Chapter 8 Beg

True enough the whole dine was a peace of my mind. Even though I could feel his harsh stare at me I became calm. And at least he knew how to respect my space, maybe he felt against me for doing this.

He's right, he'd better not speak for the sake of making peace between the two of us. I didn't finish the salad that was served to me, I checked my phone and tried to book a grab again but nothing really. I keep on reminding myself to purchase a car tomorrow, I'll just ask

Tita Matilda if I can just get a driver temporarily. The bill arrived and I quickly reached for my handbag. But before I could accomplish my goal the man in front of me dropped a card. He was speechless and didn't seem to notice what I was doing. "I'll pay for it. I'll pay for your delivery to me." Me because he really ignored me.

"Don't hurt my pride."

His lips rose giving me a sincere smile.

"The same Ava I met in the Island of Mar De Vena."

Like a bomb's sudden burst. My calm disposition is like a lion going crazy now.

"You won't bring that up to me."

I clenched my fist and my eyes watered because of anger. How dare him. I forgave them without even needing for their apology and now here he is acting like some sort of a douche bag bringing up my past. He gasped when he looked at me.

Even before I had a scandal there I stood up and left him. He called me a few times but I ignored that. I'm holding my breath like I was holding my tears to fall down. Damn him! Until now, he will still give me pain. I don't know him, I never met him. I got outside and was almost shocked to see that his car was parked there and the valet who greeted me was still smiling.

"Ava."

Just hearing him uttering my name was enough to make my blood boiling. I closed my eyes tightly because I knew he was approaching behind me.

"Ava, wait."

He grabbed my wrist making me face him. The weariness of his eyes trailed my face as he saw my tears flowing in my cheeks. He looked devastated with his tired eyes and muttered some curses. He tightly shut his eyes sign of him having a hard time. I suppressed the sobs coming out of my lips. I held my chest. It's only now that I've felt this pain again, a few years ago, but until now the cause of the pain is still the same.

He towered over me as he hold both of my shoulders like I'm a lost child he found in a mall while strolling. My tears keep on flowing, as he wipes those, another will appear. His curses are silent as he looked at me miserably.

"You left me."

His eyes are pitch black and tired, far from his voice softly kissing me. It looks like he was holding some emotions to himself and it won't let you read whatever it is.

"I want to go home."

My voice cracked. My heart is hurting so bad. The man I used to love before is now different from who's in front of me. And it hurts so bad to think that even after all of pain he inflicted and his family I knew deep inside nothing have changed the way my heart beats for him. It's like a drug that hurts you but you still want it.

"Hush. Yes, I'll take you home. Let's go."

He grabbed my hand and walked me to his car. He opened the car's door for me and quickly closing it he rotated the driver's seat. Without a word he started the car as my tears continued to flow. The whole drive was a gasped of breath. All I hear was his silent curses while he keeps on glancing at me. It was only a few minutes away from where we were and I wasn't wrong because when his car stopped, my tears kept coming.

I probably look so miserable right now. How did he even know the tower I'm at? I unbuckled my seat belt and like a kid I covered my face with both of my hands. My heart wont stop its painful beating. Each beat hurts more.

"I know you're not ready to talk about it. But damn, your tears will be the death of me." my sob grew louder as I felt his hands urging me to remove it.

"Look at me."

I shook my head. He sighed.

"Damn baby, please don't make this hard for us."

My heart ached more the way he called me. How dare him, just how dare him. I felt him hold both of my hands urging me to look at him. I wiped his hands and he inhaled there. I drastically wipe my tears and compose myself preparing to go out. I held my bag and stormed out his car. I heard him calling me and just a second later, he towered over me.

"Ava," he pleaded.

I leveled my eye to him. His eyes are gentle, miserable, and flowing like a river - cold and unending. It washed all the goodness out of me and left me in a mere past the once I have been. Like a thousand paper cuts for every time I remembered my loss was another damage for me. Looking at him felt like a flashback. All my sorrow pushed me from my being. I'm the 18 year old Ava from Mar De Vena.

