that he talked me into this. I have seen Arry in this mode only from afar and never actually seen him take care of business in any way that directly affected me. He is his father’s son after all, and I can see a change in him this morning with his head focused on our arranged meeting. There is a new aura of authority about him. Mature and business like. I wonder if this is who the people he works with, see every day. I’ve never known anything but the boy who let me under his exterior persona.

“I don’t want to go back if I don’t have to. I don’t want to be around Claude Trevaunt anymore and I am tired of playing good with every bitch in there.” I exhale heavily and lean back against him to give my head a moment of respite. I’m unwell and utterly exhausted with this whole thing. It’s like a dark weight over my head I am so ready to get out from under.

“Then you won’t be. Leave it to me.” He catches me eye in the mirror and winks, softening how stern and business-like he looks, and I smile back again; a little reassured to know that even in Carrero mode, my boy will always be in there.

“Mr. Carrero… Boris has the car downstairs.” Janetta appears at the bedroom door and Arry turns his attention to her for a moment, pushing me up from him to finish what I am doing. I pick up my mascara and apply a last coat with shaky hands, putting a little space back between us.

“Tell him we will be a few minutes. Thanks, Janetta.” He wanders off after her to go fetch his shoes and cell and I try for another calming breath. The nausea won’t subside, and I doubt it will until this is over. I push it down the best I can, like I have been doing since I got out of bed and focus on anything else.

I make a move to follow him and end up having to take a fast left turn instead and run to the bathroom as nausea turns to impending vomit and I barely make it in time.

With my head down the toilet bowl so that I am almost face planking the water, Arry finds me and starts stroking back my hair and rubbing my back. I literally open the flood gates and every ounce of my stomach content exits at speed.

“Baby, what the hell? I didn’t think you were this nervous. Maybe you should stay home and let me do this for you.” He sounds concerned and I can’t stop a second bout of vomit before I get a chance to lift my face up. Grasping the rim of the bowl as I wretch with threats of a third bout of excruciating sickness. I’ve never been good at being ill and tears are already making way down my cheeks with the painful effort. My throat burns, and my stomach is like a washing machine on a spin cycle.

“I’ll be okay in a second.” I manage a few words before I give a third and final upchuck, although this time it’s mainly fluid as my entire breakfast takes a dive into the French sewers. I hold my head against my arm for a few seconds more to be sure I am done, gasping for air and trying to swallow the vile taste before making any sort of a move.

Arrick is still holding back my hair and holding me against him so I am more perched on his knee than the cold tiled floor. I don’t even remember him scooping me up into his lap this way. I lean off him to flush the toilet and end up slumped down on my knees for a moment as I try to stop the swimming in my head, his arms are immediately around me to catch me before I topple over.

“Nope … You’re staying here.” Arry’s hand comes to my forehead as he feels my temperature, props me against the toilet once more and waits until I am steady, with my head on the rim before he walks off to get me a glass of water from the faucet. He hands me that and a damp, cool cloth for my face and comes back to kneel beside me, gently taking me back against him.

“I need to face this.” I answer weakly, his eyes honed on me and he looks unconvinced.

“You threw up spectacularly, baby. Only place you are going is back to bed. Janetta is here, she can watch you while I’m gone. It’s not a suggestion, it’s an order.” Arry is in bossy mode, clearly. I do not have the energy to argue, but I have to do this with him. My body has decided to give up on me and the swell of heat rising from my feet to my cheeks convinces me that maybe he is right.

“I think I will lie down for a few minutes, then I’ll be okay.” I sigh softly and squeak when he scoops me up into his arms, giving me no chance to refuse and carries me back to our bedroom.

“I won’t be long. I can handle this, and you are staying put. Do you need me to fetch you a bowl in case you have to throw up again?” Arry frowns at me, I can tell he’s dissecting my face for signs of deathly disease and shake my head. I don’t want him to fight these kinds of battles for me. I should be there.

“I can manage to the bathroom. Arrick I’m not staying here.” I lay out flat, glad to be horizontal as the dizziness starts to recede again. I don’t feel anywhere near as bad as I did moments ago, and my stubborn self is not about to let this go.

