Chapter 45 Reason

Chapter 45 Reason

A few days have passed and we still haven't seen each other. I am no longer satisfied with the few hours we make vi-video calls. When I'm so orphaned by him I'm being too irrational every time we talk. I can't say I miss him or I want to be with him because for sure one word from me he'll come and will grant what I want. So that becomes the system we will not sleep well just because I miss him, I will be annoyed for no reason. I 'm crazy. Am I this crazy about him?

"Are you tired? Hungry? Tell me?"

I timidly shook my head looking at his face in the screen.

"Then what's wrong? Why are you so upset hmm?"

I just snorted and restrained myself from telling him the reason. His brows furrowed, almost looking devastated. He leaned himself back in his seat. He's still at VREC. It's a pity because he looks so tired all day, he's been there overtime and I'm still here, driving around out of place.

We've been like this for a few days, and day by day I don't like what's happening even more, I'm being so toxic. I hate that he's the only one who can wake this sleeping attitude of mine. I hate my self. I turn off my cam and put it into voice call. His forehead was scratched because of the annoyance he felt. I heard him sigh.

"What's the problem? Did you fought with your brother?"

"No." My eye hit the door. I remember Lourd leaving with Lucy.

"Does your plates stressing you? I can help you with that."

He made another gentle suggestion. I flopped myself on the couch and looked out at the tall buildings outside.

"No."

"What's wrong with my baby? Tell me, please." I shut my eyes tight. I feel like my chest will explode when I miss him and then I will hear another voice from him. I no longer just answered and listened to the other line. The line was silent for how many seconds.

"Can I drop by in your place later?" My heart skipped a bit. A slight hint of joy passed due to anticipation but something seemed to be bothering me.

"You w-will?"

"Yes, you've been sulky for how many days. I want to check what's causing you so much stress."

I bit my lips trying to suppress a smile. He's only here for a while, isn't he? Maybe before they came back Lucy was already home. I can't just waste this chance, even just for a few minutes, I just really want to hug him.

"Hmm ... kay." I can't go on saying.

"Do you want anything, for dinner perhaps?" I'd like to tell him just in case that's wrong.

"Hmm, there's some food here in the unit."

"How about some sweets? You love sweets right?"

It was as if his subjects were tickling my heart. He knew me so well. It took me a long time to answer because I was still thinking about what I wanted to eat.

"Uhm, ice cream?"

I heard his faint chuckle.

"Okay, ice cream for my sulky wife then."

My face warmed at what he said. Wife? He's making things up, and that's not pretty! I only waited half an hour, and I heard the door bell outside. My heart raced like a horse with so much excitement to see him. A white shirt and a shorts, I'm good. I've been dressed up all the time so it's more comfortable like this.

A peak on the door, I saw him. Holding a paper bag on his one hand and still on his suit, his tie is a bit loose yet he's looking fresh and subtle. Effortlessly taking my heart away. The side of his lips rose, my cheeks warmed when I realized I've consumed some seconds checking him out. I immediately averted my gaze and widened the crack in the door. And like every time he will see me, inevitably.

He met the gap between us and kissed the side of my lips, he hugged me and buried his face into the space between my shoulders and my head. I grabbed unto his broad shoulders, his scent was already biting into the entire hallway of my unit. I miss him, I feel like I'm in comfort. The anxiety and stress have left me all of a sudden, just with his touch and I'm okay. We settled ourselves in my couch, he took off the tie that was still around his neck, he laid it on the center table with his keys and his wallet.

He grabbed the paper bag and gave it to me.

"Thank you." even though the flesh had never been seen before. He just look at me considerately. Among what I told him to buy were solo tubs of different flavors of ice cream. This is a lot. Who will eat them?

"I'll just get a spoon. Do you want something?"

When I break the silence. His eyes trembled. He looks really tired. If I only knew I would not have let him here. I take two tablespoons in case he also wants to eat ice cream. I also brought a glass of water just in case I get thirsty. I hand him the other spoon but he didn't even bother to look at it, instead he grabbed the wrist of my hand making me fall on his lap. His arms and snaking tight on my waist, jailing me.

