Don't Turn Around

Fire in the pit of his stomach. Fire everywhere. Intense heat spread all over Rowan's body as he tore his shirt over his head, unbuckled his leather belt, and pushed down his trousers. Once he focused on Reyna again, she had discarded her nightgown and was standing bare and flustered in front of him.

He swept his eyes down the curves of her body. His body reacted strongly to the sight. Candlelight danced across her skin, giving it the warm glow that was never there. With all the scars, bruises, and the bandage above her left hip, she was still God's most beautiful creation.

He was too distracted to notice how long he'd been gawking at her with his cock standing shamelessly at attention. Only when she crossed her arms over her chest to hide her nakedness did he flinch back to reality.

He took a step forward, holding her nervous gaze as he placed his left hand on her hip, the other on her neck, before trailing two fingers down to her collarbone, the valley of her breasts, her stomach...

Goosebumps rose on her skin as she gasped and shuddered. She swept his hair back, fisting it tight as he slipped a finger into her heat. He worked his finger in and out of her, their mouths reattached, his tongue caressing hers as he swallowed all the sounds she made. He was unconsciously rutting his swollen cock against her stomach. He felt her cold hands making their way down his back, to his chest, his abs, his biceps, his buttocks. Pleasure fanned the flames inside of him into bigger and bigger ones.

A groan got stuck in his throat when her fingers found his cock. Before he could stop her, she was on her knees, staring up at him through her thick lashes, puppy dog eyes making his cock twitch embarrassingly. He dropped down on his knees as well and touched her face.

"You don't have to," he said, kissing her neck.

"I know," she told him and shoved him to the mattress. He lay on his back, head propped up as she crawled on top of him. He panted when she put her mouth on his nipple and licked, eyes locked with his as she did the same to the other one. His stomach clenched when she kissed it.

Her fingers closed around his needy cock again as her mouth reached his groin, leaving sloppy kisses until she sucked the head of his cock into her mouth. His hips bucked, causing her to stop. She looked scared. She thought she'd done something wrong.

It was in that moment that he remembered she'd never done this before. He sat up, back against the wall as she scooted closer so he could pet her hair.

"Did I do something wrong?" she shyly asked.

"No, you took me by surprise, that's all," he murmured with a lazy grin.

"May I...continue?" she pleaded, her lashes fluttering. "Please let me try. I know how."

Right. She'd been taught to please a man...

His muscles stiffened as he ground his jaw. She would do this with someone else, most likely because she was forced to. Someone else – a king or a prince – would be in Rowan's place and touch her like he had. He shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind, grabbed her face, and kissed her deeply, for a moment, forgetting that he must breathe.

She broke away from him, catching her breath and reaching for his cock again. She considered his face before licking up the shaft of his cock, around the head, and sucking the tip into her mouth. He was out of breath, his hands spasming. She was messy and clumsy, but he guessed she was too dazed to care if she was doing it wrong. She wasn't. She was perfect.

Delirious and aroused, he watched her take a little more, stopping when he hit the back of her throat, easing off and building up a rhythm. The way she held him in her mouth sent a wave of irrational jealousy through him. His hand moved to her hair and brushed it back as she bobbed up and down.

He left his hand on the back of her head and started thrusting gently, unable to stop himself. He couldn't look away from the way his cock disappeared in and out of her mouth. She put her hand on his thigh but didn't tell him to stop.

He was so close. When his stomach clenched and his thighs started to shake, he dragged her up to kiss her. She made a small, startled sound before kissing back, her hot tongue sliding over his. He moaned and kissed her harder.

In the next moment, he lay her on her back and hindered as he caught his breath, his eyes boring into her. Her heart-shaped lips parted, wet, full and sensual, the look in her eyes drowsy yet lustful, her breasts were full and round. This felt surreal. Almost like a dream. If this were a dream, he wished he'd never wake up and they'd never have to leave this room or each other.