“Janetta… Sophie is sick…” Arrick calls out and wanders off mid yell, leaving me in the bedroom. I hear him finish his spew of orders on ‘how best to care for my Princess’ carry on in the other room as I stare at the white ceiling and take some comfort from our cool bedding. I won’t stay here while he’s facing my tutor; it should be me. I know he’s ignoring me and my protests, he’s good at that when he thinks he knows best.

He comes back with a fresh glass of iced water and some aspirin, a bowl and a fresh cloth and lays them on the bedside.

“She will take care of you until I’m back. I really won’t be long. I know exactly how this is going to go down. He’s not the first sleazy asshole I have had to deal with, Sophs. I have fired many in my time; Carrero Corp has a staunch policy on sexual harassment that Jake implemented a few years back. It’s an instant dismissal incorporated in all contracts.” Arrick is in determined mode. Kisses me on the cheek, strokes my face as he once again scans me with concern.

“Arrick!” I catch his wrist as he goes to move away and force him to look at me as I struggle to sit up.

“What?” Edgy tone, he knows I’m about to argue the point and when he is in ‘I know best’ mode, he can be a stubborn, grumpy ass.

“It’s my fight… I need to face it. I can’t be some weak girl who hides behind her boyfriend when some creep tries to abuse me.” I get half upright and dizziness hits me again, stopping me mid-air.

“Is that what you think? That by letting me do this it somehow makes you weak? Sophs… Baby?” He sighs and comes to sit beside me, pushing me back down gently, all resistance in his voice softened. I don’t fight him, glad to be laying down again. “No one would ever call you weak. You’re still my little warrior, still the girl who faced a complete evil shithead face on and put him away. You disabled a full-grown man because he tried to touch you. That’s not weak.” He can’t hide the sound of pride in his tone and that tiny twinge of a smile.

“I only did what you taught me. Now I’m letting you go without me.” I don’t know why this matters this much, but it does. His words are not helping me change my mind or taking away this feeling in me that I should be there.

“What are you trying to prove and to who? If it’s me, then there’s no need … I stood beside you every day in court, I watched you pull yourself through years of therapy and pain and come out of it with a smile on your face and an ability to let me love you intimately. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You have no idea how amazing you are, how much strength it takes to survive and move on the way you have.” He strokes back my hair tenderly, eyes never leaving mine.

“Yes, I do. I need to prove that I didn’t ask for this… I didn’t want him to touch me.” My voice breaks with emotion that comes out of nowhere, a sudden pang of aggression and it startles me more than him. I get that instant overwhelming ache of sadness rising inside and try to push it down as tears prick my eyes.

“You don’t. I know you… I will fight your corner and make sure they know it too. No guy has a right to ever lay hands on you, not even me without your permission… I never thought to ask if this was affecting you on a deeper level… I’m sorry… Talk to me.” Arrick climbs over and lays on the bed beside me, despite wearing a suit he will wrinkle and mess up, and pulls me close to cuddle me in. Hugging me tight while resting his cheek against mine.

“It wasn’t. I don’t think. It upset me but… I don’t know… Why do men think it’s okay to do this shit to me? Why do they think it’s okay to lay hands on a girl just because they want to?” Tears sting and my throat aches with the feeble voice that escapes me, I have been trying to not let it get to me this way since it happened but it’s all coming out now while I am vulnerable from being ill. Invading my mind and making me feel things I buried a long time ago. I forgot how it felt to be harassed by men. Arry has done a good job of keeping me safe the past couple of years and I no longer have the same ability to brush it off.

“Not all men think or behave that way. Some men are scum of the earth and should be castrated. It’s never okay in any situation to do what he did. Let me do this, Sophs. Let me redeem myself for not being there, for not protecting you. If I was where I was meant to be, then none of this would have happened and you wouldn’t be feeling like this now.” Arrick leans up and over me to look at me face on, he looks guilty and it makes my heart bleed.

