Chapter 43

Chapter 43

It was entirely my fault that the dress didn't feel as nice as it appeared.

The green silk adhered to my contours and flowed down my body, creating the ideal formal appearance that was ideal for everything but the things I had planned.

It was just an ordinary piece of fabric that was tailored to perfection, highlighting every area of my body that I shouldn't have felt the need to show him. I didn't want to be the object of his attention in this way, not when our feelings for one another were perilously close to the edge. Most of all, I didn't want to feel his yearning to touch me signed in the air we breathed—that burning, stifling feeling he usually gave me whenever I was near him. I didn't want his eyes to feel like fire as they ran down my body.

But the toxic need to please him kept me from ripping it from my flesh as I stared at my body in the mirror, wrapped like a death wish in satin.

I should never have gone into Vera's room in the first place because I knew she had prettier clothes and I had made a more subdued outfit choice.

Although the outfits I had thrown across my bed were safe options, their insufficiency left me with a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach. Vera's closet was a jumbled mess, but as soon as I laid eyes on the green silk, I couldn't help but feel the need to wear it.

The hue made me think of the iridescent hue of his captivating eyes, which glistened in the sunlight and darkened in the shade. I wish I could have just settled for something that was mine instead of letting it catch my eye, but I felt that this dress was meant for him and that wearing it would just tempt fate.

I could feel the phantom noose tightening around my neck the more I stared at myself in the mirror, but this time, it was me, not Derrick, who was holding it.

Perhaps giving in to the mate link and allowing the threads of our union to become ingrained in my skin was exactly what I wanted after all. Perhaps this garment was the only thing I could think of to really commit to him.

My hands trembled as I inserted the studs into my ears, the tiny diamonds hardly perceptible against my golden complexion. These were my only jewelry pieces, and I was reminded of the day Vera had given them to me, when we were both still very young and clinging to our innocent vows to escape together from all the evil that seemed to follow us. I was afraid because the more I looked in the mirror, the less I could recognize myself, even though the recollection was a frantic attempt to find my ground.

Something inside of me had been stirring ever since I had set foot on his turf. It was one thing to have my magic back, but this was a heavy emotion that was seeping through me, a certainty that was igniting my blood vessels one by one. I had the distinct impression that I was meant to be here.

Finding a place in the world after hiding for so long should have been reassuring, but instead I felt exposed and vulnerable.

Vera was everything to me, and I loved her, but during our ten years together, all I had been doing was going through the motions, modeling the kind of life she desired, and giving her complete control over all of our decisions. Everything had changed, but the only thing I knew I wanted was to never see my mother again.

I wanted my mate, even if Derrick undoubtedly thought I was incapable of submitting to the mate connection, and though it would mean giving up all else in order to achieve that, I couldn't find the courage to tell Derrick the truth since everything was so hard, but he was the one thing that made me feel like my life was worth living.

My time with him was running out, and I could feel the spark inside of me pulsating with a craving for anything. Being unable to get him felt like a last-ditch effort, a final stand, as though this was the last place I would ever be.

This clothing was not at all aiding the discomfort and paranoia that felt like second nature. Even though I knew I was alone, I still felt like I was being watched. I was alone in my brokenness, and that wasn't going to change; in fact, it was probably going to grow worse.

I trembled as my phone began to ring, the sound filling the void and taking the place of my harmful thoughts.

I took a deep breath and accepted Vera's video call as her name appeared on the screen. My breakdowns usually seemed to coincide with her schedule, but I didn't have to worry about me unraveling because she didn't need to know.

"I told you I'd be fine." I gazed down through the screen at her and moaned.

She had insisted on closing early so she could help me choose the ideal dress for Derrick's date, but she was still at the store. My clothing choices didn't completely persuade her because I've always valued functionality over fashion. It wasn't that I didn't like attractive clothing; I simply didn't like the attention I would get when I wore it.

"I'll be the judge of that." Her gasp was immediate as I moved the camera to face the mirror, and she announced.

Although I didn't require anyone's approval for my appearance previously, it made me feel good to know that Vera didn't think I looked bad. How on earth was I going to stand in front of him without turning into a puddle if her reply made me feel all fuzzy inside?

"I think I should call him and cancel." I barely had time to think before I spoke, and I winced, bracing myself for Vera's inevitable barrage of criticism.

"Fuck, Kylie—you look hot, even hotter than hot, so why in the hell wouldn't you want him to see you like this?" My timidity irritated her, but it didn't stop her from making me feel excited. "For once, you actually look like his fucking queen." The regal title she had given me struck me like a blow to the stomach, causing my breath to catch in my throat.

Even though I was aware that my mate was the alpha king, which meant that I was his queen by default, it hadn't completely registered in my mind until she said it.

A flame ignited in my chest as I felt the urge to use that title once more. I had made a conscious effort to deny that Derrick had referred to me as his queen, so it hadn't felt like this at all. Even if that was what had previously been predestined, I couldn't be his queen, but the title certainly fit like a puzzle piece fitting into place after years of searching.

I realized how lost and bewildered I really was when I heard the word, even though I was supposed to be a queen—his queen.

I ignored the emotion and shoved it into a corner of my subconscious. Trying to figure out what that emotion was would probably throw me over the brink, and I already had too much on my plate. Once more, I glanced in the mirror in front of me.

"He's not going to be able to keep his hands off me." I heard her scoff as my words faltered.

"Isn't that the point? I'd be surprised if that dress doesn't end up on his bedroom floor by the end of the night."

Not what I wanted, nor the point, but I also couldn't hold the garment responsible for it.

The more time it took us to establish the mate link, the more demanding it became, and no matter how lovely or flawless, a thin piece of material couldn't quell a wolf's instinctive drive to claim its partner.

