Chapter 32

I plod to the door and go to walk in without hesitation. Jake, close on my heels, tugs me back by my ponytail, so he can jump in front of me with a chuckle, and meets another rain of light slaps on his arm as I try to muscle him out of the way. We have carried on this way ever since I got used to the force that is Jacob Carrero, and months away have changed nothing. He is still a massive annoying douchebag that reminds me of every one of my four adopted big brothers, only more irritating and less mature than any one of them at any given time.

“Bambinos, I’m home.” Jake yells out and muscles me under his arm to squeeze my face into his armpit and ribcage so that I am almost suffocating on whatever body spray he uses and fight him with little effect. He drags me through the marble hallway as the small squeals of young children flood this way; small feet and excited faces race out from a nearby room, and he relinquishes his hold on me, thankfully. I straighten up to right my clothes and tighten my ponytail, which he has messed up, in irritation. Face burning from my near-death experience of Carrero aftershave, I shove his large shoulder hard and meet another uncaring grin.

Mia is first, faster than her baby brother at six years old, all blonde curls and soft blue eyes as she runs full speed with open arms, straight to her daddy’s legs amid excited squeals. Jake catches her and swings her up for a full-on hug and kiss. Smiles all around and delighted squeals of a child who idolizes her daddy. Little Lucah, slower but trying his hardest at just three, comes bouncing through on adorable chubby little legs, all dark-haired and green-eyed like his father, and has those irresistible Carrero dimples on show from that shy smile. Jake walks forward to bridge the gap and scoops him up with his free hand, nestling a child in each arm on either side of his face, to be smothered in kisses and adoration. He looks like the cat who got the cream and completely at home with his two babies held close.

“Dadda, Dadda, Dadda”’ the repetitive gurgling of over-excited kids trying to fight for his attention. I watch them with so much love, waiting for my turn to shower my gorgeous babies with cuddles of my own; completely torn at how much they have grown in such a short time and how much I must have missed. It hits me in the stomach like a hard blow, that while I have been out there drowning my sorrows, I’ve been missing two of my babies growing up, and I can never get that back.

“Look who’s here, Mimmos.” Jake turns my way and shoogles his children to get their attention. Mia seems to see me for the first time and squeals in giddy delight that only breaks all my defenses down and I instantly grin. Warmth flowing through every nerve ending, and every mood I have been harboring, just fizzles away.

“So-feeeeee.” She leans out at an alarming angle, throwing trusting arms towards me that could have ended in disaster if both Jake and I didn’t react quickly. He deposits her in my waiting arms with a look of relief at the near miss of his kid face planking a marble floor from a five-foot height. Mia treats me to the same hugs and slobbering kisses Jake has just endured. Lucah, however, curled up against his dad’s throat shyly, regards me suspiciously. I guess in the eyes of a three-year-old a few months are a long time, and he is no longer willing to just throw himself at me like his sister has. That internal pang of guilt eats away more as I watch the wary looks and serious expression of Jake’s mini-me with sadness.

The funny thing about these two kids is, despite the obvious looks, each child has the opposite parent’s personality. Mia is Emma to look at but Jake in a nutshell. All bold, flamboyant, and fearless and loves people like crazy. She is always the belle of the ball and center of the limelight so effortlessly and has his cheeky confident attitude, that she can wrap anyone around her little finger.

Lucah, however, is more refined, shy, and withdrawn, until he works you out from a distance, and even then, he is a much calmer child than Mia has ever been. He takes time to warm to you and has never been overly touchy-feely, even as a little baby. He likes his space and sometimes has Arrick’s cool and distant mannerisms. Not that it’s surprising, as he idolizes his Uncle and Arrick has spent as much time with these two kids as he has his brother for years. He probably rubbed off on him a little too much. Lucah regards me at a distance, while Jake leads the way to the room they came scrambling from.

“Emma, il mio amore?” Jake calls out, frowning as he sees only the nanny in the messy playroom that opens out in front of us. This used to be his pristine front living room with white couches and expensive furniture when they bought this house, but soon after Mia learned to crawl, Jake had to relinquish it to a massive playpen for his bundle of wild.

“Where is she, Nadine?” He asks gently but doesn’t need the response as the soft voice comes from behind us.

“Right here, admiring your rear, Mr. Carrero.” Emma laughs as Jake turns to her with a happy smile, scooping down to plant a kiss on her mouth that is more than just a chaste peck. Eyes only for her, like always, and a second to rub his nose against hers in that affectionate gesture I have seen him do a million times. It’s like breathing for him.

I glance away shyly, used to the ‘lovey-dovey’ displays of affection between these two, but it doesn’t mean I’m any more comfortable with it. Jake has never been shy about openly canoodling with her; something I’m glad to say I’ve never seen Arrick do with any girl. I don’t even think he is the type to perform any sort of love related PDA.

“Don’t I get a hug?” Emma’s voice brings me back around and I instantly move to hand off Mia to her, the little bundle still wrapped around my neck possessively. Emma takes her daughter and hands her back to Jake instantly, with a funny smile. “I meant from you.” She adds more pointedly, raising eyebrows at me and opening her arms towards me. I feel stupid for a second, and then relief washes over me at the lack of awkwardness or real nerves now I am faced with her.

I don’t hesitate, stepping forward into the embrace, made a little awkward by the huge bump on the front of that tiny body, and manage a sort of snuggle. It feels better than good. The soft vanilla smell of Emma and the familiar hug of someone I love to death, someone who’s always understood me without trying; because deep down we’re alike in so many ways. Emma rose from a childhood of abuse at the hands of men, and her own mother failed her, just like mine did. She is the reason I found my way to this family.

“You’re huge,” I blurt out through strained emotion, heart bursting a little bit at being back here. Tears stinging my eyes and a sense of really coming home, now I’ve seen her.

“Gee, thanks, Soph, way to make a grumpy pregnant woman feel good.” Emma giggles at me and bops me on the head with a gentle fist. Jake leans in, separating his kids so he can maneuver down and kiss his wife on the temple.

“She’s beautiful no matter how big the baby bump is. I’d still do her.” He grins cheekily as Emma elbows him in the ribs.

“Jacob! Young ears … not appropriate.” She chastises him, but he only winks and smiles harder, never one to be fully tamed, even with Emma’s chastising.

“I didn’t say the F-word, baby; besides, that created these young ears, and I’m pretty sure Sophie is old enough to not be traumatized anymore by me.” He smirks and turns towards the playroom once more as Emma sighs at him indulgently. “I’m going to take my two little devils outside to play for a while and leave you two to get reacquainted. Send Nadine out if you hear screaming; these kids of mine are wild.” He smirks once more, planting a parting kiss on his wife’s lips, lingering, before heading off through the playroom to the patio doors which lead into a fenced off play area.

We watch him saunter off casually, so effortlessly at ease with being a dad and I shake my head in sheer awe.