“Don’t do that… You never caused it and I think he probably would have still tried if he got me alone, even if you were there. He’s scum, you’re right.” I reach up and smooth the frown of his brow softly to try and shift the look on his face.

“I would have broken his bones if he had done that near me.” That hint of fierce is still there in his eye and it makes me smile, lifting my mood.

“I don’t recommend that action today though. Even if it would make you feel better.” I giggle when he breaks into a grin too.

“Yeah, don’t think it won’t be going through my mind though. Maybe it’s better you’re not with me. I think all it would take is him looking your way and I would snap. I want to do this in a way that I don’t get arrested and yet that fucker knows to never come near you again.”

“You don’t owe me this, but I’m grateful. I still think I should be there, but you’re right. I know you too. You would probably keep your cool more if I wasn’t in that room with you. I would make you more protective and more likely to beat him with his own chair.”

“That sounds pretty accurate.” He smirks and leans in to kiss me on the forehead. Straying a moment and I know he’s checking to see how hot I am.

So transparent.

“I’ll be fine. I won’t get up till your home. I swear.” I motion with a cross over my heart and try for a weak smile. Arrick regards me with a pleased expression.

“I’m glad I don’t have to tie you to the bed.” That glint in his eye even though he’s not trying to be saucy makes me giggle.

“You’ve done that a few times and if I recall, we kinda liked it. I prefer when it’s you that’s tied up though.” I nudge him suggestively.

“Maybe when you’re feeling better, we can revisit some tying to the bed.” He winks this time and swoops in for a goodbye kiss on the mouth, despite the fact I threw up. I grimace and shove his face away with a look that says, ‘you’re disgusting’ and wipe my lipstick from his mouth.

“Hmmm. I get to do it first. Bagsies.” I poke him in the face making my claim and he eyerolls at my juvenile marker card.

“Whatever makes you happy, just take it easy on how tight you sling me up. I lost all feeling in my wrists and feet last time; you can be savage sometimes.” He’s up on his feet now, smoothing down his suit and it doesn’t look wrinkled at all. In fact, it looks like it’s crisper than when he laid down.

The un-wrinkable boyfriend.

“Man up, you like it rough, or so you say and then all you do is moan like a little bitch.” I point out, rolling to my side to get comfy and checking to see how sick I still feel now that laying down has taken all the dizzy away. Arrick continues fussing over his appearance and sorts himself out while I eye him up appreciatively.

“I do like it rough, but I also like to still use my limbs after.”

“So you should say, Baby, I like it rough as long as you are still a little gentle with me.”

“If gentle still involves your cat like aggression then sure, I like it rough as long as it results in no permanent serious injury.” He turns to wink at me before scooping up his cell and sliding it into his inner pocket with a smug smile.

“Wuss; go to my school, you have a man to go beat down.” I lift a hand up in the air to motion him back to me and he follows obediently, taking my hand and following it back down to kiss me on the forehead once more.

“Will you beat me down when I get back?” He pauses with a smile over his face and I can’t help the little giggle that escapes me. I know he’s only semi joking and the thought of some kinky Arrick time is raising my temperature in a good way.

“If you’re into that… Maybe. Depends on how much you annoy me when you get back.”

“A whole lot.” The response is fully serious this time, a hint of naughty and a lot of promise.

“You’re so weird.” I shove away his face when he angles for another kiss and cover my mouth to wave him away. I don’t want to get all tongue and lip when I can still taste the leftovers of my breakfast.

“I know, but you love me anyway and it gives you a great outlet for all that fiery Sophie rage.”

I watch him move off and start pondering the fact that we do seem to like getting a bit wild sometimes. That inner doubt that sometimes creeps up that maybe I am not normal. That my past colored my sexual appetite and he plays along.

“Are we weird? Unhealthy weird and plain… Strange?” I ask warily, a peek of good old insecurity popping up.

“Why? Because sometimes we like some kinky and some rough? No. I think we’re very healthy and normal, and our sex life is probably a lot more adventurous than most.” He throws back that sexy smile, the one with the dimples, but it doesn’t ease my doubts.