"L-levi, the couch is wide?" I have said few.

"Hmmm?" He sniffed my hair and kissed my ears. It gently strokes down my neck. I reached for a flavor of ice cream and focused on it. I snorted as I tried to open the ice cream seal. He quickly screened and snatched it from me, he effortlessly opened it.

"Thanks." In a small voice. I don't know why I'm nervous now that he's here. Isn't this what I want?

"Where's your brother?" He asked.

"Our brother." correcting him while scooping a bit of the vanilla ice cream.

"He's out with Lucy." He was silent and there was no answer to what I said. When I looked back at him in the middle of sipping ice cream I saw he was just looking at me seriously. The more my heart felt sorry for him, the more I felt that he was not okay. I don't know if he's tired or he has some problems.

"Is there a problem with VREC?"

He just shook his head, burying his face in my neck again. His warm breath and hard sighs were all his response.

"Why are you so sulky this past few days huh? And now you're starting a conversation like everything's normal?" I bit my lip, dipped the scoop into the ice cream to have a reason not to answer.

"Do you know how nervous I am coming here? Afraid that you might lock me outside."

I almost choked on his tone.

"I'm just ... stress with my plates. Deadline and ... yeah."

I could barely keep up with the lies coming out of my mouth.

"Hmmkay?"

My eyes shut automatically. I craned my neck because of his breath, the spoon was left in my mouth while a soft moan almost escaped. Realizing what was being done I turned to him and the wide and playful eyes woke me up. I cleared my throat.

"I can help you."

"No. I'm almost done."

I put the ice cream on the center table so that her thigh would not get wet from the dripping water there. The moment I got back from crouching he tilted his head and reach for my lips. It was quick and soft as a feather. Shocked though that didn't seem to be enough for me. I just avoided looking at him, thinking of topics we could talk about.

"How is the investigation?" He did not answer me, instead he got the unattended spoon in the tub and scooped some for him.

"Your lips are much sweeter than this, why is that?"

I sniffed and lightly slapped his arm. This one! He just stared at me, from my eyes his sight dropped to my lips. I felt his grip on my waist tightened. The eyes seemed to indicate something else.

"How was your 4 years in New York?" My brows furrowed. Suddenly?

"Uhm, fine? Why? Are you still angry because I left before?"

"Unusual things and suspicions with somebody while you're there?" I smiled awkwardly. I seem to have a strange feeling about his seriousness.

"With the people around you, perhaps people you meet and care about?"

"W-wait," I stood in front of him for words that could not be found. He looked up at me with worried and fragile eyes.

"Is this about the investigation?"

"I'll send some of our men here to guard you-"

"What? N-no! Guard me? Why? W-what's wrong?"

"For now, I need to make sure about your safety. I can't risk you at this moment."

"What do you mean? Levi, I'm confused. What happened to the investigation? And how will it concern me?"

"Hush, okay-okay. Calm down. Shit."

I saw in his firm grip the great difficulty of giving me what I asked for. It all made me even more confused.

"Come here, please."

Slowly I approached him again. I was so weak that I sent her to sit on her thigh because of the nervousness I was feeling.

"You do know this co-model of yours right? The one I met in one of your shoot."

"Nadine? What about her?"

"She's in a relationship with your friend."

"With my friend? Who?"

His lips are in grim line. He did not fill my curiosity so I myself dug up the names in my mind. Friend ... Friend ....

"We need to wait for further-"

"Justine?" I cut him.

"T-they are in a relationship? How? When? And how did you find out ..."

The words could not be continued and it seemed that fragmented pieces were gradually forming in the mind.

"Tell me I'm not the reason of Mariel's death Levi."

He touched my hand but I did not let him got into me.

"So it was really about me? Huh?"