He reached out and cupped one of her breasts. Her nipple hardened under his touch, and he couldn't help but duck down and take it in his mouth. The way she whispered his name made his cock throb with the need to come.

He thrust against her thigh and turned his attention to her other breast. He dragged his teeth lightly, enjoying the way her stomach trembled under his lips. He then spread her legs to find her wet and heavy with the scent of arousal. She released a startled gasp when he kissed her clit.

"Please," she murmured, her voice weak. "I need you."

He growled like a hungry wolf at her words and got his mouth fully on her cunt. Her legs sprung up in surprise, and he held them open like he'd done the first night they'd been together, draping one over his shoulder. It wasn't the first time he'd done this. He knew he was good at it, but he couldn't help but feel anxious. This might be the last time he got to make her feel good, so he didn't want her to regret anything.

He held her open with his fingers and gave long and slow licks that made her squirm beneath him. He sucked at her clit until she was gasping for air. She was slick and hot under his tongue; the taste of her made him grind his dick into the mattress. When her hand clenched handfuls of his hair and tugged him this way and that, he wasn't sure if she was aware of it, but he loved when she gained control. He moaned around her clit, feeling his cock growing harder than before, which he didn't think was possible.

He pulled back to suck two fingers into his mouth, and she mindlessly pulled at his hair to get his mouth back where it belonged. He smoothed a palm across her thigh to calm her as he thumbed over her clit before sliding two of his fingers back inside her.

"Ah," she cried out, spreading her legs more, the grip on his hair staggering.

Rowan smirked up at her in pride. He couldn't help the selfish thought of making her feel so good she could never feel the same with another man. He shook off that thought immediately, not wanting to imagine her breathless, naked, and spread open for someone else other than him.

He decided to overlook his worries and focus on her. He drew his fingers in and out while kissing her hip, her thigh, her stomach. It only took a few more soft laps of his tongue when he got his mouth back on her for her to come.

She was blushing and breathing heavily when he crawled back up and captured her lips with his own. She moaned into his mouth at her own taste.

"Was that okay?" he asked quietly.

She huffed, nodding fast. "That was...perfect."

Rowan kissed her warm cheek, grinning. His entire body was burning at this point. The fever of desire made his head spin while his cock ached and twitched against her thigh. He hovered above her between her parted legs, propping himself up, an elbow on either side of her head. He reached between them, and his jaw dropped as he bumped his cock and dragged it on her soft inner thigh before nudging the tip against her cunt. They both made a sound at it.

"Please. Want you," she said, running her hands up and down his arms. Her eyes pinched closed, her head thrown back.

Rowan pushed her thighs further apart and took himself in his hand, angling his cock to press the head into her cunt, pushing in with steady pressure. They both moaned. He dropped his head to her shoulder, elbows locking from the effort of not collapsing. He would bang his head against the wall if he crashed onto her wounded body and hurt her in any way.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, his voice strained as he tried to control himself. She was tight, so goddamn tight. She'd never done this before, so he tried to be as careful and slow as he could. He waited for her to shake her head, and when she told him to go on, he pushed deeper, slow and steady.

"Rowan," she moaned, shuddering. He was all the way inside of her. He felt embarrassed as his hips stuttered with stops and starts. He tried not to come too soon, while glancing between them every second to make sure he wasn't rubbing against her wound. He heard a frustrated groan, and she pushed at his chest. He whined when he slipped out completely.

Frightened, he thought he'd hurt her and she didn't want to do this anymore, but she pushed him all the way down. He hit the mattress hard on his back and blinked up at her climbing on top, throwing one leg over his.

"What are you–"

She shushed him. Her black hair fell long and messy down her chest, not quite covering her breasts. He continued to stare.

When he saw her struggling to get him back inside, a chuckle rumbled in his throat as he gripped her waist to help her balance. She reached behind herself, taking hold of his cock and guiding it to where she wanted it. He wetted his lips, his throat completely dry.