“It doesn’t make you think I’m a freak?”

I don’t know why I do this to myself; it comes up every so often and I guess after all that’s happened these past months, I am still feeling insecure enough to worry. Worry that I’m abnormal, damaged, and disgusting.

“An awesome freak.” he winks naughtily at me.

“Ha Ha. I’m being serious, Arry. You don’t think I’m weird because sometimes I sort of hurt you?”

Sometimes being a lot; scratching, biting, pushing him around. I’ve even slapped him during sex and made him tie me up and smack my ass before while taking me from behind. The rougher the better and I climax like crazy during those sessions. I still remember the first time I let him cuff me to the bed and screw me like a madman, then turned the cuffs on him. I’ve choked him and urged him to hold me down and choke me. It makes me horny even thinking about it. Although Arrick is always reserved with his roughness and I don’t think I have ever felt the full brunt of what he could be capable of. He never hurts me.

Yes. I’m a freak.

“Have I ever complained? Apart from the numb limb’s thing… No. I like what we do together, I like sex when it’s soft, when it’s passionate and when it’s kinky and rough. I miss it when we go through long periods of no kink—I happen to get crazy turned on when you start scratching me up and throwing your tiny little weight around.”

Well that’s a relief. He’s maybe a freak too.

He does get really wound up when I start making the pushy moves and taking control. He also doesn’t last as long as he gets overexcited but always gets hard for a round two almost instantly.

“Is that a hint?” I ask softly, eyes wandering over his ass as he pulls up a bag from the side of the bed and have to squirm to get my hormones under control. For being sick I am getting so easily heated up it’s weird. Already pondering some rough stuff as soon as I feel better.

“Maybe; do I have to get you drunk?” he has permanent dimples from a hidden smile.

“No. Just not sick and then who knows… You might regret unleashing the beast.” I warn him. Confused that I can go from sick to upset and horny in three seconds flat.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“I need to go and, baby, unleashing your beast made all my dreams come true. Go to sleep. I won’t be long, I love you.”

“I love you more.” I get another kiss on the head and this time he pulls a throw over my upper body as he moves away.

He leaves me laid on the bed in my dress and cardigan and pulls my heels off as he passes my feet to drop on the floor. He takes one last look at me from the bedroom door, smiles, looking crazily gorgeous and leaves me to wait while he fixes my life, again.

***

Arrick has been gone for almost two hours and in that time, I have slept, eaten some food and found my way into a tee shirt and leggings on the couch to watch cartoons, snuggled up with one of my many oversized fluffy unicorns. I feel a million times better, despite the gnawing anxiety over what may be happening where he is and yet I am glad I didn’t end up going.

I know I wanted to face this and see out my last days of school, but the thought of facing Claude in that room full of people, made me terrified to the bone. Memories of that court when I faced my father in front of all those people and strangers; it hit too close to the bone and I know I wouldn’t have coped. Being on a slab, being judged and ogled by prying eyes.

Nope, Nope, Nope.

I guess it’s why I ended up throwing up. An extreme reaction to a bout of sheer petrified nerves.

I roll on my back and drop my arm over my head as I watch Tv from a new angle. Janetta wanders in with a fresh glass of orange juice, replaces my unused bowl which is ridiculous and places a plate of fruit in front of me.

“You should take a test mademoiselle.” She smiles sweetly and wanders back out when I give her a clueless smile. I have no idea what she even said, with her accent sometimes being so heavy, I miss words. I pass it off and go back to watching my little pony reruns and check my cell for the hundredth time.

Arry is infuriatingly quiet when he’s taking care of things and I’m so antsy and wound up with this dragging silence. I have changed position on the couch about forty times in the last half hour, I’m so restless.

“Hey” Arry’s voice echoes from the front door almost as soon as I drop my cell and I’m up in a flash with both the surprise and the excitement at him being back.

I almost knock him over with the speed I rush at him and throw myself into his arms with renewed energy. I was so bored here for the last two hours doing nothing and nerves have a way of making me excessively hyper.

