Chapter 36

Chapter 36

I pushed myself into him and ran my hands through his hair, pushing harder at the ends. His lips hardened, leaving an imprint he would be pleased to have on my skin. His head sank further and farther, his touch pointing to where his mouth desired to be. My heart stumbled as I felt his teeth brush against my pants, bringing me sharply back to the present moment and what we were actually doing.

I gasped, "Stop," and his movements immediately stopped.

He rested his head against my tummy, and we both started breathing heavily. I could feel the wreckage inside of me pressing against my ribs, and the feelings we shared felt like a freight train.

Derrick needed not to say anything, so he remained silent.

I could feel him; I felt the pressure of everything going through his system—constant anguish filled with insecurities and helplessness.

This man governed a species and oversaw a generation of wolves that would one day be recorded in history books. He was composed of royal blood and unquestionable authority. However, his titles meant nothing to him when he was alone like this. He wasn't a king or an alpha when he was by himself; instead, he was just a lonely, depressed man, and I understood precisely how that felt. The fact that I had spent the majority of my life alone and was depressed seemed to be the common thread tying me and him together.

When I ran my fingers through his hair, he shook at the sensation.

"I can feel you—I can feel your anger and your worries; it's not your fault." I made an effort to reassure and console him.

He was afraid for his people's safety as well as the safety of his pack, but he was unaware that the person consoling him was actually his enemy.

"Kylie, it was me who sent him on that patrol. Given that I was the one who put him to death, how can it not be my fault?" I was at a loss for how to handle the grief in his comments, both old and fresh.

When he glanced at me, I felt like something had erupted in my chest. I had lowered my body to the floor in front of him and was sliding my hands toward his face. My companion stared at me as though I were his entire universe, despite the fact that the guilt, the fear, and the yearning were all just one giant mess inside of me. I savored it for a while, moving closer to him and brushing my fingers against his jaw.

"You couldn't have known." He shook his head at my attempts to soothe him, averting his eyes from mine.

"Knowing is my duty. Even if I weren't their alpha, it would still be my responsibility to defend them as their king. I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing, and every wolf is vital." I detested how tortured he appeared to be. He wouldn't have listened to me in this situation, even if I could have shown him conclusively that this wasn't his fault. He was sulking and paying no attention to what I was saying.

Derrick, you're a good alpha. A decent king and a good alpha. This time, his gaze rose with a sharpness that made me nervous. He scowled at me, his nostrils flaring, as he retreated from my contact, clearly not liking what I'd said. My hands began to shake, and my heart fell.

"And how would you know that when you take every opportunity to leave me?" I gave a noticeable wince. He was correct to feel hurt. I was the worst partner ever, and there was nothing I could do to change that; therefore, I deserved his insults and his wrath.

But after all that had transpired, I couldn't afford to take his comments at face value. Not when I knew that, with my mother after me, the safest place for me was right next to him. I needed him more than I had ever needed him before.

I was broken and afraid, and I didn't want to be by myself.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" His fury was still visible as he narrowed his eyes at me, and for a split second, I feared he was going to reject me.

"If you're expressing this out of sympathy—" "No," I said, my pulse pounding in my chest as I looked away from him. "I care about you; I meant what I said before, but do you really think I could leave you tonight after what happened today? When Gabriel showed up to the bakery, I assumed the worst, and I still feel the fear that you—" I took a tremulous breath. "I want to stay with you tonight, not out of pity but because you make me feel safe, and you are the only person that can protect me." He clung to what I said, the anger fading as fast as it had appeared.

Even though I had made my intentions clear to him, there remained a tense stillness while he looked at my face. To make sure I understood the promise in his words, he raised his hand to my chin once more.

"Kylie, no rogue will ever come anywhere close to you. On that, you have my word." He stated it honestly, and if I had been genuinely terrified of the rogue and was attempting to save my life, I would have been grateful for it.

I gazed up at him as he got up from the couch, his hand still resting on my chin. With a low growl, he relinquished his hold on my face, causing my heart to sink from the awkward position we were in. I felt my heart skip a beat as I gave in to his more primitive desires. There was no hiding his bulge, and he seemed to be proud of it. My cheeks turned a fiery scarlet as he cleared his throat. I looked back at him, and his lips thinned before he extended his hand for me to take.

I instantly grabbed onto his hand as he assisted me in getting to my feet since I knew that lingering on my knees in front of him like this would not be beneficial.

"You will come to bed with me." With a start, I shook my head and remained where I was while he walked over to the door.

Getting into bed with this man was the one thing I should not do at this moment.

"Not your bed; I want to stay with you here." He scowled, unable to discern the source of my anxiety. The three-seater couch he had been sitting on caught his attention as he turned to the side. With its velvet upholstery, it seemed sufficiently comfortable, and I hadn't seen any issues with it yet.

"This couch is a lot smaller than my bed." He scowled as he met my eyes once again, studying me and doing everything he could to decipher what was going through my mind.

"And your bed holds a lot more meaning than this couch." He muttered something under his breath, obviously not agreeing with my point of view.

"Fine," With a shrug, he conceded far more readily than I had anticipated. Instead of moving back toward the couch as I had anticipated, he walked away from it, putting some space between us.

He abruptly undid his shirt by pulling it out of his pants, went for his belt, and unzipped his pants, making me squeal. Not that I hadn't seen him like that before, but it hadn't been deliberate previous times, so I attempted to calm myself down.