THE BIG QUESTION 1

"I didn't know this would happen!" I plead yet again, tears streaming down my face. "I tried to keep him safe.

"Sure you did.” The sarcasm in that “Your past caught up with you, and my son paid the price! He is paying the price for you." Mrs. Azzua's voice cracks with anguish. "You should be the one missing, not my son! You should be the one going through what Deep is going through, Gia."

I hunch my face down, nursing the beardown of the weight of Mrs. Azzua's words crushing my spirit. Will she ever understand me or forgive me? In a way, I understand where she is coming from as a mother. I can understand her fears, worries, pressure to find her son, and the frustrations of not knowing where he is and how he is doing. I can understand all that. But can’t she understand that I would have never wanted this cursed monster to come back to life? I mean, come on! Why would I have wanted this? "I understand your worries, and I accept the blame. If I knew this is how things would turn out, believe me, in as much as it hurts, I would not have gotten your son involved.” I tried justifying myself, but I ended up aggregating her more.

“Your sorry is useless at this point. Unless it helps bring my son back, and you and I know that it cannot,. If anything bad happens to my son, Gia, you will...

“That will never happen.” I cut her off. “Nothing bad will happen to Deep! He is safe, and he will remain safe until I find him."

"Oooh, I so hope. I hold on to that hope since that is all that I have, Gia. But still, that will not blur the fact that he is in danger right now because of you. You, Gia!” She speaks softly with so much wrath. It is like she wasn't trying to choke me with guilt, and she is winning. The weight of her words is weighing so heavily on me. The anger I am seeing in her eyes makes me doubt the future of her becoming my mother-in-law. My heart is bleeding.

“I will never grow tired of apologizing. And neither will I stop telling you that I would give anything to be in Deep’s place right now and for him to be free because, more than anyone, I know that he does not deserve any of what is happening to him. I did that before when I took myself to Ejay, and I can do it over and over again and again. I wouldn’t do anything that would put your son at risk.” I explain, scouring away the tears.

Enough with the crying now. I have had enough of it. It is not like my tears are even softening this woman’s heart. Someday, when all this is over and this anger she is feeling towards me right now has subsided, maybe she will understand me.

"And yet, here we are." She shoots back, her voice filled with bitter resentment. "Deep is missing because of your past. Because of you! That will never change because I will not forget this fear I am feeling for my son’s safety, Gia. The fear that you have brought upon us."

The accusation hung heavy in the air, suffocating me with guilt and sorrow. I feel a surge of impotence, unable to alleviate her anger and pain or make her understand my side of the story.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice barely audible amidst the storm of emotions. "I'll do anything to find him."

Mrs. Azzua’s expression softens, a glimmer of desperation mingling with her anger. She looks so pale amidst her cold demeanor from all that yelling. "You better. Because if anything happens to my son, I don't know what I will do to you.”

I nod, my heart heavy with the weight of Mrs. Azzua's words. A heavy load of responsibility crushes me, knowing that I need to find Deep to make amends, not only for myself, not only for the matters of my heart, but for Deep's distraught family.

The silence that follows is suffocating, each passing second stretching into an eternity. My sister and I just stand here, feeling the weight of Mrs. Azzua's blame like a crushing weight on our shoulders while pondering what her husband is mulling over in his lost, engrossed state. He has been silent for a long time. I was just staring into space. The beardown on the unknown whereabouts and current state of his son must have slapped him so hard.

"I will find him." I promise again that my voice will remain firm despite the tremor of fear. "I won't rest until he's back."

Mrs. Azzua looks at me with a combo of anguish and skepticism in her eyes. "My son is all that I have. For him, you can reap a curse or a blessing from me, and trust me, Gia Wilsons, you don’t want to know where you stand at this moment. You better find my son soon and bring him back safe and sound. Without even a scratch!”

At this point, my mouth runs dry and my heart is pregnant with pressing desires to find Deep, bring him back home, and mend the shattered trust that now lies in ruins.

“I need to contact a few people. I need to try and help in the search for my son.” Mr. Azzua spoke after decades.

His son?

Which one, exactly? Is it deep to bring him back? Or the monster, to hand him over to the authorities?

“I am so sorry to bring this up, Mr. and Mrs. Azzua, but I need to ask you something before we do anything.” I speak once again.

They both bank their eyes at me; his wife is still seething with rage. “Go ahead. What do you want to ask?” Mr. Azzua speaks.

“Doesn’t any of you know Ejay? Doesn’t he seem or sound familiar?” I shoot.

“And what in hell do we have to do with your tormentor? Do we look like we have any connection with sucky evil and cursed breeds?”

Goodness! I hope she does not faint or eat her own words afterward. “Why do you suppose that we know this man?” Mr. Azzua asks obliviously.

They have no idea. This will be a huge blow, but since we have gotten to this point, I guess I just have to spill the beans.

“Because he has the Azzua blood running in his veins!”

Shock slaps for a moment. Instead of looking at each other, their gazes remain fixed on me as if I were speaking in tongues. I bet that alone is enough of a shock.