Part: 18

I called Anu at three o'clock in the night to clear my confusion that I'm really in love with Mr Stranger or all this is happening with me because I'm talking to him regularly. I'm puzzled.

Fuck, what is happening to me?

She answered my call when I called her for the second time. "What happened, Inaya? Is everything all right?" She asked in a sleepy tone, but sounding concerned.

"Nothing is alright, Anu." I cried out.

"What happened, tell me?" She asked concernedly.

"I want-want to know something." I stammered a bit, biting my nails.

"What?" She instantly asked.

I sighed, closing my eyes and asked, "What is love?"

She freaked out. "You've called me at this time to know what is love, are you-" She paused for a few seconds. "Don't tell me you're in love with somebody." She asked, getting excited because she has been waiting for me to fall in love for a long time.

"First, just tell me what I'm asking from you, Anu, please." I literally begged. After all, I want to clear my confusion because I'm going crazy. I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind.

"Look, the feeling of love is not so complicated. If you truly love somebody from your heart, his happiness matters to you a lot. His every word affects you a lot. You can't stop thinking about that person. You feel out of the world when you're with him. Your heartbeat becomes fast when he comes near you. You can do anything for his happiness-"

"I think, I'm in love, Anu," I uttered suddenly with a smile on my face.

Yes, I think I'm really in love because whatever she's saying, it is happening the same with me. From day one, Mr Stranger's happiness matters to me, his words really affect me a lot, I just can't stop thinking about him, I feel so happy from inside when I talk to him, and today I felt his presence and my heart was racing because he was near me. I'm really in love with him. Oh god, now what I'll do?

"Inaya, first let me complete my words. Don't conclude."

"Okay." I sighed and whispered.

"By the way, Is that person is Mr Stranger?" She asked, making my eyes widen a bit in surprise.

How does she come to know everything about me?

"Yes and that's why I'm worried. He doesn't even want to meet me and here I fell in love with him." My eyebrows creased and my lips drew down dejectedly. It is too complicated.

I have been waiting to experience love for so long. And now when I finally fell in love, with whom? Mr Stranger, who neither wants to meet me nor wants to reveal his identity. I fell in love with a person whom I never met and have never even seen his face.

Seriously, is it possible to fall in love like this?

Is this really love?

Oh god, I'm so confused.

"Relax and listen to me attentively. Look, Inaya, these are all the synonyms of love which I've told you now are similar to love which we feel for our friends and family too. I'm your friend and you love me a lot, you can do anything for my happiness and you feel good when you talk to me. You indeed love Mr. stranger, but maybe just like friends love each other, like us, like you love your family, and obviously, if you talk to him all the time then you would surely end up thinking about him all the time. Give some time to yourself, Inaya and I advise you to talk less to him for a few days. Try to understand and make yourself sure that you really love him or not like that way. When you start talking to him less, so maybe he would also realise that he loves you too. If he truly loves you, he would surely realise this, your ignorance would surely affect him and make him realise, and you too would realise. I hope, you're understanding me." She explained to me. I completely understood her.

"You're right, I should give some time to myself to clear my mind." I nodded, utterly agreeing with her.

"Now don't think too much and sleep." She said to me.

"I love you, good night," I said.

"I love you too, Inaya." As she hung up, I kept my phone on the table, wondering about Anu's words.

Anu is right, time would surely clear my confusion and if Mr Stranger also loves me, then he would also realise.

But how would I ignore Mr Stranger? Ignoring someone is so difficult for me. It kills deep inside when somebody ignores you and how will I ignore Mr Stranger after knowing this.

But, I have to do this.

I have to do this to clear my confusion and his confusion too. Perhaps he would also be as confused as I'm. Maybe he would, I'm not sure.

If I keep thinking about him, I would surely lose my mind very soon.

I couldn't able to sleep properly the whole night. I was waking up after every half an hour, soaked with sweat. I was only thinking that I'm really in love or not.

Next morning

I'm standing under the shower, the warm water is cascading down my body and relaxing my body, but the inner me is not at peace. Today, I ignored his morning message. I'm not feeling good after doing this. I'm feeling restless.

I know if I keep thinking about him, I would go crazy, but after knowing this too, I still can't able to stop myself from thinking about him and wondering if I love him or not, and he loves me or not.

I think I should keep myself busy for a few days otherwise I would lose my mind because I'm overthinking now and it is really harmful to think too much about something. It is destructive and mentally draining. I know about this because I have gone through it before.

__________

"You aren't looking fine. Is everything all right, bacha?" Dad asked me concernedly when I sauntered into the kitchen after taking the shower. I'm really looking like I'm exhausted.

"I'm fine, dad. It's just that I slept late at night because I was doing the assignment." I lied to him because I don't want to increase his tension by telling him about my confused feelings.

He placed his hand over my face. "It is not a good habit to do work at night and sleep late. Sleep on time." I gave him a slight nod, he leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead. I gave him a faint smile.

___________

One Day passed away of me ignoring Mr Stranger. He sent me a few messages and called me twice, firstly in the morning and then in the evening. I'm craving to talk to him. Only I know how I'm controlling myself from not answering his calls and messages. I'm sure he would be worried for me because if he had done this with me, I would have certainly gone crazy worrying about him.

I thought to give him a reply so that he stops worrying about me.

Mr Stranger: Hey, good morning, princess.

Mr Stranger: Where are you? Is everything alright? Why aren't you picking up my calls and replying to my messages?

Mr Stranger: You're making me anxious. Please, reply.

Mr Stranger: At least tell me what happened? You're scaring me.

Mr Stranger: It's enough. Tell me what happened.

I dejectedly closed my eyes after reading his messages. He is really worried about me.

Is it really necessary to ignore him?

I sighed and started typing the message.

Inaya: I'm sorry. I was busy with college assignments. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Now I'm sleeping because I'm wrecked.

As I sent the message, he came online like he was waiting for my reply. I'm feeling extremely sad to ignore him intentionally.

Mr Stranger: Thank god, you replied. I became so worried about you. I really hope, you're really fine and you're not lying to me.

I sighed deeply.

Inaya: I'm fine, Mr Stranger. I'm sorry again.

Mr Stranger: It's Okay. Now sleep and good night. Don't forget to call me in the morning.

Inaya: Good night, bye.

Mr Stranger: Bye, take care.

I felt an urge to talk to him and tell him everything, but I controlled myself. I kept the phone on the side table and tried to sleep after closing my eyes, lying on my side, keeping my hands beneath my head, still wondering about him. I'm missing talking to him and also missing the way he uses to call me Princess.

Please, God, clear my confusion soon because I can't ignore him like this. It hurts to do this.