THE DEFENSIVE MOTHER

Mr. Azzua’s head went through a moment of blankness for a sprinting moment, his eyes looking around his partner, sending a confusing memo. He then spoke. “What do you mean, insensitive? I just asked whether Ejay is with you right now. Where is he? I need to know.”

Hellen looked up, pain cutting through her heart. “He went to jail, in case you did not know. And before you ask, I don’t know which jail they locked him in because I had no way of finding out. I see that you are keeping tabs on him, so why didn’t you get news, or did you just plan to mock me this way, Azzua?” Hellen asked, feeling offended. Even though she never had a good relationship with her son, as a mother, it was still a big loss that she was still mourning over. Her son, her only child, was thrown in jail for life.

“No, Hellen. It is you who are playing games with me, and I don’t like it. That lie about Ejay being locked up is out already. We all know he is roaming free! Where is your son?” Mr. Azua asked again, refusing to believe that Hellen did not know the whereabouts of her son.

Hellen paused, trying to digest what the man said. She was still regretting that she did not raise her son well. Her son always felt a sense of longing and emptiness that others could not fill. That was why, after endless questions to his mother about his origin that did not bear him any fruit, he chose his own path in the search for his missing pieces. Too bad that his thirst to find answers led him to the wrong path that ruined his life.

Now, with the new discovery that her son could be out, Hellen felt enthralled. She did not like what he had turned into, yes, and that went without a doubt, but the pain that she had gone through raising him while his father was enjoying life with another woman had not left her heart. The pain of how Mr. Azzua spit her out, claiming that he did not want to ruin the beautiful life he had with his lovely girlfriend, was still so fresh. That would be still fresh, bleeding in her heart.

At least her son had the courage to say that she did not have to fight for her rights. His ways were wrong, without a doubt, but the bottom line was that he was fighting.

She balanced her shoulders, filled with renewed hope. At least she was no longer the only saul. Her son was still alive. She had someone in her life. “I see that you are even ahead with news, unlike me. So what about him? How do you even know about him? What do you even care about him, huh? I thought he didn’t matter to you. Why does it seem like you are now trolling him? Mr Azzua?"

"I always cared about him, which is why I have been sending his upkeep money from day one up until now. What I did not know was that you chose to raise a monster instead of someone of descent that you can be proud of, Hellen! How could you raise your child that way?" Mr. Azzua began, his voice grave, his eyes burning with rage and hate.

“The nerve of you to call me after all these years to just reprimand me about how I raised my own son, huh! Aren’t you ashamed? Where in the devil’s name were you to help me bring him up with your dignified pathetic morals, huh?” The woman chimed, screeching from the bottom of her lungs.

Mr. Azzua’s anger rose high, but he kept a cool face, his hands clenching into tight feasts. “Own up to your failures, Hellen, and don’t you dare blame this on me. I…”

“Yes, I know!” She cut him off with deep anger. “It is indeed my fucking fault. It has always been that way, even back then. I was, and still am, the villain in your so perfect and spotless life, right?” The woman spoke with immeasurable pain and bitterness. The series of distant events that took place before, up to the last one when they went their separate ways, played in her head with luculent, fresh-cut, and tormenting memories like they had happened just the previous day. The pain was still stinging her like hell.

Mr. Azzua sensed the rising tension. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. It was not time to argue. He did not want to get the seemingly bitter woman angry before he got what he wanted. “I am not here to bring about the past. I just want to know why your son turned rogue! Why is he hunting me and my family down like we are some kind of prey that he needs to tame?" He asked

A low, bitter chuckle echoed through Mr. Azzua’s ears from Hellen’s side. He curved his brows, forming deep curves above his eyes as wonderments of what was amusing in his statement that made the woman chuckle as she lounged in his head. “My son, huh! How convenient that he is now only my son because his ways are not pleasing to you, huh? Who fathered him, huh? Was it not you?” Hellen fired with flaming choler, the reminder of her failed parenting roles summoning her to her trembling, weak feet.

Mr. Azzua slammed the table, anger shifting him to his seat. “Don’t you dare give me that crap, Hellen! Just what does your son want, huh? What does he want with us?”

“You should be the one telling me that, Mr. Azzua, for I do not know what you are talking about. I know nothing about my son’s involvement with you. All I knew up to the moment before this call was that my son was locked up behind bars. So can you calm down and explain yourself to me? What are you talking about?” Hellen asked.