“Hey, you… I guess you’re feeling better?” He kisses me and drops me back down on my feet from my weird hanging around his neck position, long enough to pull his suit jacket off and kick his shoes into the hall.

“I am… Was fine after a nap. Think it was nerves… What happened?” I blurt out impulsively like the child I can sometimes be. Overly antsy and rambling like a weird one.

“Come on, sit and I’ll tell you.” Arrick turns me forcefully and ushers me back to the living room, guiding me to the couch and practically pushes me to sit before he joins me. He is infuriatingly unreadable and calm, and I guess the lack of blood on his person means he’s not on the run for murder.

I hope.

“Come on tell me… How bad is it?” I sound whiny, petulant and grab his hand impatiently. I can’t sit at peace and he looks at me with an utterly indulgent expression.

“Well, I didn’t hit him, so that’s a plus.” He grins, toying with me and I get annoyed.

“Arrick Luciano Carrero!” I snap at him and get another infuriating grin. That title comes out very rarely and normally it has way more effect than this.

“Full name, huh… Must really be in the bad books, baby.” He teases me, tweaks my nose, and pushes me onto my back on the couch so I fall dramatically with a squeak. I don’t get a chance to respond as he’s on top of me in a flash and nestling himself comfortably on top of me. Much too happy, so I guess it went how he wanted it to go. “You’re not going back. You graduate without having to attend another single day; your papers are going in the mail tonight and Claude got away lightly with a little reprimand and a black mark on his resume for this one. You are not the only girl he has done this to and seems they had way more interest in an accused affair with another student, that they’re pursuing instead.”

“Oh my god, Vivien?” I gasp in surprise and think back to that little scene.

“They didn’t name her… Your tutors had nothing but great things to say about you, and I reckon any referrals or recommendations will be super amazing, seeing as I did tell them I wasn’t against pursing a sexual harassment clause if anything affected your final grading. You are free to leave Paris at any time. We’re done here. And I arranged for all your clothes and whatever else was at the school to be collected tomorrow by Boris.” He raises his brows smugly and I burst into the biggest smile before planting a huge kiss on him and wrapping myself around his neck. He is my hero in so many ways and knowing that we are really done here, done with this city and this life makes up for every single day we spent here.

“It feels good to have you back.” I giggle when he continues our sloppy kiss down my jaw and throat rather seductively.

“Get used to having me around, seems we have a week or two to pack up and ship home. I plan on a lot of late mornings and taking things easy while I have this respite. I want us to take some time to explore Paris before we leave, maybe go home with some nice memories of the city and act like the tourists we never got to be.”

“Maybe.” I watch him closely, enamored with how pretty he still is to me, even after two years of staring endlessly at the same face. It never grows boring or old. That perfect bone structure and those soft hazel eyes under that stubborn brow. I even love how his sandy hair has lightened at the tips over the years and made him a little fairer. Arry has always been beautiful and my idea of perfection, but right now I could not find a single fault.

“Want to stay home for food tonight or attempt to go out… If you’re still feeling rough, maybe we should eat something light and have a quiet night.” He nudges against me with his groin, those eyes homed in on mine, nose to nose.

“I’m fine, honestly, and now that this is done, I’m a hundred times better. Let’s go out and do something we haven’t done in a year to celebrate.” I beam up at him, curled in his arms tightly.

“What?”

“Get really, really, drunk, I mean to epic hangover standards and come home for crazy wild sex. We haven’t done that since we left New York.” I giggle when Arry starts making suggestive eyebrow twitches. The talk earlier about rough sex has been on my mind ever since and oh boy has he got it coming in grand fashion.

“That’s a plan I could really get behind.” He grins, and I shake my head cheekily.

“Or get behind me you mean? I know how much you love to get me on all fours.” I start snaking my hand under his shirt to get a feel at chiseled abs and perfect pecks, running my fingers up his sculpted body seductively. Arrick’s eyes get hazy with more flecks of green, a sure sign I am turning him on.

“You said it, not me… Now it’s in my head I am definitely getting you naked on all fours tonight.”