63

Four Months Later

Henry Sankara

I was looking at a house with Amir because I would like to move with my family, but today especially Amir was not in the mood, I found him frustrated and uncomfortable, maybe he had problems with Dina.

Him: does this house suit you?

Me: yes, it is very good and there are four rooms, it suits me

Him: well I'll go and prepare the papers

Me: Wait, Amir, do you have a problem at home with Dina?

Him: No, I don't have a problem with Dina, I assure you.

Me: you look frustrated, are you happy in your home, I mean is everything going well with you and Dina in terms of intimacy?

Him: Why do you ask?

Me: I don't know, you look like this

Him: no, in fact, the problem is that for some time I have a desire to be intimate with Dina but unfortunately I can't fulfill this desire because I think of Dina and I say to myself that she won't let me do it, that for the moment it's too early

Me: I see, I think you should talk to her about it Dina, she is a very understanding person, just tell her that you want to

Him: she is not ready for it I think

Me: if you try to make her understand, intimacy is important in a couple

Him: yes it's true, and I think she knows it, it's also true that I never showed my desire to go further than kisses or cuddles.

Me: Good! Now go home and send me the papers tomorrow

Him: ok, I leave you the keys, you will lock up when you leave, goodbye and thank you

Me: You're welcome, goodbye

Ah, Amir, is a good man and Dina was lucky to meet him, I don't know why she hesitates so much to give him a chance, the way he looks at her you can see right away how much he loves her, I hope she will realize this and change for the better, that she will finally be able to behave like his wife in every way.

Dina Sow Sankara

I was at Elena's house to spend some time, the kids were playing in the living room and I was helping Elena clean her kids' room.

Elena: Dina

Me: uh yes I say while looking at her

She: I will have a question about other private

Me: uh yes tell me?

She: do you assume your marital duties towards Amir

Me: yes I think so, I take care of him as I should at least I think

She: ah that's not true Dina I say sexually speaking

Me: uh no, he never asked me anything

She: how is it possible you have been married for one year

She thinks for a while and then looks threatening

Her: I am sure that you are the cause of all this

Me: me what?

Her: you surely don't let me touch you or even try to go further

Me: but that's not true

Her: don't take me for an idiot I'm sure you're putting the brakes on, but Dina why are you doing this?

Me: and you why are you advocating for him?

Her: he is a good person, a friend and he doesn't deserve this

Me: I assure you that I have never said no to him

She: but your way of doing it shows that you don't love him and that you don't want to have a relationship with him, Dina is your husband now, what are you waiting for to give him the place he deserves at your side?

Me: I give him the place he deserves of course Elena

Her: not enough, why don't you want to let him love you, enter your heart, why don't you allow yourself to love him?

Me: I don't know

Her: or is it because you are afraid to fall in love with him and to end up losing him

I didn't answer anything

She: oh Dina, life is like that, everyone will end up leaving one day, it's not because you're afraid of losing him that you shouldn't love him, on the contrary, love him for as long as God will give you, be there for him as long as you can, enjoy the time you have and when the time comes that he will have to leave you'll keep in you the beautiful memories that you shared Do you think he is not afraid of losing you?

Me: I don't know

Her: yes, if we all have this fear of losing the loved one but it should not be fear, then Dina free yourself make Amir happy and make you happy.

Me: Ok, I say, shaking my head.

A little later

I had just come home with the kids and I was surprised to see Amir at home.

Me: Are you ok I said, wanting to touch him

Him: yes I'm fine he said stopping my hand from going against his skin

Mika: Daddy, are you sick?

Him: no my son

Neo: but you look sick

Him: not at all my sons, let's go play in the yard

I watched him leave and I wondered if he had a problem, he seemed a little upset, that said I went to take a shower and then I changed before going to warm up the food that I had prepared earlier.

The evening

I was all alone in the room waiting for Amir to put the kids to bed, for a few moments he entered the room, went to the shower, and then came back and climbed on the bed and sat down with one hand behind his head.

Me: Amir, are you ok?

Him: yes everything is fine Dina

Me: Are you sure?

Him: yes very sure sleep now

Me: I am not sleepy, we could talk

Him: yes but about what?

Me: uh before I thought that you were a Muslim

Him: oh well why

Me: because most of the Senegalese are

Him: yes I was before when my mother was with my biological father

Me: What do you mean, your father-in-law is not your father?

Him: no, mom remarried him after my biological father died

Me: oh I didn't know that, I'm sorry

Him: don't worry it's not so painful anymore, anyway my father wasn't very nice when he died it was more a relief than anything else because he beat my mother and me too, I wasn't really sad when he died.

Me: ah I see I didn't know all that

Him: it's obvious I never talk about it, it's when mom married dad that we changed religion because my mom had started to hate Islam, in fact, she was disgusted by it

Me: why?

Him: because too many times she wanted to divorce but my father didn't want to, so we didn't consider her word, she suffered in silence and too many times she heard "Marriage is for life, you have to endure".

Me: maybe it depended on the people who were around her and also on your grandparents, maybe they were the ones who didn't support her, otherwise religion is not really at fault.

Him: yes, maybe, in any case, it's in the past

Me: yes, your mother must have endured a lot, how did she make you stay with her, your father's family didn't want you back?

Him: No, not at all, my father was an Arab, my paternal grandfather had married my paternal grandmother and had my father, but my grandfather's parents did everything to put an end to this relationship, they didn't want any blacks in the family, so my father was of mixed race and grew up only with my grandmother who died very early.

Me: I understand better the texture of your hair and so what are you? A half-breed, a black or what?

Him: I would not know how to answer you, for my part, I am black more than my complexion is black

Me: So if one day we have children they will be able to come out the light?

Him: yes, just like Mika, he says smiling

Me: ok cool, but I hope they will come out just like you.

Him: uh ok he answers with a smile

Amir Sow

Was Dina planning to have children with me? Maybe so, this little hope made me smile, I hope it will get better

To Follow........