They both groaned when she slid down and braced both hands on his chest for support. He helped her rock her hips until she huffed, hair tossed back. She then started rolling her hips the way she liked it, putting her whole body into it. His jaw went slack as he made an embarrassing noise, clutching her right hip, his other hand squeezing one of her breasts, teasing her nipple.

He was already this close to coming, but he needed to make sure she came, too. He brushed her hair out of her pretty face, his feet flattened on the bed as he pushed up when she rocked down. Her insides sucked him in tightly; he felt an explosion coming. He couldn't hold it much longer, so he took the hand from her hip to thumb over her clit, rubbing it in a firm steady motion until she was choking on air, hips faltering, cunt clenching around his cock.

When he felt himself getting close, he tried to lift her off of him, but her body didn't comply. She sat fully on his cock. He pushed himself up, an arm around her waist, his chest against hers, their foreheads together.

"Inside, Rowan, p-please," she whimpered before pushing her tongue into his mouth, and his cock pulsed as he spilt into her, shuddering with her.

It wasn't after he'd recovered from his fever and opened his eyes that he realised what he'd allowed to happen. She covered his mouth before he could say a word, her eyelids drooping as she steadied her breathing.

"I'm pathetically in love with you, too."

He felt tears forming in the wells of his eyes, and he tugged her in and kissed her again, and again, and again...

Moments later, stillness had taken over. Rowan was lying on his side, head propped up on his hand as he rubbed circles on her belly. She was lying on her back, lazy dark eyes peering at his face.

"What if I've impregnated you?"

"Does it matter?" she whispered while tracing his features with her fingertips.

"It does to me," he said. "You'd have my daughter."

She arched an eyebrow at him.

"What?" he chuckled.

"You said daughter," she said and bit back a smile.

"Or son."

Her smile widened but didn't last too long before worry overtook her face. She grasped his hand and brought it to her cheek.

"I won't ever marry or fall in love again," she said.

His stomach twisted into double knots. "You will, Peach." He hated to say that, but he knew for a fact that she would fall in love or at least marry someone else. "You'll marry a prince, or even better, a king."

"How is that better?"

"A king, Peach." He raised a brow. "And knowing you, if you succeed, and become Queen, you'll marry someone who worships you, someone who would live and die for you."

And if she carried Rowan's child because of what they'd done tonight, that child would belong to that king, who could give it the life Rowan could never offer. That child would never know Rowan existed. Reyna would never talk about Rowan for the baby's own sake. Rowan would want that, too. Even when it was killing him just thinking about it.

"Would you?" Her voice pulled him back.

He dropped his gaze to her mouth for a second before glancing back up to her twinkling eyes. They crinkled as she smiled.

"Would I what?"

"Live and die for me," she said, her tone teasing yet anticipative.

"In a heartbeat," he answered without a second thought.

"Good," she sounded content. "Don't love me less than that."

Before he could come up with a proper response, she'd already drifted off.

.

.

.

Reyna woke up just before dawn. It wasn't easy to sleep when all that you saw when you closed your eyes was dying people. Except that this time Rowan was there with her. He'd held her close as she'd broken down in front of her uncle's body. A headless corpse. She didn't know if he'd been decapitated and she prayed it wasn't true, but that was the worst image her mind could come up with.

When she was little, she'd been forced to watch a public execution. The prisoner had smiled before they'd chopped his head off in front of the people. For him, death had been an escape, not a punishment.

Reyna had considered death, too. She'd almost executed the thought, but then it hit her that she wasn't that prisoner – death wouldn't be an escape for her. If she died, she'd die as someone who'd not only betrayed her kingdom but also murdered her uncle. If they wanted to accuse her of the crimes she hadn't committed, they would have to say it to her face.

She and Rowan had travelled through the night. He had insisted on taking her to the castle just in case something bad happened along the way. She believed he just wanted to buy some more time with her, which was also the reason she'd let him come. She wasn't brave enough to say goodbye so soon.