I was honest, truthful, soft, innocent - yet apparently all that is negated by this man in front of me. Whom I left my heart with and let him crushed it into pieces. How can this life be this unfair? Why can't I just love him the way I want? By the time I choose myself I'm loosing him and when I choose him, I'm loosing myself. Why would the world want me to bleed and sweeping of the ground? I have to accept it, in this heartache the sun won't shine. But at least there's this night of darkness and there, I will leave in peace.

"Let's just pretend that we don't know each other."

His weak eyes turned gloomy and dangerous not liking what he just hear. My tears are flowing, my lips quivered when I tried to smile but I failed.

"I'm going." I walk past him.

He pulled me back to him like a spring. He hold my nape and claimed my lips. His eyes are tight shut looking so desperate. My heart just skipped a bit. Feeling his lips on mine made me close my eyes tightly. Waves of electricity traveled like memories. Things I had long forgotten came back again. I tried to struggle, I pushed his chest but he didn't move a bit. His lips left mine but he snaked his arms around my waist. At his height I just plunged into his chest and his scent bites into my system.

"Let go of me!" He was silent and kept me in his arms. My heart is almost betraying me, I have forgotten the pain of yesterday. It was like a nightmare that I wouldn't want to wake up to.

"You're not gonna do that to me. Not this time. Not again."

My heart ached. . It looks like it's creasing. I can feel it breaking into pieces at what he said. My blood boiled at his statement. With all my might I dismissed his hold on my hand and furiously met his eyes.

"It took me a long time to myself to forgive your family so don't waste all that."

My jaw was almost locking from stopping the pressure on my throat. From stopping myself to shout at him.

"We've waste enough of that time you're talking about Ava."

A sacred silence rose on what he just uttered. His eyes are blood shot and saw tension to his face, inability for me to think follows. My legs and my eyes couldn't stand on their own function.

"Just fvckin 'hear me out." He groaned. I gasped, so amused at what he said. "Hear you out? Which one? Your lies?"

His eyes are dark the blood shot. The restraint is obvious here.

"To hear how you took advantage of my feelings as part of your plans with your mom? The person who caused everyone to lose everything I have? Is that it !? Is that what you want me to hear?"

I held back my tears but they were as treacherous as my heart. His eyes traced the tears falling on my cheeks and his expression paled.

"Levi, it's not you.-" My voice cracked, with my excessive restraint a sob came out of there. My lips are trembling looking at his dumbfounded eyes.

"You weren't the one who was there when that woman insulted me, you weren't the one who was there to reject my brother. You weren't the one who was hurt, you weren't the one who was humiliated, you weren't the one who was deprived." His lips parted at the intensity of the anger I displayed.

"You're not the one who lost a ... family." I cringed at the extreme pain I felt. "And now, I'm still the one with g-guilt?" I sobbed.

My knee was weakening, I touched my chest in excruciating pain. He scooped me in one move. He forced me to stand up but he did not succeed so he knelt down in front of me and slammed me into his chest. In my irritation and anger I pushed him with all my might. I was too frustrated seeing him not even moving an inch even though I was spending all my energy just to drive him away. His arms are wrapped around me almost suffocating me.

He kissed the side of my head. When he did that, I became very weak. I held unto his muscular arms that I've dreamed so much. His scent, his presence, all of him.

"I hate you. I hate you so much."

I bawled. I can no longer recognize myself with the strength of my cries in his arms. The heart was divided at what was said.

"I know ... I know."

I closed my eyes tightly at each strong and tender utterance. I don't know how many minutes we are on the floor at this dark parking lot. Him, soothing me with his kisses and touch until I calm down. And when I got all the courage in me, I slowly slipped out of his arm and stood up permanently. He followed my eye and he looked up. I can see hope in him and it makes me even more miserable.

"Ava, please."

He begged and wept left kneeling in front of me, still not getting up from the position earlier.

"No Levi, this is my limit."

The moment you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart.

"You're a blessing and I'm a curse, heavens wouldn't adjust to that."

Now and then he will always struck my heart with cries of anguish, grief and lamentations.