Chapter 68

He effortlessly moves to in fighter pose, arms in tight, light on his toes and head tucked. For someone who specializes in mixed combat, Arrick has the stance of a boxer down to a fine art. He almost dances on his feet as instinct kicks in and he goes all into trained mode, flexing his shoulders and grinning like a cheeky, cocky ass, who has as undefeated record.

Jake lifts his hands in defense, just as good at this, and just as cocky, being sometimes his brothers’ sparring partner at the gym. He takes a swipe with a flat hand at Arrick’s head, but he ducks, weaves, and lands another mock blow on Jake’s shoulder this time. Too fast and focused for even big brother Jacob. Jake grabs his wrist and attempts to yank him into a headlock, unsuccessfully, both too equally matched in this, and go trundling out away from us, while still hitting each other on the fly.

Emma and I watch them leave, pushing and shoving like kids, shaking our heads, and smiling as they get out of the room. Jake grabs a gym bag from the hall which obviously holds formal clothes for playing basketball. Arrick throws me back a half smile, a look of support, that soft one I can never resist that makes his eyebrows crazily straight, and then he’s gone. Both leave us to have some space, and I must admit, with them gone, it’s like I can just breathe a little bit more. I know what Emma is going to say, I can tell by the look that’s been on her face since she saw me with Arrick.

“What’s happening with you two then?” She smiles softly and I have to curb the ‘there it is’ moment that goes off inside me. Straightening to face her, I know this is going to happen, whether I want to talk about it or not.

“Nothing.” I sigh heavily, not sure that there is anything more to say than that. Knowing I can sit and tell her about his grand speech about feelings, but something tells me she probably already knows all of it. Judging by the way she’s looking at me, I can almost guarantee that Arrick, or at least Jake, has told her he doesn’t know how he feels.

“Nothing? He’s here with you. Last time I saw you, he was most definitely someone you were cutting out of your life.” Emma raises her brows, and I can tell by the little knowing smirk she has known a while longer than I give her credit for. She probably knows a lot more than I do.

“You knew he was confused about all of this?” I ask pointedly. Watching her this time and wondering why she hasn’t told me before now, why she’s sat on this in the past weeks of me trying to move on, but then, knowing her and how her mind works, I can see why she let him tell me himself.

“I know that he’s struggling to figure out what he actually feels, yes. He talks to Jake about everything, and he has talked to me a little about it too. He’s really confused, got a lot going on in that crazily complex head of his. I used to think Jake was hard work, Arrick is so much more of an over-thinker than he ever was.” Emma smiles affectionately, obvious adoration for her brother-in-law, and I know they have a good bond. A sibling bond of sorts, and that Arrick confides in Emma when he needs more than Jake’s mind involved.

“What did he say?” I raise questioning brows her way, so glad that I have someone else I can talk to about this, someone who can help me figure out how to play this, someone with Arrick’s insight, who knows him well. So far, Arry has given me nothing to work with, other than it’s to be left alone until I get sorted in school, which feels like delaying tactics with no real substance.

“You know I can’t tell you anything he asked me to not repeat, all I can do is tell you what I know he would have told you. That there’s something between you both, and he really has no clue how to navigate it. His head’s a complete war zone of conflicting thoughts concerning you, your relationship, and his relationship with Natasha. When he couldn’t see you, he called Jake daily to check in and ask how you were getting on. He cares, Sophie, more than the average guy friend would, and I think he’s realize that.” Emma watches me, and then a small flicker of something runs across her face and she inhales a little sharply. Her hand going to the bump for a moment and she visibly holds her breath. Such a sudden gesture that catches me off guard, considering my head was on Arrick and now it is most definitely all on her. My inner panic alarm goes into overdrive.

“Are you okay? Do I need to get Jake?” I’m already reaching for my bag to get my cell, but she stops me with a wave, a feeble smile, and a set of raised eyebrows.

“False alarms. I get them a lot. Been having niggles all day from overdoing it. I’m fine. It’s nothing. Happens all the time.” She smooths over her bump again and takes a long steady breath, her face returning to normal and she seems over it.

I pause for a moment, watching her for a few seconds and see that she seems absolutely fine, no hint of hiding anything and the rush of nerves cool a little in my bloodstream. I relax back into my chair, still eyeing the bump, but I am pretty sure she knows her own body. It’s not like this is her first rodeo; she’s getting to be a dab hand at popping out mini Carreros.

“If you’re sure. Do you want me to go and let you rest? Come back tomorrow?” I ask her, but her immediate headshake has me staying put, although I do slide my phone on the table between us, gut instinct telling me I should keep it handy. Just in case.

“No. I am fine, really; still got two weeks to go yet, and neither of the previous two was early. They both took their time and casually sauntered in after the due date. Jake’s children through and through.” She smiles widely, that twinkle in her eye whenever she says his name. I smile too, a gush of affection for these two people who are so genuinely happy in love.

“The nanny will deal with the kids and I want to know how you’re doing, how this whole Arrick thing is affecting you.” Her normal Emma face is focused back on me, and I let out a massive sigh.

“Arghhh.” Lifting my hands in sheer confused frustration, making a dramatic face, brushing aside my concerns for her health, especially with this topic back on the table.

“That bad?” Emma chuckles and I smile too.

“He’s being Arrick. What more is there to say? Delivers a speech, offers a solution, and then brushes aside all the emotional stuff to focus on the goal. He is putting all of this in a box and shelving it until I get settled in school, sorted with my own place, and I don’t even know what to feel about any of it. He either loves me or he doesn’t! What does he need to think about? What’s stopping him? It just has me so frustrated inside, like none of this seems real.” I pull my glass towards me and run a finger around the rim absentmindedly, looking for a fidget focus to try and calm the crazy tide of thoughts going through my head.

“Overthinker. Puts his head over his heart. Rationalizes everything, even when he should go with his gut, chooses to keep everyone happy over his own feelings sometimes. Chooses to push aside anything he can’t handle facing. Pick one; he has many adorable, yet crazily frustrating, personality traits that are interfering with his ability to choose, Sophie. He thinks it’s overstepping boundaries because of our families being close, the age difference, your past. Natasha. This may be a case of black and white to you, but Arrick has always been someone who evaluates everything in multiple shades of gray.” Emma frowns at me, eyebrows cutely dipping as she regards me with a warm half smile.

“Meaning?” I frown at her desperately. Fidgeting with my thumbnail and tapping my foot against my chair leg. Anxiety always my constant friend.

“He weighs everything up and looks for the least damaging outcome. Tries to juggle everything calmly and get the happiest solution for all. It goes against his character to be a Jake, to go with his heart impulsively and throw everything else out the way; even if he’s only leaving himself unhappy.” Emma picks up her glass and I pause when I see that little flicker hit her face again. This time my stomach lurches as I can see she has actual pain. She stops dead and breathes shallowly.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask warily, my focus now intent on her and the way she is sitting completely still with barely any expression. It’s like she’s internally trying to control herself with long minutes of painful stillness, and then lets out a huge breath and frowns at me with a more serious expression.

“Maybe you should call Jake and just, you know, ask him to maybe come home.” She smiles weakly but seeing the color drain from her face has me scrambling for my cell as panic hits me hard. I can’t seem to make my fingers work, as tingling cold filters through my body, that reaction of ‘Oh, my God’ hits me hard and I fumble.