My voice croaked. Looking at his eyes, made my world fall. I slowly closed my eyes and felt the tightness of my chest.

"Baby,"

"Tell me everything please." I begged. He did not answer.

"Please!"

"We're still looking for some possibilities and evidences. That's the further we've dug in. We need some of your statements again."

"I didn't know they are together Levi. I met Nadine in a fashion week, while Justine is tryna ... court me all this time. How ..."

"He tried to court you?" He said emphatically. I gulped.

"Yes, But I made myself clear to him from the very start, I only want him as a friend."

"You don't have to clarify anything with him."

Dumfounded, I rubbed my forehead.

"Levi this is not the time to get jealous!"

"Of course I am. But that's not it. That maybe one of the reason why that girl is after you. One of the gun men confirmed that she paid them to shot that woman who always pretends to be you and copied you every time and anywhere. "

My eyes are shaking from what I'm hearing.

"No ..."

"Yes. There's also a possibility that she hire that woman just to pretend to be you and made a scandal to show in public. And just when she thought that it was effective, I already found the truth before she could even made a move. I did not believe it was you in that video, that 's why I hired my own men to investigate about that matter. I discovered it unintentionally."

"So you knew about this all along?"

"That's just how far I've known. Everything just became so complicated with that woman."

"Mariel?" He nodded.

"That woman tried to ask for you help am I right?"

I nodded slowly, Mariel's face in the cloud of tears in my eyes was all I could see. How she begged until her last breath to hear her out.

"We investigated that model because she's one of the possible suspects of that scandal. But we didn't see any evidences nor reasons to suspect her. So the investigation into her also stopped. There is a possibility that someone else is acting for her that's why her background is clean. And that Mariel, they killed her because she's the only one who knows the person behind this. "

Felt like a bomb of truth exploded to my face. Nadine?

"Nadine-" I suppressed my sobs, Mariel's eyes were what I could see and I felt intense guilt.

"Why ... That's too much. If the only reason was because of Justine why would she go that far?" "We don't know. That's why I'm doing my best to caught her."

"She's out?"

"He's hiding from the authorities. We have to be careful because we're not sure of the enemy here."

"What do you mean? You said one of the gun men confirmed that she's at fault here already. Why not just focus on her?"

"There's a possibility that one of the people around you is helping her."

"And Mariel ... She died just because ..."

"I know, but don't blame yourself please. Don't admit the guilt you didn't do. And if she did live, she will for sure go in jail because of so much case-"

"Levi," His eyes widened a bit as they met me.

"That woman ... the only thing she did wrong was to tell me that late. Besides ... nothing."

He looked at me with emotion I couldn't read, wiped my tears and said. She did nothing wrong. She had no choice but to follow orders without knowing that she'll put her feet in grave. If only I was there for her earlier than all of this. She may not be good to me when we were young and she maybe did not look unto me as her friend, but Mariel ... I treated her as one. I should have been there for her.

"But still, I can't put you at risk. Guilty or not I'll do the same just to keep you safe. I told you, I won't let you slip on my arms again. I won't loose you, not this time. "

My heart and mind have not been quiet since Levi and I talked. He really did hire some men. He told me it's safer to stay here for a while until Nadine is seen. My statements are not enough, even Justine is unaware of what is happening. Out of all people, he's the least I expected to be part of this because I know he cared for me at least.

I didn't talk to him, but according to Levi his statements were just all about Nadine being his fvck buddy when they meet at some of fashion events, occasions or shoots. He stated that he did not have any relationship with her and he has nothing to do about all of this. And at this point I don't know if I should trust anyone else.

"You knew about this?"

"He told it to me. I was trying to keep in touch of that case. He's right, you can't just gamble your life."

I had no appetite. I saw Lucy pouted. I feel like I am the most stupid person in the world. I'm unconscious of anything, I'm left with the truth and whatever else is behind it all.

"But I can't just stay here and do nothing, what if I'm not Nadine's only target. What if he's after the people around me too? You, Lucy is Levi!" Did he stand up?

