Chapter 57

Thea's Point of View

My steps are big. I dashed to get the brown envelope. My eyes are already welling up with tears. I hate him. I don't want him to treat me this way any longer. I despise him for being so ready to do this to me! I loathe how he treated me! I removed the paper from the envelope and examined it. My eyes no longer deceive me since his signature is already on the page.

More and more large traces of tears fell on the paper. I'm just sobbing. I looked at him sharply then tore that paper in front of him. I furiously tore it up until the pieces fell to the floor. His eyes widened. Since he still had a paper in his hand I pulled it out as well. Maybe because of his shock, he didn't react immediately. I tore it all up too! I haven't left a single one!

I stepped back then knelt. My feet couldn't take it anymore. There I just cried and cried until he came to me. I punched his chest. He doesn’t fight and he doesn’t stop me either but he tries to hug me. Luckily Cray wasn't here because he would be mad at Craig.

"I hate you ... I hate you ... I hate that I love you ..." My voice was weak because of my sobs. I am angry because I love him! I get angry because no matter how much time is wasted — nothing. He still really owns my heart.

“Why are you doing this?!” He doesn’t speak and he lets me get furious. I was even more annoyed by his silence. Won't he even say anything to me?

"I'm sorry." That's what he said. I can’t understand why I’m like this! I am also confused. Honestly, it wasn't his fault that I was offended by his signing. Isn't that what I'm asking for? That would also solve the problem so that Felicity would no longer bother him.

I pushed him and stood up. I still can't stop hating him. I averted my face when he brought it closer to me. When I finally stood up, I turned my back on him. I was just about to take a step when he spoke.

“I don't know where I'm going. You will pull me towards you and then push me away.” He grinned but the pain was there. "Every time you pull me closer to you, I don't know if I'm going to give in because when I make a step, you push me right away when I haven't been able to get close yet." He turned his back on me. I looked behind him but he continued. “For several years you did not listen to my side. I didn't force you because I know you don't want to. ”

I cringed because there was nothing wrong with what he said. Everything he said is a dagger to me. “I gave you a chance to be free to me but you didn't want. You made me laugh again.”

When he sniffed that's when I woke up. Maybe there are parts of the story that I don’t want to hear because I’m selfish. Because I thought I was the most arrogant.

Maybe I don’t want to hear other stories because I’m scared to hear them? But what am I really afraid of? Craig was my only ally.

Why do I distance myself from him?

My feet moved spontaneously. They stepped over to Craig then I hugged him from behind. He would have faced but I stopped that. “Don’t face me yet. Just let me say what I want to say.”

He held my hands clasping around his waist as he waited for me to speak. My head was leaning behind him as I began to speak. “I will not apologize to you. I don't know if your reason is acceptable and if you are not accountable for what happened.” My cheek is already red. It's like I ate a lot of chilies and can't say what to say next but it's now or never.

“But let me listen to that. If you really should be given a chance.”

I couldn't stop him from suddenly facing me. His smiles now reach up to his eyes. He touched both my cheeks and then kissed me hard on the lips. The kiss was only superficial so it didn't last long.

“I will tell you everything. I will not miss every detail. I will not waste the opportunity you gave me!” The excitement was obvious in his voice. He hugged me again so I pulled him away from me. I stared at him to show that we weren't well yet so don't get him too excited.

He pulled me into the swivel chair. I thought he would make me sit there but he let me stand up when he sat there. I was about to leave when he pulled my hand and sat me on his lap. If my eyes were any bigger it would be this, maybe.

Craig began to speak. He explained everything to me from the beginning. He doesn't seem to be lying because everything is detailed, it also matches what we talk about before. I don't speak and pay attention to everything he says so that we don't have a misunderstanding. When we both fell silent he spoke again.

“What about Cray? I thought our son had died? H-how come?” It was obvious to him that he still didn't want to open the topic because every word he said was slow as if he was afraid of how I would react to him.

"They are twins."

That's all I said because I'm sure he'll get it.

He's right, I'm still not quite ready for the death of another child even though it's been a long time but for mothers like me, others don't know how painful it is for us that the child you thought you could be with suddenly disappeared. Everything was planned but suddenly it happened.

I just played with his desk as his hug tightened on my stomach. I gasped as he leaned his forehead against my back. I glanced at him and ruffled his hair. Maybe I'm wrong that I haven't listened to him before.

In the silence, we both stared at the loud ringing of the phone on the table. That was Felicity. He watched my reaction but I averted my face from him. He suddenly answered the call and turned on the loudspeaker.

"I told you Craig but you didn't listen."