Chapter 29 Supposed to be married

He held me but could not rest his hands because he did not know where to hold me. It was as if my whole being suddenly went cold when I realized I was not wearing any clothes and I was only wearing underwear and a front clasped bra. I immediately crossed my hands in front of my chest. Trying to cover myself.

"Get out of here!"

"Where's the pain? What happened to you?"

He ignored me and made me even more irritated.

"I said get out of here!"

I stood up again and I almost slipped again. My eyes closed and I felt Levi's whole body envelop me before I could slip again. His chest squished my breast. And his hands are on my back supporting me so I don't fall again.

How cheap he said because of what I did. What the hell? I'm on my underwear and he's seeing me like this? I'm so miserable, I swear I will never drink again!

"Please get out of here."

I said softly and his angry eyes dropped at me. He just stared at me. I could see water dripping from the ends of her hair. He's on his slacks and he's wet! With one hand he was able to pick up the soap. I felt his hands on my skin gently rubbing it into mine.

Seems like his patience had come to an end so he's taking a bath with me now. His other arms are wrapped into my waist while one hand is busy with my body. I was embarrassed but also lost myself because of his serious face focused on what he was doing.

I felt his hands on my chest almost touching the above of my breast. I let out a soft moan on what he did. Like a trigger, he violently returned the soap and stopped what he was doing. He reached for the shampoo, and gently massaged my head with all that bubble forming.

It doesn't smell like him, it seems to smell like a woman. Instead of calming down I just remembered how many women so he brought here just because of that shampoo. Out of irritation I look at his face.

"How many women did you bring here?"

His hand stopped and he stared at me again. His eyes were angry as if I couldn't help if I spoke any more.

"Tell me first the reason why you lied to me and I will answer you."

He said emphatically in his deep voice.

"Three? Five? How many more Levi? Did you take them to bath like this? Or more of that ... fvck them in here? "

He slammed the wall hard behind me and raised both hands there. My heart was pounding at the thought that he would hurt me. I was so close to his neck because of the sudden release he made of me. He's fumming mad, now I'm sure he's furious and he won't forgive me anymore.

"That sweet mouth of yours is becoming so dirty huh?"

I licked my lips when I trail the drops of water on his hair down to his jaw and to hid wide and hard chest.

"I'm still not over with you going to that club, to see you hanging out there is another matter."

My legs trembled at his tone. He was furious. I can feel the intensity of his muscles along with the anger that he had been suppressing earlier.

"And I don't bring a fvcking woman here. You are the first, only and will always be the last."

I gulped, I followed every opening of his lip. I bit my lip when my hands touched his biceps hanging on my side. He is already confining me to this position of ours. Hot water continues to flow into our bodies.

"Then what about you fiance?" I whispered.

The look was on his chest because that was the only level of my vision.

"What?" He hissed frustratingly.

"After this pretending of us, your fiance will show up and you can finally get married."

I looked up into his eyes. I could see the mixture of annoyance and confusion in him, his lips pitying as if he didn't know what to say because he couldn't understand me.

"Don't even try to deny it, everybody knows and your mother came this morning and that's what she slapped on my face."

I smirked.

"The fvck are you tryna 'say?"

"Fine! I admit! I like you! I'm attracted to you! Not even attracted, if there's more to the word love that's it! I admit that!"

I let go of him and he immediately grabbed my waist with one of his palms.

"I admit! I actually did think of being your mistress because it feels so right to be with you. It's so wrong Levi, but hell. I'm willing to suffer in hell in exchange for the heavenly moment to be with you."

My tears formed like a cloud, especially when I could see his eyes almost melt me.

"It's so painful that I can't even get a little angry with you because I'm more angry with myself! I'm angry because few years have passed and you're still there! You and and still you are!"

I punched his chest.

"But of course! When did the world side me? It's okay! I accepted it, you have your fiance and you are getting married and so I need to let you go."

"Uh-huh?"

I sobbed and wiped away the dripping tears even though it was pointless because it just dripped in tiny drops of water on my face.

How can I release him like this? Can I just be selfish? I nodded and felt the pressure of his body on me.

"Yes. I accept that Levi. That even I have all the things that I want in this world the only person that I need will never be mine alone."

"Baby, I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Yes you have! You are supposed to be married-"

"Well yeah, if you hadn't left then we might be married now."

My heart beat faster at what he said.

"But maybe it's a good thing you left ... look at you now and everything you have. That's what I'm most afraid of before Ava, that I may just be hindrance for your goals. And I don't want that. "

His finger caressed my cheek and I closed my eyes there. It seemed lacking in the moment his skin caressed me.

"Because I don't want to tie you to me. You were so young and that's not the love that you deserve. You always do anything by yourself and I let you experience things that you wanted. Even deep inside myself I know that anything you desire, I can always make it happen. I'm scared Ava, but I trusted you. "

His eyes are blood shot. The strong current of water disappeared with a twist he had on my back.

"So can you even imagine me when you left?"

My lips trembled and my tears fell like crazy just by hearing the words from his lips.

"You left me. And I didn't understand that."

My heart ached more when I saw a tear fell in his eye. It was like a bubble that lost all my resentment and worry about everything. He is the only one in my mind.

"I let you do anything you want, I loved you the way I knew but fvck! You still left me."

I put my palm on his nape and didn't let the tears escape from his eyes. I can't bear seeing him like this, weak and hurt.

"But I am the child of you father's mistress ... your brother is also my brother so how would I-"

"Fvck, of course I knew that!" He growled.

I gave another caress to his jaw and his body calmed down again. He held my hand caressing his. "I can't understand a thing Ava. Why is it so hasty for you to leave me without saying goodbye.

I let you do the things you wanted when the only thing I wanted you to do was to trust me ! To fvcking hold unto me when things get rough. "

"I'm the child of the woman who ruined your family. The reason why you-"

"But it's not you."

He whispered and touched my lips, it parted. His eyes were full of adoration and longing. My tears flowed. Now I realized that we both have the same mindset. That I could let it all go because of him. When it came to him I had no choice but to forgive, which made it easier for me to forgive because he was always among the choices.

Looking at his eyes, my mind became even more confused. I was shaken and bowed down in a state of extreme turmoil. Is there any way out? How can I diffuse this bomb without hurting anyone?

"My brother ..." I shook. Not sure how to proceed with what to say.

"Your family ... Mom and Dad ..."

"But baby, what about me? What about me huh?"

He begged and wiped my tears.

"What about me Ava? I'm here. Have I ever been included in your choices?"

I keep shaking because with just one word from him, I will forget everything and I will choose him. I can't ...

"Because for me it's always been you. And I'm yours ... alone."