They rode fast, and the roads through towns were empty at early hours, so they managed to reach the castle at sunset. Since they couldn't be seen together, they stopped on the hill outside the castle grounds where they bid their final goodbyes.

The sunset fell on the castle walls, painting the cold grey of stone golden. The sky was a canopy of gold. Standing in the knee-length grasses, Rowan and Reyna clutched each other like it was the end of the world. She could hear his heart beating in her ears and his hot breath in her hair. The summer heat penetrated their skin, the air warm and dry, but Reyna felt cold in her bones.

She pulled away to see his face, which was basking in sunset colours. The green in his eyes was a shade darker. A tender breeze blew through his hair, carrying the scent of flowers and dewy grass, wafting it all around them. She tucked his long locks behind his ears as she observed every movement on his handsome face. He had to be the most beautiful man in the world.

"I fell in love with you at sunset," he said.

She blinked and smiled, a tiny bit confused.

"When we first watched the sunset together on the mountain." He inclined his head, his eyebrows lifted as he peered at her intensely. "That was when I think I fell in love with you."

The hollowness inside her chest threatened to engulf her at once. She pressed her lips together, her tears forming again. "This is our last sunset together," she mumbled, trying to laugh but what came out was a depressing sigh.

His jaw clenched as he contemplated her. "When this is all over," she guessed he meant everything else, not them, "Can I still see you sometimes?"

It made her somewhat happy that he believed this would end with her victory. She placed her hands on his shoulders as her lips curved slightly. "I don't think that's possible."

She had to be practical and not give him false hope. She knew what it was like to believe in a happy ending that never existed.

When the corners of his mouth lowered, she wanted nothing more than to kiss that frown away, but she resisted. "Besides," she went on. "You can't love me more than you do now. All I ask of you is to not love me less..."

"I love you more every moment, every day."

She shook her head, dismissing the idea. "Not after we've said goodbye. You'll forget about me. You'll love another woman. If you could get over your first love and fall in love again, you will fall in love again after me." She worked her jaw, trying to look for the right words. "You're the first man I've ever loved. And if...if the prophecy is true, and...I become Queen–" It was the first time she'd dared to say that out loud "–then I'll marry for the sake of my kingdom. It won't be for love. Royalties don't marry for love."

"Your parents did."

"They met by the river, Rowan. They didn't know they were a prince and a princess. They were just a boy and a girl." She bit her lower lip, looking up at him through her wet lashes. "They were the lucky ones."

She felt like he had a lot more to say and could have a whole debate with her right here, but he chose to remain silent. She was thankful for that.

"Here." She pulled the gold ring off her finger and put it on his hand before he could refuse to accept. "Find a good doctor for your mother. Quit stealing and do something that wouldn't get you in trouble. I don't want you to get arrested again and be rescued by some other lady."

A corner of his mouth rose as he gazed at the ring. "No lady is like you, Princess."

Something about that statement gave her a little hope. If no lady was like her, she could remain a special part inside of him, even after he'd fallen in love with another woman.

She stepped away, clasped her hands behind her back, and lifted her chin as she commanded, "Now look away."

"Are you about to change right here?" he joked, yet didn't sound like his old playful self.

She flashed him a beam. "Just do it."

He didn't argue and spun around, hands clasped behind his back.

She fought back tears as she reached for his fingers, which held onto hers as soon as he felt her touch.

"You're not allowed to watch me leave," she said matter-of-factly as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Don't turn around until you hear the gate close." I won't be able to leave if you're watching.

He gave a nod, so she slipped her hand away. He didn't try to keep it this time. He had accepted that this was the end for them. She walked backwards to her horse and mumbled a silent goodbye to Lightning before she mounted Thunder. Giving one last look at Rowan, whose back was still turned to her, she kicked the horse into a gallop.

As Thunder carried her across the field, her hair flying in the wind, she almost looked back to see if Rowan had turned around.