"I can help. I can show up to the public, for sure she'll-"

"Enough, Ava Cyreese!" his voice thundered. Lucy motioned for me not to answer and just stopped because of the anger Lourd showed.

"You won't use yourself as a bait. No fvckin way that we'll allow that to happen. You will stay here until they caught her! That's it." He said with finality.

I was in tears when he left me there and Lucy immediately followed him. It was a rainy afternoon when Lucy and I were left here in my unit. Lourd is out, probably because of the investigation. I silently gazed at the shady sky as I stood in front of the tall mirrors. Dull and gray sorroundings.

During the time I loved the city, I only now felt a strong hatred for it. Thinking about Mar De Vena, and how simple my life there. I thought, if I hadn't been a model would this have happened? If I stayed in Mar De Vena, working in a coffee shop peacefully. Or trying to meet ends meet, no life will be put at risk. I often think that God is so unfair. That he never saw nor hear the pleading of his people.

I always wondered why whoever else was in need was still the one he couldn't hear. Why whoever else kisses the ground is still the one he let fall down and suffer. So maybe I dreamed of stepping on top of the world. I always thought and feel that If I'm way up here, God will hear me, God will look down into me and hear all my sentiments.

But now I realize, he's not unfair. The only unfair is the mind that thinks, the mouth that talks, and the body who deeds. A doorbell broke my silence. I walked down the hallway to the main door. One of the body guards who was suspending outside came up to me.

"Ma'am, we just confirmed if you called a food service."

"Food service?"

"Yes. I have a pizza delivery and you have your name on it." My brows furrowed, I peered out the door and saw another body guard there. About two meters away I saw a man in the uniform of a familiar restaurant. He's holding a 2 box of pizza in his hands. My mind went blank seeing him. One hit of our vision almost weakened my knee. He immediately bowed his head when he almost looked at me, afraid that the guards would suspect him. Jomar ...

"I-there is."

My eyes are fixed to his. While the guards talk and confirmed to give me the delivery which I did not order in the first place. He approached to hand the pizza to me but the guard towered over him making him stop.

I hold my breath while he slowly gave the box into the guard. He just bent down and slowly turned around, with slow steps he drifted away. My heart pounded as I walked back into the unit. I could do nothing but sit down to look at the pizza box. I can feel that he has something important to tell me, but because of the situation he couldn't.

I bet he expected to talk to me at least but he probably didn't know that there was already a guard around me. I can't just tell them to let him because if it gets to Levi the situation will be even more chaotic. He's the guy in the video with Mariel.

They are clearly in a relationship. I knew he knew something about them so he wanted to talk to me. What if he's also in danger? No ... I can't be this naive and innocent again. I will never let anyone perish just because I did nothing. I walked back and forth to think of a good way to talk to Jomar. A couple of minutes I stared at the box of pizza when I noticed the hand written address into it. I felt like a flash of hope when I saw that. A certain address written to it, familiar I'm just not sure where I saw that.

"Where ..." I bit my lip. Holy God! This is the same address written in the papers I'm receiving this past weeks. Shit. Trembling with my whole being I looked at the door where Lucy was sleeping.

I walked down the hallway and looked at the main door. How would I get away without them knowing? How? I didn't walk into my room on my own, as if my brain was being drilled with the amount of thinking just to get out of here without them knowing.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing an oversized shirt and a denim shorts, with slippers. If I get dressed they will notice I am leaving. Lucy is in a deep sleep. My only problem was the guards Levi hired. I got my keys and my phone with me. I stuffed it in my pocket to really make sure they didn't find out.

"Uhm, excuse me ... Can I have some help? I need to climb as high as the ... Uhm ... The clothes in the living room." They both looked at each other and nodded. Only one of them will enter.

"Uh, t-that's a lot! You can't do that alone." I grabbed their attention. They looked at each other again and I knew they were thinking only one thing.

"I'll be staying at my room. Don't worry." I sighed and smiled.