This was a mess, and I was just making it worse, but the apartment erupted with the sound of the doorbell before I could compose a response for Vera.

My heart fell, I lost all sense of time trying to make sense of the insanity happening inside of me, and I gave Vera a wide-eyed look via the phone.

I didn't have time to change the clothing, even if I wanted to.

"Wear those strappy black heels you have, and don't forget to have fun." Before hanging up the phone, she offered me one final piece of advice.

Enjoy yourself? Having fun was out of the question when my body felt like it was about to explode. My heart was pounding before I'd even laid eyes on him. This had been a horrible plan from the beginning, and now I had to figure out how to keep my wolf's wildness and my magic's misplacement in check without getting into any more trouble.

I was aware that caution was necessary, yet everything I was doing seemed to contradict that.

Even before she had mentioned them, I had taken up the heels and twisted them around my legs; you could see how they wrapped around my calves through the opening in my dress. Nerves were tingling through my entire body as I struggled to muster the strength to open the door.

All Derrick wanted was to go on a date with me. He had shown me that he wasn't going to do anything to me that I wasn't ready for. I took a deep breath, yanked open the door, and froze when my eyes met with my partner. There was nothing to be afraid of.

Derrick was not the man I was expecting; rather, it was an unknown person.

"Oh, fuck—you're gorgeous." The man in front of me stammered, and I felt my cheeks getting stained with flush. His palm curled over the edge of the door, and his eyes widened slightly at my reaction. "Shit, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud." He stammered some more while I examined him. What was this man doing here? He was a person, clothed simply in pants and a t-shirt with an unclear motto on it.

I was staring at him with my pulse pounding in my chest. I could feel a chilly, overwhelming jitteriness in my bones. When Derrick arrived, I knew that this date would not go well, and my clothing would be the least of my worries. If I couldn't get rid of this man before he arrived, this evening would start badly.

My wolf was way too antsy to do anything constructive as she stared at the strange male as I turned my head to follow Derrick's smell down the corridor. She wasn't as fond of him being here as I was, and she didn't appreciate the way his eyes were fixed on the front of my dress.

"I'm on my way to something, do you? I'm Felix, and I live in the apartment next to you. I've been meaning to say hello since I saw you move in at the beginning of the week." He skillfully interrupted me, attempting to strike up a discussion when all I could muster was a few sharp exchanges of words. Once more, he cast a scathing glance at me.

Although he was slightly taller than me, he was still merely human, but I was partially wolf and partially human.

I paused as I raised my hand to shake his hand as he extended it for me. This man seemed to be hunting for any excuse to continue talking to me, and all I wanted was for him to stop.

"Hi, my name is Kylie. I should really get going, but it's lovely to meet you. Someone is waiting for me. I turned back to face him and closed the door to my flat.

How had he gotten so close? He was too close.

I moved to the side in the hopes that he would maintain my distance, but he followed, and my nerves began to fray.

I glanced down the corridor, knowing that Derrick would soon reveal himself and that I needed to get this man away from me. Presenting this garment to my partner was one thing, but the scent of another man on me may potentially drive his wolf further away. I just wasn't going to take the chance after our altercation at the bakery.

I was not going to let this one more chance pass me by.

I turned pale as Felix's hand flew out to the wall next to me. I sensed my wolf's threat, and my own control was waning. He had befriended me and presented himself as innocent at first, but now he was cornering me. I squinted at him, my wolf's ferocious fury building within me. She wanted to punch me, but I had to hold back on this introduction as much as possible.

"Where are you going dressed up all pretty like this?" I winced as his finger went to encircle a curl in my hair.

The way I had squeezed myself against the wall and the courteous smile I had put on for him appeared to make his eyes sparkle, and it made me wonder whether his friendly greeting was really a ruse from the start.

"Please do not touch me," I said, clenching my fingers into fists by my sides.

"Dressed like that, it looks like you want to be touched." In a few succinct sentences, he revealed his intentions, and his sharp, alert eyes lit up as he waited for me to calm down.

Now that my wolf's violence was whirling inside of me, she was waiting for my approval to let her pull him out. My fingers had reached out as I rolled them into my hands; they were so ready to slit his throat that it was almost addictive.

He continued rambling through his own toxic thoughts after realizing that I wouldn't say anything. He was obviously trying to obtain what he wanted from me, but with guys like him, they always want it to look like we initiated the relationship.

Sadly, he wasn't going to get the results he was hoping for.

"That someone you have waiting for you, is he your boyfriend?"

I felt him before I saw him—the chill that was supposed to be in my veins melting into something warm. As he turned the corner, I could feel the mate bond pricking my skin. I caught my breath and peered at him over Felix's shoulder, forgetting for a second the dreadful circumstances surrounding me.

He had brought me flowers—dark pink roses that looked beautiful in his hands—and he was dressed to the nines, like a true king. The tuxedo was tailored to his exact measurements, matching the width of his muscles, and wrapped as though the material were meant to lie on his flesh. I'd seen men in tuxedos before, but none of them had made me question my breathing or made me weak in the knees.

My eyes shot up his jacket's lapels and landed on the pocket square covering his heart, the silken material blatantly embroidered with a regal symbol of wolves in gold. He was staring at my face and the way I was looking at him, but he could only see my face and my skin. Felix could not see Derrick yet because everything else was out of his line of sight. As I looked away from him, I noticed the deliberate clench of his jaw, and before I could respond to Felix's question, Derrick's volatility shot out of his mouth.

"Her boyfriend is about to break your hands if you don't take them off her." It was a straightforward, aggressive threat that was brimming with jealous intent.

With the promise of blood, the words shouldn't have been so alluring, but I could feel his claim twisting inside of me, burning me from the inside out.

I was a victim of our link as always, and this was what I had been terrified of.