No future for them

Thandi went to her village to spend the rest of her leave with her family. Her Mother was complaining everyday about how late she wakes up and her excuse was that she was on leave and needed her rest. When she woke up on the fourth day, she found S’bu in her living room chatting with her grandma. In the past, she would have been shocked to find S’bu in her home unannounced but now she expected anything from him. He visited her family more often than she did and her Mother never missed the opportunity to remind her of that.

“Good morning Grandma and S’bu” Thandi greeted them.

“Morning dear” her grandma responded.

“MaDlamini” S’bu greeted her lovingly. “Ma was right, you wake up too late when you are home” S’bu said with exaggerated expression.

Thandi was dumbfounded, her Mother actually reported her to S’bu for waking up late. Granny and S’bu continued with their conversation ignoring Thandi who now felt like an outsider. She was about to leave when her Mother walked in with a tray of coffee and scones for S’bu.

“Thank you Ma, I have been to the most expensive restaurants around but none of them make scones like you” S’bu said charmingly.

“Thandi, you have no idea how lucky you are to have such a good man but you are not taking very good care of him. He has been here for an hour and you are only waking up now! At this rate, you will loose him” her Mother scolded.

Thandi rolled her eyes, she was getting used to her family fussing over S’bu and he enjoyed every bit of it. Her Father was a drunkard and abusive but her Mother never left him because she believed that marriage was for ever and a good wife stays and prays for her husband when he is bad. To her Mother, S’bu was a saint who could do no wrong. She even believed that S’bu pampered Thandi too much. S’bu asked to speak to her before leaving.

“Besides getting me in trouble, was there a reason for you to come here?” Thandi asked when they were alone.

“I came to visit your Mother and Granny, is that a sin?” he asked amused. “Aren’t you happy to see me? Don’t you know how lucky you are to have me?” he teased repeating her Mother’s words.

“Goodbye S’bu” Thandi said walking away from him annoyed.

He quickly pulled her back and held her in his arms. “I came because I miss you” he whispered in her ear, making her blush and her heart race. She took a deep breath and inhaled his intoxicating cologne. “I miss you too” she admitted.

“Don’t stay away too long then” he said kissing her passionately before leaving.

Thandi’s leave was over and she went back to the city. That evening when they were having dinner, S’bu asked her to marry him. She had completed her studies, didn’t have to save for a car because JC provided one for her and her family did not need anything from her. She realised that she had no excuse anymore and has to tell him the truth.

“I love you, I really do and I don’t doubt your love” she said.

“But?” S’bu asked a chilling feeling going down his spine.

“I don’t want to be in a polygamous marriage” she said dropping her head.

“What are you talking about?” S’bu asked confused.

“I’m not able to satisfy you and I’m still young, it will only get worse when we get old and I’m not as energetic” she confessed what she’s worried about over the years with him.

“Why do you think you are not able to satisfy me?” S’bu asked pulling her to his arms.

“If I did, you would not have to flirt and hook up with other women” she said and was relieved that she finally said it out loud.

“Baby, no! That was all on me, it had nothing with you or your capability to satisfy me” S’bu reassured her tenderly. He had no idea that Thandi felt like this and could not help but feel guilty.

“You don’t have to say that for my benefit, I have accepted the situation and I’m coming to terms with that we are unlikely to be married” she said calmly.

“Thandi, you can’t be serious. You can’t make a decision about our future based on women that meant nothing to me, especially when you gave me the permission to continue to hook up with them” he said, feeling like walls were closing in on him.

“We had just started dating when you asked for my permission. I thought and hoped that as we grew together you would not find the need for them but I was wrong. Besides, if I refused to give you my permission, would you have stopped or would you have done it behind my back?” she asked with unusually calm expression.

“All this time you didn’t think we have a future together?” S’bu asked, his heart sinking. All the reasons Thandi gave before for not marrying him were excuses. Excuses he spent a lot of time and money trying to overcome in order to make her his wife, but all of that was for nothing.

“I’m sorry S’bu, but I can’t stand before my family and God and vow for till dead do us apart when I doubt that you can be in a completely monogamous marriage” Thandi said tearful.

“Then I don’t see a reason for us to be together” S’bu said turning his back on her walking to his room.

Thandi’s whole body shook and her step was unsteady as she walked to the door, leaving S’bu’s house with a broken heart.

Thandi sat down in her flat, sobbing. Everywhere she looked were memories of her and S’bu. His toiletries were in her bathroom, some of his clothes were in her locker and she could smell his scent on her pillow. The reason she would not marry him was not something she was willing to compromise on. She knew that she was going to have a hard time explaining herself to her family and friends. They all thought so highly of S’bu and praised him for the way he pampered her. She was aware that to most people, her reason will sound unreasonable and ungrateful.

In S,bu,s house Menzi was trying his best to console his brother “I understand that you are hurt but you need to slow down. You drank too much already” Menzi urged his brother.

“What’s the use?” S’bu asked opening another pack of alcohol.

“You two always kiss and make up” Menzi said trying to his best to console his brother.

“Not this time, she does not think we have a future” S’bu said discouraged and drinking more until he passed out on the sofa.